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| CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER: Bang a Gong. |
*NEW* Alpha Dog
In a crime flick inspired by the true story of the youngest man ever to make the FBI's Most Wanted List, Emile Hirsch stars as Johnny Truelove, a teen from the suburbs living the gangsta lifestyle. When one of his running mates comes up short with the cash he owes, Johnny, along with the rest of his crew of wannabe thugz and hustlaz, kidnaps the younger brother of Jake (Ben Foster), a drug-addled, neo-Nazi Jew (natch), leading to inevitable tragedy. Nick Cassavetes' solid script and assured direction build the foundation for a film that should join the ranks of such teens-gone-wild dramas as Menace II Society. Hirsch plays things a bit too low-key, though, while Foster is so over the top, chewing each scene like a starving wolverine in a feeding frenzy, that it seems like he's in a different movie. Boy-toy pop singer Justin Timberlake gives the film's most balanced and best performance, serving as the broken moral compass for all the other characters, and emerges as the most interesting and complex character in the film. R. DAVID WALKER. Pioneer Place, Eastport, Division, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Movies on TV, City Center.
*NEW* American Blackout
[SHORT RUN] Portland State University celebrates Martin Luther King Jr. Day with a documentary advocating for former congresswoman Cynthia McKinney. She had a dream about Sept. 11 conspiracies, and slapping police officers. 5th Avenue Cinema, 510 SW Hall St. 7 pm Friday, Jan 12, and 6 pm Sunday, Jan. 14. Free.
Apocalypto
For the sake of criticism, let's try to forget that Mel Gibson doesn't particularly like a certain Chosen People. Let's focus on what Gibson does like: epic stories about heroes driven by vengeance, drenched in blood and loaded with human sacrifice (literal and symbolic). Apocalypto, Crazy Mel's long-delayed film set during the decline of Mayan culture, is what you'd expect from Gibson. The unlucky hero is Jaguar Paw (Rudy Youngbloood), whose village is ransacked, its survivors carted off to the slave market and the blood-soaked sacrificial altar. Facing dismemberment, Jaguar Paw struggles to get home to his pregnant wife-in-peril, resulting in a chase-through-the-jungle adventure that overindulges in gruesome killings. R. AP KRYZA. Lloyd Mall, Cedar Hills, Movies on TV, City Center.
*NEW* Arthur and the Invisibles
Luc Besson (The Professional, The Fifth Element) helms a children's movie about tiny people called Minimoys. We miss Milla Jovovich already. Not screened for critics. Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Division, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sandy, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, Vancouver Plaza.
Blood Diamond
"Throughout the history of Africa," a G-8 summit delegate intones at the start of Blood Diamond, "whenever a new resource is discovered, the locals die." And that's exactly what the natives of Sierra Leone do in this picture—they die by the scores in a deluge of machine-gun fire, victims of a civil war sparked by the area's gemstones. But Leonardo DiCaprio, Djimon Hounsou and Jennifer Connelly keep conveniently dodging the bullets, since only their continued search for a big pink stone guarantees that we get that most unwieldy of mixtures: the consciousness-raising action flick. R. AARON MESH. Broadway, Lloyd Mall, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cinema 99, City Center.
Casino Royale
Daniel Craig has been the most verbally blasted Bond since George Lazenby (On Her Majesty's Secret Service), and fanboys cannot stop bitching about Craig's hard-boiled look and aggressive demeanor. But anybody who saw Craig as a sly coke dealer in Layer Cake (2004) knows that he can do complicated, slick and charming. And as Bond, the Brit makes naysayers eat their words. Casino Royale, adapted from Ian Fleming's first Bond book, is arguably the best installment in the franchise since 1964's Goldfinger. While Craig looks more Steve McQueen than Sean Connery, he exudes suave charisma and an edginess previously unseen in the series. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Broadway, Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Moreland, Bridgeport, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas, Cinema 99, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
The Cave of the Yellow Dog
Girl meets dog. Girl loves dog. Girl loses dog. Dog saves girl's little brother from hungry vultures. So, it's not quite your usual small-child-and-puppy heartwarmer—it's a Mongolian small-child-and-puppy heartwarmer. The latest effort from director Byambasuren Davaa (The Story of the Weeping Camel) is rife with fetching images of the high steppe, but it's mainly dedicated to watching small children at play. The kids climb on rocks, dance with a porcelain Buddha, and build castles out of goat dung. Your enjoyment of Yellow Dog will depend entirely on your tolerance for unscripted tykes and animals—mine, I'm afraid, proved rather low. AARON MESH. Cinema 21. 616 NW 21st Ave., 223-4515. Wednesday-Thursday only; Living Room Theaters.
Charlotte's Web
Hollywood's current craze for updating old classics with modern special effects has, in the case of the new live-action version of Charlotte's Web, panned out beautifully. The mixture of live animals, animatronics, and CGI creates a coterie of barnyard animals that is far more lively and lifelike than some members of the film's human cast. Dakota Fanning remains, as ever, a pampered little twit, and her portrayal of Fern Arable is the one sour note in an otherwise good film. E.B. White's Fern is a warmhearted, stubborn little girl. Fanning's Fern is a petulant, self-righteous brat. I'd never thought I'd say this, but thank god for Julia Roberts, whose gentle and sensible voice overwhelms Fanning's irritating performance, and animates Charlotte better than any computer-generated arachno-wizardry ever could. G. KATE LEBO. Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Division, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sandy, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
Children of Men
It may be only the first weekend of January, but I'm willing to lay money that Children of Men is the finest film we'll see in 2007. But watch it while you can: If Alfonso CuarÓn's dystopian vision is to be believed, moviegoing is one of many things you won't be able to do in 2027. Another is babymaking—a capability CuarÓn imagines vanishing in 2009. The barren world turns on itself, and among the many disquieting marvels within the picture are the hints, scattered at the edges of the frame, of our fates. New York City disappears in a mushroom cloud, and Seattle is overrun by Muslim clerics. (First they came for Dan Savage, and I did not speak out because I was not Dan Savage.) Thankfully, Clive Owen is still around to perfect his world-weary heroism—much needed when British activists reveal a young refugee (Claire-Hope Ashitey) with a familiar swell to her womb. A short summary can't do justice to Children of Men, which is a triumph on all levels: a clever reimagining of P.D. James' novel, a thrilling action film, a cutting political commentary, an actor's showcase (Julianne Moore and Michael Caine have never been better) and a heartrending religious parable. It feels like nothing else I've seen. It feels like a rebirth of cinema. R. AARON MESH. Pioneer Place, Eastport, Division, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas, Cinetopia, City Center.
Curse of the Golden Flower
Any film by Chinese director Zhang Yimou (Hero, House of Flying Daggers) promises to be visually breathtaking. Like its predecessors, Curse of the Golden Flower is a cinematic kaleidoscope. From a glowing stained-glass palace to a blood-spattered field of chrysanthemums (the golden flower of the film's title), each piece adds to the magnificent living mosaic on the screen. Delving into dark Shakespearean territory (and beating Hamlet's body count), Curse is a tale of love, longing, vengeance, incest, betrayal and tragedy that plays out among a royal family in 10th-century China. Gracefully aging action legend Chow Yun Fat is all menace and wisdom as tyrannical Emperor Ping, who returns from conquering, intent on eliminating his empress, Phoenix (Gong Li). Meanwhile, Phoenix is planning a coup, drawing lines between the emperor's three very different sons. It all boils to a massive, tragic crescendo that explodes from the screen like a fireball. Subdued, minimalist performances by Fat and Li are great, but it's Yimou and cinematographer Zhao Xiaoding who steal the show with a gorgeous, bloody tale brought to life with a master's eye. R. AP KRYZA. Fox Tower, Eastport, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas, City Center.
Code Name: The Cleaner
You know a movie is bad when halfway through it you think to yourself, "There better be outtakes!" Cedric the Entertainer is transformed into Cedric the Narrator in this story about a janitor who loses his memory and thinks he's a spy. I believe "The Cleaner" refers to the fact that theaters housing this movie will be cleaner than others. Lucy Liu (Lucky Number Slevin) and Nicollette Sheridan (Desperate Housewives) co-star as Cedric's competing love interests but are pimped out like cheap hos in a rap video. It's as if someone said, "The premise is bad, but the script will make it good." And then they said, "The script is bad, but Cedric will make it good." And Cedric said, "I'm just here for my paycheck." At least there were some good outtakes. PG-13. NATE SMITH. Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Division, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Movies on TV, Sandy, Tigard Cinemas, Cinema 99.
Down in the Valley
[SHORT RUN] Edward Norton thinks he's a cowboy, and tries to convince Evan Rachel Wood. Possible tack: "Hey baby, I'm a cowboy." R. Living Room Theaters, 341 SW 10th Ave., (971) 222-2010.
Dreamgirls
When Effie (Jennifer Hudson)—who has been replaced as lead singer of the Dreamettes by the slimmer, more "likable" Deena (BeyoncÉ Knowles)—realizes she's been booted from the group entirely, the shit hits the effin' fan. Filmgoers familiar with the Broadway score wait for her song ("And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going") like manna from heaven. Those who know little about it will be frozen in their seats when it arrives. And Hudson's performance is good—really good. That moment is worth everything else. That's why I'm telling you I will go see it again. PG-13. BYRON BECK. Fox Tower, St. Johns Twin Cinema-Pub, Eastport, Division, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sandy, Tigard Cinemas, Cinetopia, City Center.
Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds
[SHORT RUN] When the best line of the movie, "I ate pussy for nothing?," comes from the screaming mouth of American Idol Season One loser Jim Verraros, you know you're in for big trouble. The trouble is, this movie is actually, sort of, almost...good. OK, so it's not Gay Citizen Kane, but as a stupid diversion it's a nice relief. Revolving around a very thin plot having to do with Verraros' character joining the ex-gay movement just so he can turn a straight guy gay, this Freud-meets-Shakespeare-in-a-back-alley farce has another thingy going for it: Marco Dapper. GAWD, this boy is hot. BYRON BECK. Cinema 21. 616 NW 21st Ave., 223-4515. Wednesday-Thursday only.
The Empire in Africa
[SHORT RUN] Phillipe Diaz's documentary tells the story of the political crisis in Sierra Leone in the 1990s that ultimately led to the killing of more than 70,000 people and the displacement of at least 2 million. Diaz is particularly skilled at illustrating the contradictions and discrepancies between decisions made on the U.N. floor and their actual implementation on the ground. He makes an honest attempt to identify the main players and explain the story clearly to those unfamiliar with West African affairs, but sparse narration and poor editing for the first half of the film leaves many details confusing and questions unanswered. That aside, the film is extremely powerful—especially in its entirely uncensored depiction of the gruesome brutality suffered by Sierra Leoneans. The Empire in Africa advances the message that in Sierra Leone, and other African nations, there are rarely clear good guys or bad guys, just countless innocent victims. LANCE KRAMER. Hollywood Theatre. Wednesday-Thursday only.
Eragon
Based on the teen-targeted series by Christopher Paolini—only 15 when he wrote the first book—Eragon tells the story of a farm boy (Edward Speleers, looking oh-so-Skywalker) whose destiny lies in a dragon's egg. See, long ago a clan of knightly dragon-riders (see: Jedi) protected the land—until an evil emperor (John Malkovich, hammier than an Egg McMuffin) wiped them out. When the egg hatches, Eragon becomes linked to a telekinetic dragon voiced by Rachel Weisz and flies off to fulfill a heroic prophecy with his own personal Obi-Wan (Jeremy Irons). Despite a clunky script and clunkier acting, Eragon manages to excite throughout, packed with some amazing special effects (and some really bad ones) and big battles. PG. AP KRYZA. Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Division, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Forest, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
Freedom Writers
It's January, and there's one sure bet: Whether it's Antonio Banderas teaching ballroom dancing, Michelle Pfeiffer teaching poetry or Samuel L. Jackson teaching basketball, the kids in the ghetto are about to be inspired. This year's hard-nosed educator is two-time Oscar winner Hilary Swank, and in Freedom Writers she motivates the hell out of Long Beach students in the wake of the L.A. riots. The Latino, African-American and Cambodian gangs have drawn the school yard into a war zone, fighting more often than even the whitest trash on Jerry Springer. Will new teacher Swank motivate the kids, even if it costs her her relationship with Patrick "McDreamy" Dempsey? Damn skippy. Will the lone white kid finally learn to dance? Shit, yeah. After Swank teaches the kids about the Holocaust, they transform from gun-totin' thugs to pastel-wearing, diary-writing, hand-holding good kids. Everything in Freedom Writers, even the mid-'90s rap soundtrack, reeks of Dangerous Minds. But who the hell cares? You get what you expect—inspiration, cheese and all. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Pioneer Place, Eastport, Division, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Movies on TV, Sandy, Wilsonvlle, Cinema 99.
The Good Shepherd
Nearly a decade after Good Will Hunting, Matt Damon sure could use another shrink. As he's moved away from playing gifted brats, Damon has begun to specialize in crabbed, clogged men who couldn't locate their feelings with two hands and a flashlight. As CIA spook Edward Wilson in The Good Shepherd, the actor shrinks steadily throughout the movie, eventually hiding so completely behind his Coke-bottle glasses that he resembles a government-sanctioned Elmer Fudd, off to hunt the wascally Communists. But he picks the right note for the performance, and The Good Shepherd is is a powerful achievement: No other movie has shown so clearly how patriotism can be warped into a perverse White Man's Burden. R. AARON MESH. Pioneer Place, St. Johns Twin Cinema-Pub, Eastport, Division, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Forest, Hilltop, Lake Twin, Movies on TV, Sandy, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, Cinetopia, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
Happily N'Ever After
Say you're making a slipshod knockoff of the Shrek franchise that depends on animated gremlins cracking astonishingly unfunny jokes. Say much of your movie's running time consists of the imps giving slow double-takes after each gag. Wouldn't it seem a good idea to invest whatever capital you have into making sure those cartoon faces are capable of expression? This insight somehow didn't occur to first-time director Paul J. Bolger or anyone in the international cadre of Happily N'Ever After producers, who have harnessed the power of computer graphics to create visages on par with those in a mid-'90s Bond video game. Some of the synthetic effects are understandable (making a cartoon version of Freddie Prinze Jr. is an unenviable task), but shouldn't the onscreen version of the talking warthog look more lifelike than the one sold in Toys "R" Us? PG. AARON MESH. Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Division, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sandy, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, Vancouver Plaza.
Hurricane on the Bayou
When MacGillivray Freeman Films brings its IMAX cameras into your ZIP code, it's time to move. Everest was intended as a document of high-altitude achievement, until eight climbers wandered into thin air; Hurricane on the Bayou was supposed to be a warning about what would happen if a wetland-depleted New Orleans encountered the Big One. Then the Big One hit. Director Greg MacGillivray captures all the scenic swamp vistas expected in a giant-screen production, and keeps the heartbreak to a minimum—this is probably the only Katrina documentary safe for kids. It's also more than a bit sentimental and evasive about the disaster, making no references to any response but the heroic. The rosy tone is a mystery until the closing credits mention all that funding from the State of Louisiana. AARON MESH. OMSI.
*NEW* Karla
The Canadian press dubbed Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka the "Ken and Barbie Killers," and Joel Bender's tawdry little exploitation drama does nothing to change their reputation. As played by Misha Collins (TV's 24) and Laura Prepon (That 70s Show), Paul and Karla are beautiful, vapid and soulless—and by the conclusion of the first act, you'll want to run them both over with a G. I. Joe tank. Our uneasy sympathies are supposed to lie with the passive girl who "just wanted to get married." But when your fiancÉ's form of pillow talk is to chat about how little a severed head weighs, maybe it's time to reevaluate the relationship. First impressions of the movie, meanwhile, prove entirely true: It's a piece of plastic shit. AARON MESH. Hollywood Theatre.
*NEW* King: A Filmed Record
[ONE NIGHT ONLY] Sidney Lumet's Oscar-nominated documentary follows the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. from Montgomery to Memphis. Clinton Street Theater. 7 and 9:15 pm Monday, Jan. 15. $6.
Late Night Shopping
Slacker Brits work the night shift, talk, drink coffee. Think Kicking and Screaming, with accents. Living Room Theaters, 341 SW 10th Ave., 922-2637.
Little Children
Actor-turned-director Todd Field's second literary adaptation (after 2001's In the Bedroom) focuses on a couple of refugees from a New Yorker short story—housewife Sarah (Kate Winslet) and house-husband Brad (Hard Candy's Patrick Wilson)—who slip into a passionate affair (you could call this one In the Laundry Room). Accurately adapting Tom Perrotta's novel, Field, a former suburban Portlander, elicits finely honed performances from his terrific cast, which includes Jennifer Connelly, Noah Emmerich and Trini Alvarado, while avoiding the American Beauty trap of divisive caricature. R. D.K. HOLM. Call theaters for showtimes.
Look Both Ways
Young Australians in crisis. With animated interludes. Crikey. Living Room Theaters, 341 SW 10th Ave., (971) 222-2010.
*NEW* Meet the Feebles
[SHORT RUN] Peter Jackson's early work concerns drug-addicted, sexually promiscuous puppets. Kind of like hobbits, but less queer. Clinton Street Theater. 7 and 9 pm Friday-Saturday, Jan. 12-13. $6.
Night at the Museum
In this season's family spectacle, museum guard Ben Stiller watches over his lions and dinosaurs by night—and discovers they're ambulatory. It's a perfect idea for director Shawn Levy (no, not that Shawn Levy). What child hasn't dreamed that stuffed displays would engage in conversation? (That said, this isn't a new achievement; Walt Disney called it audio-animatronics, and that was in 1963.) But the movie, like the exhibits, comes to life only intermittently. It's underwritten and frantic, saved from dull anarchy only by some inspired comic work by Ricky Gervais (as the tongue-tied curator) and Steve Coogan (as, quite literally, the very model of a Roman major general). PG. AARON MESH. Pioneer Place, Roseway, Eastport, Division, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sandy, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, Cinetopia, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
Notes on a Scandal
In life, you have to make choices. If, for example, you are a lady art teacher at a London secondary school, you can either befriend your elderly, cantankerous colleague or you can sleep with your hunkiest student. If you choose both, the old lady is so going to tell. There's nothing especially innovative about the latest effort of director Richard Eyre (Iris), which boils down to Fatal Attraction with a geriatric villain and a Sapphic subtext. But Eyre has made a wise decision of his own—he's focused his movie on the acidic performance of Dame Judi Dench. Whether she's denigrating her surroundings in voice-over (memorably describing one yobbish student as "a monkey that wandered out of the jungle and asked for a gin-and-tonic") or threatening Cate Blanchett with ruin, Dench tears into her role with dentures bared. Most actresses of a certain age content themselves with playing lovable eccentrics—usually former divas with a lust for life. Dame Judi wastes no time with such vanity. Her appetite is for destruction. R. AARON MESH. Fox Tower.
The Painted Veil
What can you do about a cheating, indifferent wife? There's divorce, obviously, or pretended ignorance—or you can drag her into the middle of a Chinese cholera epidemic. Walter (Edward Norton) likes the third option, so it's off to Guangxi province with Kitty (Naomi Watts). Once there, the couple finds they have more in common than they thought. (They both think little singing orphans are cute, for example.) Director John Curran (We Don't Live Here Anymore) has adapted W. Somerset Maugham's 1925 novel to contemporary taste, which means the writer's feeble Catholic spirituality has been replaced by more carnal passions. The result feels like the work of another British author, Graham Greene, with the figure of God replaced by disease. The cholera giveth, and the cholera taketh away. But germs don't make the most compelling foil, and while The Painted Veil has its luscious moments, it may ultimately leave the audience feeling, like Kitty, rather cold. PG-13. AARON MESH. Fox Tower.
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
Say this for Tom Tykwer: Big-studio backing has done nothing to dull his weird sensibility. His Perfume has the luscious production values of a Shakespeare in Love, but Tykwer (the director of Run Lola Run) has placed his period piece in an amoral universe closer in tone to Marc Caro and Jean-Pierre Jeunet's Delicatessen. For the 18th-century Parisian street urchin Jean-Baptiste Grenouille (newcomer Ben Whishaw), life is a big game of scratch-and-sniff: He cracks attractive girls on the head, then scrapes off their body oils to make cologne. (You might say his is the original Axe Body Spray.) The movie changes gears at an alarming rate—at one moment it's dabbling in whimsical magic realism (with Dustin Hoffman in full face powder), and the next minute it's mixing the tricks of psychological horror with the conventions of the parlor-room whodunit. And that's before the odor-inspired, thousand-person naked orgy in the town square. See, I told you it was weird. R. AARON MESH. Fox Tower.
*NEW* Primeval
Billed as "the true story of the most prolific serial killer in history." Not mentioned: The serial killer is a giant crocodile. (Yes, really.) Not screened for critics, presumably so we wouldn't spoil the nonexistent surprise. R. Pioneer Place, Eastport, Division, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sandy, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
The Pursuit of Happyness
'Tis the season for paternal devotion: First, Djimon Hounsou searched across Sierra Leone for his kidnapped son in Blood Diamond, and here Will Smith schleps his 5-year-old moppet around San Francisco after the child's mother (Thandie Newton) walks out on them. Smith's Chris Gardner takes an unpaid internship at Dean Witter, hoping it's the ticket to a better life. But the life he initially gets involves sleeping in subway bathrooms. The English-language debut of director Gabriele Muccino, The Pursuit of Happyness is pure cinematic comfort food: a helping of Horatio Alger pluck with a dash of family bonding, sauced with '70s soul tracks. No prizes for guessing that Gardner triumphs over all obstacles. PG-13. AARON MESH. Broadway, Eastport, Division, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sandy, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, Cinetopia, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
The Queen
Dame Helen Mirren inhabits the intimidating persona of Queen Elizabeth II in this dramatization of the private lives of Britain's leaders in the days immediately following Princess Diana's 1997 death. Director Stephen Frears (Mrs. Henderson Presents, High Fidelity, The Grifters) keeps the kid gloves on in his treatment of the Royal Family and the Blairs, presenting what amounts to an apology for the missteps and insensitivity of the crown in the wake of national mourning for the ill-fated Diana. PG-13. JAMES WALLING. Fox Tower, St. Johns Twin Cinema-Pub, Hollywood Theatre, Cinemagic, Cinetopia, City Center.
Requiem
Hans-Christian Schmid's film is far less ghoulish than 2005's The Exorcism of Emily Rose, but it charts the same territory. The girl, here called Michaela and played by Sandra HÜller, just wants to pray and go to college—not necessarily in that order—but is harassed by her harpy mother and some nasty hallucinations. Requiem is an effective if drab bit of muesli realism, but Michaela proves a difficult heroine to love: She obsesses over the rosary, drinks until she passes out and refuses psychiatric treatment in favor of medieval rituals. The power of Christ does not compel her, and Requiem makes a persuasive case that mankind can stand only so much religion. AARON MESH. Living Room Theaters, 341 SW 10th Ave., (971) 222-2010.
*NEW* Stomp the Yard
College students practice their freestyle dance moves. How much cooler would this movie be if it were called Stomp the Quad? A helluva lot cooler. PG-13. Eastport, Division, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Movies on TV, Cinema 99.
*NEW* Things to Do
It's my task to lambaste Things to Do for the sentimental, inarticulate indie dreck that it is—but I relish the duty less every time I think of Ted Bezaire sitting in his room, gazing with admiration and envy at his copy of Bottle Rocket. Bezaire has written and directed a deadpan comedy in which an aimless young man partial to blue polo shirts (Michael Stasko) suffers a bit of a breakdown, returns to his hometown, connects with an optimistic misfit (Daniel Wilson) and starts making plans for outrageous adventure. In other words, he's stolen every element from Wes Anderson's debut except the sense of humor. (He's also seen The Graduate a couple of times, judging by the underwater swimming-pool montage and the attempt to turn a Sufjan Stevens soundtrack into the next "Mrs. Robinson.") There's no doubting Bezaire's affection for his secondhand suburban mavericks, but while he was gushing empathy all over the joint, he forgot to pen a single clever line. That's inexcusable. That I do not forgive. AARON MESH. Hollywood Theatre.
This Film Is Not Yet Rated
Filmmaker Kirby Dick sets out to uncover the secrets of the Motion Picture Association of America, or MPAA, which was started by the major Hollywood studios and began the current rating system in 1968. The investigation proves as scathing as it is entertaining, and as thought-provoking as it is frustrating. DAVID WALKER. Living Room Theaters, 341 SW 10th Ave., (971) 222-2010.
*NEW* Trailermania 5
[ONE NIGHT ONLY] Film archivist Greg Hamilton offers his favorite coming attractions, including Pinocchio in Outer Space and The Crater Lake Monster. Clinton Street Theater. 7 and 8:30 pm Tuesday, Jan. 16.
Unknown
Five men wake up in a locked warehouse in various states of disrepair (gunshot wounds, broken noses, etc.). They share a common complaint in a temporary case of amnesia, apparently caused by a punctured canister of some sort of mysterious gas. A paint-by-numbers thriller that comes off badly despite the efforts of a strong cast, including James Caviezel, Greg Kinnear and Joe Pantoliano. Director Simon Brand's freshman effort does not bode well for his future in filmmaking. JAMES WALLING. Living Room Theaters, 341 SW 10th Ave., (971) 222-2010.
Volver
Moms always pick the worst times to visit. Like the day after you've stashed your freshly murdered husband in the icebox. That's the plight of Raimunda (PenÉlope Cruz), whose daughter (Yohana Cobo) has fatally stabbed dear old pederastic Dad, and whose long-dead mother, Irene (Carmen Maura), has arrived on the scene, apparently unconcerned that she's a poltergeist. It's just another week in La Mancha (where "the wind drives people crazy") and, more broadly, in AlmodÓvarland. The great Spanish director Pedro AlmodÓvar has returned, but with an entry significantly less crazy than much of his canon. Volver, for all its plot twists, is a fairly restrained family drama crossed with a hide-the-body thriller. It's a pleasant exercise, but nothing in it can match Cruz in full Sophia Loren earth-mother form, complete with the pneumatic gifts. R. AARON MESH. Fox Tower.
Wordplay
Patrick Creadon's entertaining documentary focuses on mustachioed enigmatologist Will Shortz, crossword-puzzle master of The New York Times and National Public Radio. PG. Living Room Theaters, 341 SW 10th Ave., (971) 222-2010.
