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| Black Book: "Quick! We must dye our pubic hair!" |
300
"No retreat," announces King Leonidas as his waxed, buff troops march into battle. "No surrender. That is Sparta." Actually, that's a Bruce Springsteen song, but sure, I guess it can also be Sparta. After all, these are the people who sent 300 of their finest warriors to the Battle of Thermopylae to hold off Xerxes' vastly superior Persian forces in 480 B.C., so there's no sense quibbling. The trouble with Zack Snyder's movie it that it contains no sense at all. R. AARON MESH. Broadway, Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Division, Cedar Hills, 99 West Drive-In, Tigard Cinemas, Cinema 99, Cinetopia, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
After the Wedding
Oscar-nominated for Best Foreign Language Film, After the Wedding is a family melodrama so jam-packed with explosive secrets and lies that it's simply exhausting to endure. It's like a year's worth of soap-opera material crammed into two hours: Old flames unexpectedly reconnect, a child meets a long-lost biological father, then someone dies of a terminal illness. As with her earlier films, including Brothers and Open Hearts, Danish director Susanne Bier punctuates the melodrama with such Dogme 95 staples as the handheld camera and extreme close-ups. Because the protagonist Jacob (Mads Mikkelsen of Casino Royale) oversees an orphanage in Bombay, Bier first injects powerful imagery of Third World poverty and then attempts to upstage it with petty familial issues among the First World wealthy and privileged. Instead of eliciting liberal guilt, this juxtaposition unwittingly trivializes much of the plot development. Really, shouldn't we be caring about the starving children in India rather than whether estranged lovers will rekindle their relationship? R. MARTIN TSAI. Fox Tower.
Amazing Grace
Director Michael Apted brings the true story of British Parliament rabble-rouser William Wilberforce (a fantastic Ioan Gruffudd) as he rallies to abolish the slave trade. With a supporting cast of great white-wigged masters—Michael Gambon, Toby Jones and Albert Finney all shine and snarl—as well as gorgeous cinematography and a compelling story, Amazing Grace is a grand...grand...sorry, I just fell asleep thinking about it. PG. AP KRYZA. Tigard Cinemas, City Center.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
There are four things that are too wonderful for me, which I do not understand: Frylock, Master Shake, Meatwad and Karl. No, really—I don't get the joke of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and after suffering through a feature-length caper with the Cartoon Network's talking fast-food products, I'm entertaining a suspicion that enjoyment of the concept requires profound mental retardation. Where South Park delivers keen satire, and even Family Guy offers periodically amusing pop-culture references, ATHF consists wholly of random comments made in funny voices. The movie, which ostensibly offers an origin story for the food products, seems to have been made by a dozen guys getting high, recording their conversations and using the tape as the soundtrack for cheap animation. I know this opinion makes me sound square. I know it makes me sound old. But fuck that: This shit is bad for you. R. AARON MESH. Fox Tower, Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Cedar Hills, City Center.
Are We Done Yet?
Ice Cube has made a career of sneering. When he was sneering behind the mic in N.W.A., it was intimidating. When he sneered at a ho, that ho got slapped. When he sneered at a cop, he damn near started an uprising. He carried the sneer into his acting career. He's sneered at Martians (the god-awful Ghosts of Mars), Iraqis (the phenomenal Three Kings) and a blunt (Friday). In Are We Done Yet?, the sequel to the kiddie comedy Are We There Yet?, he's sneering at his stepchildren and an obnoxious contractor (Scrubs star John C. McGinley). And damn, that sneer has lost its effect. PG. AP KRYZA. Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Division, Oak Grove, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Sandy, Sherwood, Cinema 99, Vancouver Plaza.
*NEW* Avenue Montaigne
"A new life is like a house," an old man tells his son to justify his hot young gold-digging mistress: "At your age, you build one. At mine, you buy one." The tone of their conversation, like that of the whole film, swoops gracefully from angry to sad to funny to affectionate in seconds. That it works is a credit to writer-director Danièle Thompson (who also wrote Queen Margot and Those Who Love Me Can Take the Train), and to a great ensemble cast that includes Albert Dupontel, Sydney Pollack and Cécile de France, possibly the only actress adorable enough to make Audrey Tautou seem frumpy. PG-13. BECKY OHLSEN. Fox Tower.
*NEW* Black Book
Paul Verhoeven's first Dutch film in 23 years plays out just like the Hollywood blockbusters he has left behind. Black Book is a World War II epic complete with nail-biting twists, turns, giant explosions and bare breasts. Never mind that director and screenwriter Gerard Soeteman apparently spent 40 years researching the historical facts that serve as its basis—the damn thing is entertaining enough for the multiplexes. Carice van Houten plays a brave Jewish woman who refuses to die. After the Nazi bastards wipe out her family, she joins the resistance, bleaches her pubic hair, infiltrates Sicherheitsdienst headquarters and seduces an officer played by Sebastian Koch (of The Lives of Others). Once again, Verhoeven boldly goes where few, if any, filmmakers have gone before, not least by eschewing the somberness of most Holocaust films and including a sympathetic SS officer and a duplicitous Dutch resistance fighter. The nearly single-minded ambiguity helps Black Book transcend the Hollywood façade and provokes thought. But Verhoeven is such a slick director that the film seems closer to fantasy than reality, which unwittingly trivializes the legacies of the three real-life heroines who inspired the film. MARTIN TSAI. Fox Tower.
Blades of Glory
It's sad to realize that sports parodies, which once mocked formulaic athletic-redemption stories, are now a formula of their own. Take a soft satirical target (figure skating), cast two Frat Packers as the dim rivals who team up (Will Ferrell and Jon Heder as the double-dude pairs skating team) and pander to male obsession with being smacked in the testes. Then count your money. Still, there's no use hating Blades of Glory, even if it's directed by admen Josh Gordon and Will Speck with all the subtlety and grace of a snowball fight. PG-13. AARON MESH. Pioneer Place, Roseway, Eastport, Division, Moreland, Oak Grove, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Hilltop, Sandy, Sherwood, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, Cinetopia, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
*NEW* Coffee Date
Dude goes on a blind date set up by his brother, only to find that his assignation is with...another dude! And so begins director Stewart Wade's obsessively campy, ever-so-knowing comedy of sexual confusion, which attacks homosexual panic with all the subtlety of a burlesque show. It's hard to say which of the movie's stereotypes is less likely: that every straight man in Los Angeles is as terrified of offending the queer population as of being part of it, or that every gay man is mincing and shrill. As soon as the hero's mother flies into town, clad in PFLAG regalia, to aid her son's coming-out party, you know that humor is not a Wade strong suit. Nearly lost in the low-budget hysteria is a winning, heartfelt performance by Wilson Cruz as the possible love interest of the nervous straight man (Jonathan Bray). In a film where every character's destiny is defined solely by sexual orientation, he's the only one with a sense of direction. R. AARON MESH. Hollywood Theatre.
Darius Goes West
Best Documentary at WW's Longbaugh Film Festival! Made two years ago, when subject Darius Weems was 15, the documentary chronicles the teenager's cross-country journey—his first trip outside Athens, Ga., where he lives with his mother in public housing. What separates Weems from so many other teens is Duchenne muscular dystrophy, which has stuck him in a wheelchair for the remainder of his young life. Despite the subject matter, Darius Goes West is not a depressing, disease-of-the-week movie. In fact, if anything, the film is an amazing celebration of life. DAVID WALKER. Living Room Theaters.
Disturbia
A bored teen on house arrest (Shia LaBeouf) spies on his neighbors and finds out more than he wanted to know in this remake of Rear Window. But where the 1955 original creeped us out with the protagonist's own voyeurism as much as by what he uncovered, this Dreamworks production replaces Hitchcock's wit with bubble-gum romance and generic scares. Instead of a broken leg, this time around it's an electronic leg band that keeps the hero house-bound and restless. When a hot new neighbor (Sarah Roemer) moves in, there are some genuinely funny moments as the relationship moves from one-sided obssession to mutual conspiracy. But what might have been an interesting experiment mixing romantic comedy with suspense gets buried in the last half-hour with a stock serial-killer ending. PG-13. JAMES PITKIN. Pioneer Place, Eastport, Oak Grove, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Hilltop, Sandy, Sherwood, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
*NEW* The Doctor's Horrible Experiment
When discussing the famously serious work of legendary French director Jean Renoir, people tend to forget one thing: Like Hitchcock, Renoir had a propensity for goofball antics. Take, for example, The Doctor's Horrible Experiment, Renoir's contemporary take on Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Renoir begins the film in a very Hitchcockian manner—a personal introduction—before launching into the familiar story of Dr. Cordelier (Jean-Louis Barrault), a scientist experimenting with the mysterious and dangerous Mr. Opale. But Opale isn't your run-of-the-mill Mr. Hyde. The dapperly dressed maniac lopes around Paris like a deranged Charlie Chaplin, dancing and clicking his heels as he kicks crutches out from under the handicapped, grabs asses and bludgeons everybody in sight with a cane. When Opale kills a man in the street, his lawyer buddy (Teddy Bilis) grows concerned and starts digging into Cordelier's secrets—which launches into a psychoanalytic explanation (hey, it is 1956) of Cordelier's Horrible Experiment. At once ridiculous, frightening, intriguing and bizarre, this oddity is a pleasure to watch, if only to see a different side of Renoir. AP KRYZA. Living Room Theaters.
Eloquent Nude
[SHORT RUN] Portland director Ian McCluskey's documentary on photographer Edward Weston and model Charis Wilson is brilliant: part archival images, part historical re-enactments filmed in the Oregon countryside, and all of it a meditation on love and loss. The story starts in 1934, when Wilson began modeling for (and sleeping with) the up-and-coming Weston, who was 48. She helped transform his photographs, but it took more than a half-century for a local filmmaker to turn the lights on Weston's muse again. AARON MESH. Cinema 21.
Firehouse Dog
There's this dog. He lives in a firehouse. Yeah, it wasn't screened for critics. PG. Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Division, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Hilltop, Sandy, Sherwood, Tigard Cinemas, Cinema 99.
*NEW* Fracture
What fun: a suspense procedural in which the characters develop, instead of merely contorting in a third-act twist. Well, at least one of them does. Anthony Hopkins' wife-murdering businessman just provides the actor with another tour of the Lecter circuit, this time adding a Scottish brogue to the cold-eyed menace. But Ryan Gosling does some dramatic heavy lifting as Willy Beachum, a cocky prosecutor who misjudges the Hopkins trial as one last mindless chore to perform before moving to a fancier office. As a Southern golden boy confronted by an astonishing series of failures, Gosling shows that he can put those Half Nelson chops to studio use (and that casting directors for The Peyton Manning Story need look no further). Director Gregory Hoblit (Primal Fear) doesn't reinvent the legal genre, but he toys deftly with audience sympathies, and lets his story play out at an elegant pace. For once, there's order in the court. R. AARON MESH. Pioneer Place, Eastport, Division, Oak Grove, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Hilltop, Sandy, Sherwood, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, Cinetopia, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
*NEW* Gloomy Sunday
Easily the most depressing ménage á trois movie ever made, although perhaps the misery should be expected, considering the source material: the "Hungarian Suicide Song," which reportedly drove a good number of Europeans to untimely deaths in the 1930s. (A website describes the tune, also called "Gloomy Sunday," as boasting lyrics of "crushing hopelessness and bitter despair." It was not a popular dance number.) This 1999 German drama reimagines the song as the product of two Budapest men loving the same ravishing woman (Erika Marozsàn). They have a restaurant, a piano and quite a number of corpses on their consciences. And that's the happy part of the movie. Then the Nazis show up. Rolf Schübel's film has its virtues—Marozsàn's beauty, for one, and a refusal to be sentimental or evasive—but it's a serious drag to sit through. The song is pretty, though. AARON MESH. Living Room Theaters.
Grindhouse
Let no one question Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez in their dedication to excess. At its very best, their double feature inspires giggles of astonishment—delighted wonder at the idea that anybody would take a spectacle so far. Most of these gasps come during Planet Terror, Rodriguez's zombie half of the bill and a movie that—like any good horror heroine—keeps going places it shouldn't. Tarantino's entry, Death Proof, is a far more restrained affair (as long as anything in which a woman receives a face lift from a spinning car tire can be described as "restrained"), but it contains several instances of Quentin doing what Quentin does best: splicing his images of human movement with pop music to create a kinetic sensation that spreads to the audience. This tribute to drive-in cheapies is being talked about as if it were some kind of revolution—the triumph of the swill—but here's the catch: In Pulp Fiction and Sin City, Tarantino and Rodriguez used the things their favorite schlock did best; in Grindhouse, they also pay homage to what those old movies did worst. R. AARON MESH. Broadway, St. Johns Twin Cinema-Pub, Eastport, Cinemagic, Cedar Hills, Cornelius.
The Hoax
How does a second-rate novelist expect to convince the literary world that he has exclusive rights to the biography of Howard Hughes? "He's a reclusive lunatic," Clifford Irving explains, "and I'm the spokesman for the reclusive lunatic. The more outrageous I sound, the more convincing I am!" In a pleasantly brazen performance by Richard Gere, Irving wields the image of Hughes like a cleric with his god—awing the laity of McGraw-Hill Publishing with forged memos, intermediated tirades and a literal deus ex machina employing a helicopter. The editors respond with the panting credulity of the faithful at Fatima or Medjugorje. The real miracle on hand, however, is that Lasse Hallström has directed his first decent picture since What's Eating Gilbert Grape in 1993. Until it grows overburdened with conscience at the end, The Hoax is a lithe caper that captures the sweet sorrow of parting a fool and his money. (Hope Davis strikes all the right greedy notes as the chief dupe, while Alfred Molina is uproariously clammy as Irving's accomplice.) It may be based on a true story, but the more outrageous it gets, the more entertaining it is. R. AARON MESH. Fox Tower, Hollywood Theatre.
The Hole Story
Despite the freezing temperatures that leave the thousands of lakes in Minnesota frozen every winter, North Long Lake in the town of Brainerd has at its center a huge hole that refuse to freeze over. There is no known explanation for this phenomenon that defies the laws of nature, which is exactly what captures the attention of a television crew. But things don't go as planned, resulting in a chain of events that is both comedic and tragic. A big hit at the 2006 Longbaugh Film Festival. DAVID WALKER. Living Room Theaters.
The Holy Mountain
[SHORT RUN] More Alejandro Jodorowsky wierdness: This time a Christ figure meets characters with names like "She whose planet is Mars" and "He whose planet is Uranus." And they travel to...you guessed it. Clinton Street Theater. Friday-Thursday, April 20-26.
The Host
A South Korean art film with monsters! Awesome. When toxic chemicals dumped into the Han River produce a gigantic mutated river creature, things go badly for the people of Seoul—especially for one family whose patriarch and his layabout son work at a waterfront snack shop. The monster nabs the layabout's teenage daughter as lunch to go, and the family bands together (sort of, while bickering) to rescue her. Like any B-movie worth its slime, The Host is full of pointed commentary and outrageously dumb human behavior. Best of all is how smoothly director Bong Joon-ho takes the mood from hilarious to poignant and back. R. BECKY OHLSEN. Fox Tower.
*NEW* In the Land of Women
Feeling blue after his French girlfriend dumps him, L.A. screenwriter manqué Carter (Adam Brody) flees to the Michigan suburbs to tend to his ailing grandmother (Olympia Dukakis) and his broken heart, not necessarily in that order. There he meets fetching mother-daughter combo Meg Ryan and Kristen Stewart, goes for long walks listening to their trials, and receives pungent wisdom from Dukakis: "I'll be dead soon. You'll still be alive. Stop feeling sorry for yourself." Rookie director Jonathan Kasdan, trying out dad Lawrence's chair, follows Grandma's advice and keeps the 20-something self-pity to a minimum. The movie is still a certain variety of male fantasy: Brody plays a nice, contemplative kid who is routinely confronted by attractive women who want to kiss him. (He should thank whatever gods there be for his unconquerable menschiness.) But this is an inoffensive, even endearing fantasy, especially when Kasdan is surrounded by colleagues whose only use for women is to tear them limb from limb. PG-13. AARON MESH. Pioneer Place, Eastport, Division, Oak Grove, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Hilltop, Sandy, Sherwood, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, City Center.
Into Great Silence
[SHORT RUN] The cinematic equivalent of those Stuart Dempster recordings of trombones played in a cistern: Bells clamor and clangor, and robed monks roam the corridors of an Alpine monastery, chanting Latin prayers in candlelit ceremonies. Documentary filmmaker Philip Gröning strives to impart a sense of religious mystery, yet seldom transcends tedium. N.P. THOMPSON. Cinema 21.
*NEW* Invisible Children
[SHORT RUN] A trio of 20-something, untroubled, lackadaisical jack-offs find themselves out of school, bored and wanting to do something with their lives. With cameras and equipment acquired via eBay, they travel to Uganda, a poverty-stricken African nation ravaged by war. Twenty minutes into the documentary, you begin to wonder if the American trend of exploitation will ever cease. Interviews with Ugandan children primarily focus on their displacement and the rebel army that abducts and brainwashes them into becoming murderers. However, the footage lacks informed content, knowledge and historical background. Invisible Children is an attempt to raise awareness of the injustices that prevail over Uganda and its people, but it falls short of depth. ELIANNA BAR-EL. Cinema 21, Living Room Theaters, Laurelhurst Theater. Screenings benefit the Displace Me campaign, which works to publicize the plight of Ugandan refugees.
*NEW* Jackpot Records Film Festival
[SHORT RUN] This year's lineup of concert documentaries started Monday and finishes Friday with its indisputable highlight: footage of reclusive performer Jandek playing Portland, shot by local auteur Matt McCormick. Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Wednesday-Friday, April 18-20. Free.
*NEW* Killer Ladies: Film Noir
[SHORT RUN] The NW Film Center presents more of the violent femmes. This time it's Fritz Lang's The Woman in the Window, and the deadly doings of Barbara Stanwyck in Double Indemnity. AARON MESH. Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park Ave., 221-1156. Woman in the Window screens at 9 pm Friday, April 20, and 9:15 pm Saturday, April 21. Double Indemnity screens at 7 pm Friday, April 20, and 7 pm Sunday, April 22. $4-$7.
Late Night Shopping
Slacker Brits work the night shift, talk, drink coffee. Think Kicking and Screaming, with accents. Living Room Theaters.
*NEW* Lit Up
[ONE NIGHT ONLY] An extremely DIY ode to the pleasures of marijuana, Lit Up makes its hometown premiere on April 20. (Get it? 4/20? Do you get it, man?) This is about the level of every joke in this collaboration of Willamette University grads that follows two dudes who really want some weed and falafels. One has lady troubles—that he has a lady is more remarkable—while the other has a prodigious capacity to wet himself. Most of the tokes are pretty unfunny, and I was not amused by a character using a Willamette Week box as a trashcan for his 40 of Olde English. I was, on the other hand, delighted by the same character humping a Mercury box while yelling about titties—a fine example of screwing the competition. And the most impressive thing about Lit Up? It was made for $1,000, it centers on a kid who pisses his pants, and it's still far superior to Nick Lyon's Punk Love. AARON MESH. Bagdad Theater. 10 pm Friday, April 20. $4.20.
The Lives of Others
Gerd Wiesler (Ulrich Mühe) works for the Stasi, East Germany's secret police. It's 1984, five years before the Berlin Wall crumbles, but despite the corruption around him, Wiesler remains committed to the cause—until he sees a production by one of East Germany's few loyal playwrights, rising star Georg Dreyman (Sebastian Koch), and instantly becomes entranced by Dreyman's leading lady (Martina Gedeck). When Wiesler is ordered to spy on the couple, the once-robotic Stasi operative is tested beyond imagining. The film, written and directed by Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck and winner of the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film, is most memorable as a study of a lonely untermensch, exploited and broken by the system he's devoted his life to preserving. R. BECKY OHLSEN. Fox Tower, St. Johns Twin Cinema-Pub, Hollywood Theatre, Lake Twin, Tigard-Joy.
The Lookout
Chris, the understandably depressed hero played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt in The Lookout, emerged from the twisted metal of a high-school joyride with a permanent case of Movie Head Trauma. Which means he is exactly as incapacitated or capable as the plot requires at any given moment. His new buddies, a collection of robbers and strippers who are not apparently familiar with the symptoms of Movie Head Trauma, decide that the addled kid mopping the bank floors will make the perfect addition to their gang. Director Scott Frank's first movie isn't too insufferable as crime exercises go, but it tosses two reasonably enjoyable performances (Jeff Daniels steals scenes as a blind mentor) into a generic machine. R. AARON MESH. Broadway, Hollywood Theatre, Tigard Cinemas.
*NEW* Making Children Visible
Not to be confused with Invisible Children, this Big Brothers Big Sisters event features a screening of Edgar Barens' A Sentence of Their Own, which examines the lives of a family whose father is in prison, and follows the movie with a panel discussion of the children of incarcerated parents. Hollywood Theatre. 2 pm Saturday, April 21.
*NEW* Maria Tallchief
This 57-minute documentary about the life and accomplishments of Tallchief, America's first prima ballerina and the second wife of George Balanchine, is pleasant enough, but suffers from unfortunate editing. Case in point: A fellow member of the Osage, Tallchief's tribe, explains that he was "told never to dance half-hearted," over footage of bored-looking, present-day teenagers shuffling along in beads and feathers. Despite lengthy interviews with Tallchief and friends, the movie, presented by NW Film Center, leaves little impression of the woman's personality. Though it's evident she played an important role in the development of American dance, it would be much more satisfying to just watch the archival footage of her dancing, unaccompanied by tittering commentary from friends and admirers. BEN WATERHOUSE. Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park Ave., 221-1156. 7 pm Saturday, April 21. $4-$7.
Meet the Robinsons
This should be prescribed 3-D therapy for anyone suffering post-traumatic stress disorder after dodging Michael Jackson's creepy-fingers in Disney's 1986 futuristic film Captain EO. Based on the story by William Joyce, Meet the Robinsons concerns Wilbur, a young orphan-genius who has to invent his way out of intrigue spanning the space-time continuum. The incredible Tyrannosaurus chase scene, hilarious characters and phenomenal animation are just what the doctor ordered. G. KYLE CASSIDY. Eastport, Division, Oak Grove, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Hilltop, Lake Twin, Sandy, Sherwood, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
The Namesake
Mira Nair's adaptation of Jhumpa Lahiri's novel spans the life of Ashoke (Irfan Khan) and his arranged marriage to Ashima (Tabu), a young girl in India. After immigrating to New York City, they have a son and, to his and everyone else's chagrin, name him Gogol. The grown-up version of the oddly dubbed child is played by a surprisingly mature Kal Penn, who gradually sheds his token stoner-dude persona (á la Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle) and finds a deeper, softer character as a young Bengali American battling with his family name and traditions. PG-13. ELIANNA BAR-EL. Fox Tower, Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Cedar Hills, Cinetopia, City Center.
*NEW* The Nine Lives of Tomas Katz
Mere words are not enough to describe Ben Hopkins' wildly bizarre and surreal cinematic experience. Shot in stark black-and-white, this is an absurdist nightmare of mistaken identities. Evoking memories of the strange celluloid worlds of Eraserhead-era David Lynch, Monty Python and just about any other filmmaker that has left audiences perplexed, this film is sure to spark heated debate. The plot revolves around a mysterious stranger (Tom Fisher) who wanders the streets of London, taking over the bodies of people he encounters along the way while the end of the world looms in the immediate future—or something like that. DAVID WALKER. Living Room Theaters.
Old Joy
Filmed in and around Portland, Old Joy is a meditative portrait of a friendship gone beyond a crossroads. Will Oldham and Daniel London star as two lifelong friends who reunite for a camping trip, only to face the emotional turmoil and conflict that has arisen from the divergent paths they have taken in life, and the different people they have grown up to become. DAVID WALKER. Living Room Theaters.
Pan's Labyrinth
There's no mistaking Guillermo del Toro's monsters for those hiding under any other bed. In The Devil's Backbone and Hellboy, the Mexican director honed a distinctive species of wraiths—and in Pan's Labyrinth, his latest, best work, the beasties are clawing out of the woodwork. Ofelia, the movie's intrepid 12-year-old heroine, is warned that one of the creatures she must confront "is not human." Considering the humans Ofelia has already met in the Spain of 1944, a year when Francisco Franco was squeezing the life out of his people, "not human" is quite the compliment. More than any other director, del Toro recognizes the brutality and madness lurking within the true believer. R. AARON MESH. Fox Tower.
Pathfinder
Based on the Dark Horse comic, Pathfinder is the story of a young Viking boy named Ghost who is orphaned in the New World and raised by a peaceful tribe of Indians. Years later, when the village is slain by savage Viking raiders, Ghost (Karl Urban, the dude with the unibrow and horse in Lord of the Rings) goes on a hack-and-slash, slow-motion killing spree that combines all the lamest elements of Apocalypto, 300, Conan the Barbarian and other much better movies. Director Marcus Nispel, the butthole who helmed the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, keeps his eye trained on the carnage. Trouble is, even hardcore gorehounds will quickly grow tired of the hackneyed script, underwhelming action and choppy editing. Urban has about as much charisma as a rock, and there's just not much fun to be had watching him decapitate evil Vikings and issue fake CGI blood sprays into the air. R. AP KRYZA. Broadway, Eastport, Division, Cedar Hills, Sherwood, Cinetopia.
The Reaping
Just in time for Easter, Hilary Swank takes on the Old Testament for 10 rounds—or, more precisely, plagues. Sadly, Clint Eastwood does not play God. When 10 biblical plagues hit Haven, a picturesque Louisiana backwater burg, it's up to minister-turned-miracle debunker Swank to find the logical explanation. From there, The Reaping follows a pretty standard scary-movie arc. But predictability aside, you can't argue with rivers of blood, locust swarms and Deep South vigilante justice. PG-13. ETHAN SMITH. Lloyd Mall, Eastport, Division, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Sandy, Tigard Cinemas, Cinema 99, Vancouver Plaza.
Shooter
Boy, director Antoine Fuqua sure has a nose for conspiracies. He has made a movie claiming that everything bad that happens in the world—yes, everything—is the fault of a cabal of oil-hungry D.C. operatives. Fortunately for the world, Mark Wahlberg is Bob Lee Swagger, one of four people in existence who can blow a guy's head off from a mile away. When Swagger is framed in a presidential assassination attempt, he takes it upon himself to blow a lot of heads off. Essentially a call for vigilantism against the Bush administration (with Ned Beatty doing his meanest Cheney), Shooter is saved from being unforgivably seditious only by being unfathomably stupid. R. AARON MESH. Broadway, Lloyd Cinema, Eastport, Division, Oak Grove, Cedar Hills, Cinetopia, City Center, Wednesday-Thursday only.
TMNT
Cowabunga! The Turtles are back and better than ever! I would have preferred a live-action version with a darker tone where Leonardo actually cut people with his katanas. But since this is a franchise built for children, Imagi Studio's version of the half-shelled ninjas is pretty damn good. My only complaint is there isn't enough nunchaku action from Mikey. What the chuck? PG. NATE SMITH. Lloyd Mall, Eastport, 99 West Drive-in.
*NEW* The Tripper
[SHORT RUN] David Arquette directs the tale of a Reagan impersonator who travels into the redwoods for one reason: to kill hippies. While this paper does not endorse killing hippies, we're still enormously disappointed that this wasn't screened for critics. Clinton Street Theater. Friday-Thursday April 20-26.
*NEW* Vacancy
Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale are trapped in a deadly motel...without cable! Look for review on WWire at wweek.com. R. Pioneer Place, Eastport, Division, Oak Grove, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Hilltop, Sherwood, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, City Center, Vancouver Plaza.
Where's Molly?
When Jeff Daly was 6 years old, his younger sister, Molly, just shy of her third birthday, was taken away. In the mid-'50s, in the small town of Astoria, Ore., it was a disgrace to have a child anything short of perfect. Molly wasn't perfect. Where's Molly? is a poignant documentary recounting a half-century of time lost between a brother and a sister, and the measures taken to ensure this kind of story never has to be told again. ELIANNA BAR-EL. Living Room Theaters.
Wild Hogs
Old buddies John Travolta, William H. Macy, Martin Lawrence and Tim Allen abandon their middle-aged, suburban lives to embark on a motorcycle journey across America. Adventure ensues, and along with it jokes about poop, man love and blunt objects to the testes. PG-13. MIKE THELIN. Division, Forest, Hilltop, Sherwood, Wilsonville, Cinema 99, Vancouver Plaza.
*NEW* Wild Tigers I Have Known
Imagine Rebel Without a Cause as directed by Gus Van Sant with Jared Leto and JT Leroy as James Dean and Sal Mineo, and you'll (sort of) start getting the drifting coming-of-age message behind the evocative-looking Wild Tigers I Have Known. The Gus comparison is an easy one because he's the executive producer behind this film marking the directorial debut of Cam Archer. Shot to look like it was made from inside the mixed-up head of its protagonist—a sexually ambiguous 13-year-old boy-girl named Logan (played by Malcolm Stumpf who, incidentally, played Madonna's son in the dreadful The Next Best Thing)—it features lots of disconnected vignettes shot in various formats that don't really make sense to anyone but the filmmaker. There are moments when the film connects with its audience—like when Logan finally confronts the mountain lion that has been terrorizing his school or when he dreams of killing a gym full of fellow students. But overall the film has the same effect as a really good Calvin Klein fragrance commercial. Watch out for a great performance by an underused Fairuza Balk as Logan's mother. BYRON BECK. Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park Ave., 221-1156. 7 pm Thursday, April 19, and 4:30 pm Sunday, April 22. $4-$7.
Yasmin
Caught between two cultures, Yasmin (Archie Panjabi), a Pakistani Muslim raised in England, spends much of her time trying to fit into British culture while spurning her heritage. But everything takes a dramatic turn after 9/11, when suddenly the culture and religion Yasmin has spent her life trying to deny become the only things she can turn to. With an intense script by Simon Beaufoy and a powerful performance by Panjabi, Yasmin is a thought-provoking portrait of one family's transformation. DAVID WALKER. Living Room Theaters.
