BY JOVE, SHE GOT BOOBIES! Bad Dates at Portland Center Stage. IMAGE: Owen Carey

STAGE

As the Knife Turns

A "murder-mystery cocktail party" designed for those of us who can't afford $65-a-plate dinner theater. Ferris Wheel Productions at The Blue Dragonfly, 1195 SE Powell Blvd., 616-4791. 6:30 pm Saturdays. Closes May 12. $12-$15.

Bad Dates

You've seen most of this one-woman show before: A single mom who runs a New York restaurant tries to get back into the dating game and—surprise!—has a series of miserable experiences. Fortunately for Portland, Carol Halstead tackles the role with gusto, turning what would otherwise be a tiresome 90 minutes of costume changes and man-hating into a pleasant enough evening filled with more laughs and joy than this script has any right to produce. BEN WATERHOUSE. Portland Center Stage at the Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. Noon Thursdays, 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays. 2 and 7:30 pm Sunday, May 6. Closes June 3. $16.50-$41.50.

Beyond the Fringe

[CLOSES SATURDAY] An ensemble of five actors poorly present hurried gags, pointless pratfalls and bogus British dialects. There are humorous moments among the 11 skits, including cast member Nation's shining Shakespearean finale, but it all doesn't add up. WAYNE BUND. Crimson Theater, 700 NE Dekum St., 367-2100. 8 pm Friday-Saturday. Closes May 5. $10.

Extremities

[CLOSES SUNDAY] If you haven't yet met your quota for brutal plays about rape and torture this season, this one will do it: When Marjorie manages to turn the tables on her would-be rapist, Raul, she and her housemates face some difficult questions. Do they kill him outright? Turn him over to the law? Move across the country and change their names? Though well-performed, this promising first effort from a new company is so frightening and traumatic that the sort of theatergoer who thought Portland Center Stage's The Pillowman was excessive would be better off staying away. BEN WATERHOUSE. New Group Theatre Company at Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 283-5649. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, 2 pm Sunday. Closes May 6. $12-$15.

Fences

[CLOSES SUNDAY] Enormous and terrifying, Wendell Wright brings refreshing musicality to the role of Troy Maxson, a failed baseball player determined to crush the dreams of his sons to protect them from his own bitter disappointment. The rest of the cast does an admirable job trying to keep up with his larger-than-life theatrics, but even Wright is overshadowed by Scott Bradley's remarkably beautiful set. BEN WATERHOUSE. Portland Center Stage at the Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Friday, noon Thursday, 2 and 7:30 pm Saturday, 2 pm Sunday. Closes May 6. $16.50-$59.50.

Flawed Genius

[OPENS FRIDAY] Piano-playing British clown Barnaby King presents his solo show about self-loathing and cosmic ennui. Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th Ave., 971-212-2554, May 4-5. Performance Works Northwest, 4625 SE 67th Ave., 777-1907, May 11-12. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays. Opens May 4. $10.

Grease

[EXTENDED RUN] Kirk Mouser's hugely successful, geriatric production of the high-school classic returns for seven more weeks. Stumptown Stages at the World Trade Center Theatre, 121 SW Salmon St., stumptownstages.com. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays. Opens May 4. $22-$27.

High School Musical

[OPENS FRIDAY] The Disney Channel movie-cum-Broadway phenomenon comes to town. Blue Monkey Theater Company at the West End Theater, 1220 SW Taylor St., 777-4506. 7 pm Fridays, 2 and 7 pm Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Opens May 4. $16-$20.

In Apparati

[NEW REVIEW] This ominous and provocative world premiere by defunkt's artistic director, James Moore, has everything you could ask for in a defunkt production: bizarre costumes; inexplicable, slow-mo dance routines; clever dialogue; and a pervasive sense of impending doom. Borrowing from Orwell, Dick and recent front-page headlines, the play follows four prisoners, held interminably for unspecified acts of subversion, through menacing confrontations with the guards, inane conversations in the yard, and the slow onset of madness. A finely designed show with an excellent, all-volunteer ensemble, in apparati is a provocative and surprisingly humorous must-see. BEN WATERHOUSE. Defunkt theatre at the Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 481-2960. 8 pm Thursdays-Sundays. Closes May 26. $10-$15, Thursdays and Sundays are "pay what you will."

A Lesson from Aloes

[OPENS FRIDAY] Third Rail is back, this time with Athol Fugard's tense mystery about life under apartheid. Third Rail Repertory Theater at the Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center, 5340 N Interstate Ave., 235-1101. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Opens May 4. $15-$24.

The Liar's Club

[NEW REVIEW] Melanya Helene, co-director of The Liar's Club (also directed by Scott Kelman, a final jaunt before his death last February), greeted the audience with a few curious words opening night, among them: "Sit back and enjoy the bullshit." Three actors and two actresses envelop the stage for the next two hours, performing five disconnected monologues back-to-back. The first half crackled with honesty (Frank Engle as a bitter bridge attendant, hell-bent to salvage the life he led prior to relinquishing his days to the constant uproar of traffic on Burnside) and dark humor (Melanie Harmon plays a righteous, prize-winning baton thrower who reveals her "'ton skills" are fixed with a magical connection to the Lord.) Although well-written and thoughtfully performed, each piece clocks in at 25 minutes, and toward the fourth personality shift, the experimental subject matter begins to take a mind-numbing toll. Cast members on the sidelines perk up the crowd, feigning background noise, musical riffs and cars whizzing by. But the whole of the play lacks an overall cohesive focus. The Liar's Club, while an intriguing notion, disappointingly offers no correlation to the actual show, save for a floating concept that all performance is, in essence, a lie. ELIANNA BAR-EL. The Brooklyn Bay, 1825 SE Franklin St., Bay K, 722-4005. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays. Opens April 27. $12-$15.

Macbeth

[OPENS FRIDAY] Bubbling cauldrons, roving forests and severed heads in the uncomfortably intimate Shoebox Theater. Can such things be? Northwest Classical Theatre Company at the Shoebox Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 262-5503. 7 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes June 3. $12-$18.

The Man Who Came to Dinner

[OPENS FRIDAY] A Hollywood bigwig breaks his hip on the Stanleys' doorstep and moves into the spare bedroom. Then the penguins, cockroaches and mummies start to show up. Gresham Little Theater, 30639 SE Bluff Road, Gresham, 267-2750. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays. Opens May 4. $8-$10.

My Matisse

The life of Henri Matisse, told through the eyes of seven women who knew him, all played by Sandi Milne. CoHo Productions at the CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 220-2646. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes June 2. $20-$23.

Oklahoma!

Corn as high as an elephant's eye, etc. Dan Murphy directs. Lakewood Theatre Company at Lakewood Center for the Arts. 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 7 pm Sundays, 2 pm May 6 and 27, June 3 and 10. Closes June 10. $26-$28.

The Red Badge of Courage

[OPENS SATURDAY] We've been inflicting Stephen Crane's terrifying story of the Civil War on unsuspecting kids for generations. Now it's onstage, directed by Andrés Alcalá. Oregon Children's Theatre at the Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 228-9571. 2 and 7:30 pm Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Opens May 5. $18-$23.

Repeat After Me

[EXTENDED RUN] It's hard to find words that do Hand2Mouth Theatre's manic pageant of karaoke Americana justice: "Fucking amazing" works, as does "whaaa?" The show ain't perfect by any means—how many onstage emotional breakdowns do you need, anyway?—but it is riotously funny, unabashedly bizarre, and unlike anything else you'll see in town this season. BEN WATERHOUSE. Hand2Mouth Theatre at Goldsmith Performance Lab, 20 NW 5th Ave., 235-5284. 8 pm Friday-Saturday. Closes May 5. $10-$15.

Swiss Family Robinson

[OPENS FRIDAY] Meet the Robinson family. They're shipwrecked on a tropical island! They live in a treehouse! They fight pirates! Arr! Northwest Children's Theater and School at the NW Neighborhood Cultural Center, 1819 NW Everett St., 222-4480. 7 pm Fridays, 2 and 7 pm Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Opens May 4. $16-$20.

They Came from Way Out There

This Close Encounters-themed musical revue is pure camp, a poorly thought-out series of loosely related songs about UFOs, past lives, and other assorted pop-culture weirdness. BEN WATERHOUSE. Artists Repertory Theatre Second Stage, 1516 SW Alder St., 241-1278. 7 pm Tuesdays-Thursdays, 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 and 7 pm Sundays. Closes May 27. $15-$42.50.

Thinking Outside My Box

[OPENS FRIDAY] A one-woman show by Ritah Parrish. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St. 11 pm Fridays-Saturdays. Opens May 4. $12.

Who Stole My Dead Husband?

[EXTENDED RUN] Lou Pallotta's comedy about growing up Italian-American continues through April. Madison's East Wing, 1125 SE Madison St., 1-800-966-8865. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays. Closes June 28. $57-$67, includes dinner.

CLASSICAL

Così Fan Tutte

[NEW REVIEW] Opera star turned stage director Tito Capobianco turns up the misogynistic machinations of Mozart's classic opera buffa in an uneven student production at Portland State University. Instead of directing an opera about living, breathing people, he's staged a series of attractive tableaux with heartless characters on a pretty set (Carey Wong, set designer). The most promising student singers were Jacqueline Shoda-Iwasaki's gentle Fiordiligi and Chelsea Watts' tart Dorabella: their voices were well-matched, big and vibrant, if not especially agile or accurate. Michael Miersma also impressed as a Guglielmo with keen comic timing. Ken Selden, PSU's new orchestra conductor, coaxed a lithe performance from his student orchestra, working hard to keep singers and players on the same page. STEPHEN MARC BEAUDOIN. Lincoln Performance Hall, 1620 SW Park Ave., 725-3307. 7:30 pm Friday, 3 pm Sunday, April 27 and 29. $12-$25.

Young Romantics

Monica Huggett directs the Portland Baroque Orchestra—beefed up to 26 instruments for the program. First Baptist Church, 909 SW 11th Ave., 222-6000. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, May 4-5. $15-$39; Kaul Auditorium at Reed College, 3203 SE Woodstock Blvd., 222-6000. 4 pm Sunday, May 6. $15-$39.

Cinco de Bruckner

Portland Columbia Symphony Orchestra closes out their 25th anniversary season pairing Bruckner's mighty Symphony No. 5 in B Flat Major with J.S. Bach's Concerto for Oboe and Violin in C Minor, with Orchestra concertmaster Dawn Carter and oboist Brad Hochhalter as soloists. First United Methodist Church, 1838 SW Jefferson St., 234-4077. 8 pm Friday, May 4. $5-$25.

Oregon Chamber Players

Oregon has voted. Or at least the OCP audience has, and they've selected four satisfyingly varied works for this chamber group's season-ending concert: Albinoni's Adagio in G Minor, the Louis XIV Suite by Couperin, Prokofiev's Gavotte, Op. 12, #2, and a Haydn symphony, the eighth, also known as Le Soir. All Saints Episcopal Church, 4033 SE Woodstock Blvd., 1-888-627-8788. 7:30 pm Saturday, May 5. $12-$15.

Hearing the Future

Celebrating their 10th anniversary of training the next generation of John Coriglianos and Jennifer Higdons, Fear No Music presents an annual concert of new music from these young masters, promising aural adventures and maybe, just maybe, a glimpse at what could have been if you hadn't given up the viola so quickly. Lincoln Hall, Room 75, at Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 335-3386. 2:30 pm Sunday, May 6. $10-$15.

Joan Szymko: New Works for Women's Voices

Portland-based Joan Szymko's choral works extend far beyond the Northwest, and are programmed regularly by ensembles around the country and the world. At her best, her writing for voices is tasteful, tuneful and happily accessible. She presents a concert of her own compositions: some new, some not. Salmon Street Sanctuary, 1011 SW 12th Ave., 777-6754. 7:30 pm Sunday, May 6. $10.

Intense and Powerful

If there's one thing I hope incoming Oregon Symphony prez Elaine Calder does when she officially takes the reins, it's re-thinking the tenuous, cutesy program names the Symphony feels compelled to attach to their music (Sweet and Sly, Different Every Time, the especially ingratiating Fun and Dancing.) Or if you're going to continue to offer stupid program names, why not let the audience make them up? For this weekend's program of Shostakovich Symphony No. 8, Schumann Cello Concerto with floppy-hair hottie Alban Gerhardt and the Scriabin Reverie, all conducted by Carlos Kalmar, how about Hot or Not? (Which could allude to the varying degrees of hotness of the conductor and soloist, or to the pieces on the program; the audience could text in their votes to the Symphony! The winner could be crowned Symphony Idol! Talk about innovative!) Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 245-4885. 7:30 pm Saturday-Sunday, May 5-6. $20-$88.

DANCE

Avian Fable

Dancer/choreographer Suniti Dernovsek and visual artist David Stein have concocted a new dance-theater work filled with painterly images, bazaar antiquity and 100 stuffed birds in this, their Portland debut. Using mask work, dance and an ambitious-sounding set boasting rolling hills and mounds of flowers, Avian Fable is a new, wholly Portland-grown work, with contributions from designer Selene Chavez, musician Elias Foley, and performers Daniel Addy, Kelly Anderson, Jessica Burton, Aurora Erlander-Miller and Dernovsek herself. Firehouse Theatre, 1346 SW Montgomery St., 913-8959. 8 pm Thursday-Sunday, May 3-6. $13-$15.

Eyes On You

See review, right. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 222-5538. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Saturday, May 2-5; 2 pm Saturday May 5. $16-$105.

Describing The Line

Portland dancer-choreographer Faith Hunt Levine says her dance is "rooted in political frustration and peppered with hope for self and community empowerment." Her corps includes Laura Nash, Esther LaPointe, Amber Baker, Cedar Levine, Flora Acosta, Beth Rankin, Taryn Johnson and Kate Burton. Performance Works Northwest, 4625 SE 67th St., 801-583-3052. 8 pm Friday-Sunday, May 4-5. $8-$15.

Blue Sky Benefit Concerts

More than two-dozen featured dancemakers or companies appear in this annual Northwest dancer/choreographer showcase from Dance Coalition of Oregon. Friday is "Cabaret Night," hosted by Rick Huddle and Robyn Conroy; Sunday's featured artists include Jennifer Camp, Luciana Proaño and the Labyrinth Collective; but Saturday's the real winning night, with eccentric dance goddess Mizu Desierto, Sonya Duffin's promising Pure Dance Company and the celebrated Sahomi Tachibana, a living legend of traditional Japanese dance. Conduit Studios, 918 SW Yamhill St., 293-6195. 7:30 pm Friday-Sunday, May 4-6. $5-$15.

Reed College Dance Concert

Reed dance department students perform new dances by students and faculty in this year-end concert. Someone there is getting the message about the importance of live music to contemporary dance: musical selections include Prokofiev works performed by the Reed Orchestra and Brahms songs sung by members of their Collegium Musicum. Kaul Auditorim at Reed College, 3203 SE Woodstock Blvd., 777-7755. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, May 4-5. $1-$4.

Pillars of Illusion

A forest of crutches: That's what choreographer Alito Alessi envisions as part of this new work for his Joint Forces Dance Company. Alessi, something of a specialist in all-inclusive dance, puts dancers of varying mobilities together onstage to see what happens when bodies, wheelchairs and crutches crash up against each other and, more importantly, when limits are tested and broken. With live music by top-notch local jazzers, including Mike Van Liew (Kamikaze Ground Crew, Do Jump!). Lane Community College Performance Hall, 4000 E. 30th Ave., Eugene, 541-870-6563. 2 pm Saturday, May 5 and 7 pm Sunday, May 6. $10-$20.

p:ear Blossoms V: Moving Forward

"Fucking awesome" is how p:ear program director Pippa Arend describes her org's fifth annual performance soiree and fundraiser. And she's right: Ten Tiny Dances founder Mike Barber—that marvelous maven of minuscule movement—is on the boards to present some special works on his usual 4-by-4-foot stage, and you can sip Chablis and enjoy nibbles from Pazzo Ristorante while supporting one of Portland's best nonprofit youth arts agencies. Really: Do it for the kids. Staver Locomotive Building, 2537 NW 29th Ave., 228-6677. 7 pm Saturday, May 5. $75-$130.