CIRQUE DU SO WEIRD: Batty's Hippodrome, Saturday. IMAGE: makeportlandnormal.com

Thursday Nov. 15

The Martini Glass of God

There's a magical place for lushes, a place where liquor flows like an infinite river from a massive chalice, keeping martinis forever cold. A place where the ghost of Dean Martin would forever stumble, intoxicated from this bounty, spewing forth enough booze to quench the thirsty spirits of Dino, Hunter S. Thompson, Charles Bukowski and Hemingway and still have enough left over for the living. And the real magic of this liver-destroying paradise? It exists for the best of causes. The Original McCormick & Schmick's Seafood Restaurant is hosting its annual BIG Martini Event for the benefit of the Alzheimer's Association. How big is it? An 8-foot-tall martini glass, chainsawed from ice, will be flowing with martinis—bartenders will be dipping into it to serve drinks all night. Along with the inevitable drunken ballyhoo, the event will also feature a $10,000 olive toss, where contestants can make bank by lobbing an olive across the room and into a martini glass, as well as live music and raffle prizes. Oh, and an 8-foot hangover the next day—one that will be well worth the pain. McCormick & Schmick's, 235 SW 1st Ave., 224-7522. 4-11 pm. 21+. Free admission.

Saturday Nov. 17

Beyond Hippodrome: Send in the Clowns

"Keep Portland Weird" has become a bit of a cliché—if everything is weird, doesn't that constitute normality? Maybe we're throwing the word "weird" at things that are just slightly awkward. I mean, how much weirder can Portland get? Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you The Hippodrome, Portland's newest venue, nonstop circus and proof that this city is still the bull-goose looney it claims to be. The Hippodrome, located in the space that formerly housed Loveland, is now Portland's place for jugglers, wild beasts, contortionists, clowns, daredevils, fire-eaters, sword-swallowers, dancers, tightrope-walkers, Alberta Clown House refugees and all manner of performers and freaks. Make no mistake—this isn't a bunch of d-bags doing cartwheels. The Hippodrome is home to world-class performers of all sorts. The venue will host live performances and double as a training center and safe haven for circus folk on the road (much like the bygone Alberta Clown House, only bigger). Hippodrome opens its doors (and tent flaps) with a huge set of performances Saturday. The first event is the family-friendly Victorian Circus Extravaganza, which features dozens of performers, animals...basically everything a circus should have. The second event is a steamier, adults-only performance by Seattle's Pure Cirkus, a "dark circus" group that combines traditional circus tricks with body manipulation and burlesque. After Pure Cirkus, a huge afterparty will ensue, featuring performances by Gypsy Sound System, DJ Global Ruckus and others, as well as some of the strangest conversations you'll probably ever have. Thanks to Hippodrome, Portland can rest secure in its weirdness, and the knowledge that now we don't have to wait for a bunch of pretentious French Cirque folks to get our big-top fix. Now the circus is always in town. Batty's Hippodrome, 315 SE 3rd Ave., 729-1273. Victorian Circus Extravaganza, 8 pm. All ages. Pure Cirkus, 10:30 pm. 18+. Afterparty featuring Gypsy Sound System, Lords of Ethnomesh, DJ Olga and Dr. Schnaps and DJ Global Ruckus. Midnight. 18+. $15 advance, $20 at door. See Headout, page 41, for more info.

The Democratic Circus

Described as A Prairie Home Companion meets The Daily Show, the annual Laugh for Livability event has become something of tradition. Who wouldn't want to see a bunch of politicians (and the people who work for them) take the stage and crack jokes, sing songs and generally risk complete and total embarrassment for a good cause? Presented by the Coalition for a Livable Future, Laugh for Livability turns the tables on comedy—politicians get to offer sharp-tongued political satire instead of being the butts of jokes. Emceed by Metro Councilor Robert Liberty and sexy-voiced multimedia maven Daria O'Neil, the event will feature a bevy of goofball antics. Rep. Carolyn Tomei (D-Milwaukie) is slated to dance the "legislative tango" with real choreography (because we all want to see Reps dance, right?), while various members of the group 1000 Friends of Oregon and surprise guests will be on hand to take a crack at cracking the audience up. Halloween costumes are encouraged, so dust them off. The cocktail-fueled laughter will be paired with musical performance from groups with some sort of political connection. Among the musical acts are Padam Padam (featuring KBOO's Barbara Bernstein), the Ed Sullivan Band (with some lady from Earl Blumenauer's office) and the Grasping Wastrels, a group that includes Metro Councilor Rex Burkholder and Legislative Affairs Manager Randy Tucker. The evening is guaranteed to make you laugh, either from the hilarity of the performers or at their expense. Melody Ballroom, 615 SE Alder St., 294-2889. 7-10 pm. $50.