Getting Settled In

[May 19th, 2004] Holy moly, Gorgonzoli! It's hot in here. I guess I should have gone easier on my "There is no God" bit. Now I've got to do 10 years in the cosmic slammer before I can get on the other side of the Gates. Those people over there need to lighten up. They're too busy and too serious!

It's unfortunate that my sands ran out when they did. I was just coming into my own as a politician. The skeptics were all saying that Portland wasn't ready for a mayor with no clothes on. Then they found out they'd already had one.

Oh, well. Time to get accustomed to my new surroundings. A lot of my old fans are here. We're sweating bullets all the time, but at least we're all naked. And the celebrity meet-and-greets are yowza bowza wowza. I'm going to have lunch with Sam Kinison on Friday. And I ran into John Holmes coming out of the Starbucks over by the thermal plant. (Although geez, he looked tired.)

Everybody in here is obsessed with how much time they've got to wait before their eternity of bliss. Mister Rogers has only a week left. Ken Kesey's due to leave in 2006. The word is that JFK will be getting out around the same time I am. We're lucky--there are quite a few priests who've got over 500 years to go.

Anyhoo, I hope this posting gets through. The whole underworld has Qwest.

Gonna run now. Tonight a few of us are going over to catch Cobain playing a club date at the Limbo. I hear he does a hell of a show (no pun intended). Happy doodles!

-- Posted by Jim at 2:33 am