Great White (haired) Homo

[May 19th, 2004] The secret is out.

Recently it has come to our attention, in the most indelicate of ways, that life behind the golden gates of this city's most influential estates, well, isn't quite as straight and narrow as some folks would love us to believe. In fact, it's as if Portland's rich and famous have traded lives with the characters on some late-night soap opera.

What will we find out next? Another political potboiler? Or will it be something juicier: Perhaps the story of how the son of a beloved local family has bared his booty (and a whole lot more) for the pages of a nudie magazine?

Oh wait, that cat is out of the bag, too.

Rick Dinihanian, of the clan that sold upscale rugs in Oregon for more than 80 years, reveals his assets in black-and-white on the cover--and on the centerfold spread--of the June issue of Playgirl magazine. This wouldn't be such hot gossip if it weren't for a couple of more semi-salacious numbers I'd like to share about this well-proportioned fellow.

You see, Rick doesn't view his newfound exposure as scandalous. In fact, he takes great pride in this honor. Perhaps that's because this outrageously fit (5-foot-10, 160 pounds, and, ahem, 7 inches down there) Grant High grad is turning 55 next Thursday.

Yes, that's right, 55 friggin' years old. As the oldest wanker ever to grace the cover of Playgirl, that makes him some sort of a natural wonder.

Think about it. Most dudes start breaking out in flop sweats at the thought of turning 30. But this silver-haired gent, who is within days of qualifying for his senior discount at Denny's, has the balls to drop trou and show it all--and I mean all. "This is affirmation for every guy over 40 that a vibrant life doesn't stop," says Rick regarding his role as an AARP heartthrob.

Dinihanian is also living proof that older men, specifically gay older men who work out like fiends, are incredibly hot and sexy.

Yeah, that's right. He's gay, too.

Rick doesn't see a problem outing himself as a proud queer, either, even though he's featured on the pages of a magazine that's supposedly for the reading pleasures of straight women. According to Dinihanian, almost half of Playgirl's readers are gay men (which explains my fascination with this magazine back in high school).

This accomplished graphic artist and painter now lives in San Francisco, but he returns home to Oregon several times a year to visit family and friends. Evidence of the supportive family reaction to Rick's naked ambition is younger sister Susan, 50, who joined us on Mother's Day at a Pearl District coffeeshop for our interview.

Susan called her older brother's 10-page magazine layout "great." "And dad was stoked," Rick said.

"I never thought of myself as someone who would be in Playgirl," admits Dinihanian, who just started modeling on a lark two years ago. "But my appearance in [the magazine] puts me in a position to remind Americans that aging is not something to fear or be ashamed of."

Too bad Portland's other dirty secrets aren't as wholesome--and ultimately inspirational--as this.