Jesus Christ, It's Mandonna!

[July 6th, 2005] It's been two decades since the greatest pop diva of all time graced us with Her musical presence. The year: 1985. The place: Paramount (now the Schnitz). The opening band: The hallowed disciples of '80s hip-hop, the Beastie Boys. Now that the ever-morphing Madonna has transformed herself for the umpteenth time from a sex-loving Material Girl to her latest incarnation as a Kabbalah-loving mother of two, it's a safe bet Her Holiness will never perform here again.

But that doesn't mean we can't still hear her music. Thanks to divine intervention (and the simple fact that musicians can make a killing performing as tribute bands), there's a beastly pack of pretty-boys traveling the country in nothing but cone bras and corsets, singing "Like A Virgin," well...like the Virgin One.

All hail Mandonna, the all-male Madonna cover band.

A long-haired beauty with a formidable forehead and a six-inch Son-of-God beard, Edwards looks more Messianic than Madonnaic. Which seems appropriate, considering that he and his seven-piece, San Francisco band are performing what could easily be considered as sacred choral music for queer and queer-friendly crowds.

Although Edwards has a problem acknowledging his age ("I'm thirt-oh, I'm not going to tell you that.") and the fact that he appears to be straight ("I'm here for everyone," he says.), this house hubby-cum-hot rocker has no problem admitting his devotion to Her.

"Madonna was the first concert I ever went to," said Edwards over the phone from his home. "I was 17. I screamed 'I LOVE YOU!' the whole time, even during the quiet parts."

Prior to Mandonna, Edwards was a theater fag, toiling away his junior years in musical theater, including a high-school turn as the narrator Che in Evita. "I did [Evita] before She did," says Edwards. "My director told me to act like a cross between Mick Jagger and a panther. It was all [the direction] I ever needed."

Since then, Edwards has performed in tribute bands with names like Wonderland (Stevie Wonder) and Garage Mahal (Taj Mahal), as well as a 1996 stint in a Portland band called Flat Stanley. But it wasn't until a year and a half ago that he joined the ranks of Mandonna. Created three years ago as a direct response to the all-girl tribute bands on the market (like Cheap Chick and AC/DShe), the band went through two lead singers before hitting on Edwards' manic mix of Madonna-meets-Jim Morrison vocal charm.

The newly appointed musical director of Mandonna is working hard on making what the group does look really easy. "Madonna changes into a new persona, and then makes fun of her old self," Edwards says. "Our job is to laugh at ourselves now. The people that come to see us are either big fans or want to see a freak show. We try to be there for everybody." Hallelujah.