Abercrombie & Bitch

[August 9th, 2006] The rude, crude and well-lubed Another Gay Movie prides itself on being a queer version of the het-humping American Pie. It hits theaters Friday in diverse cities like Atlanta, Portland—and Salt Lake City. And honey, those Mormons have no idea what they're in for.

It's not because this might be the first time Utah audiences have a chance to see young men get their butt cherries popped. No, it's the twist on the conventional teen-sex romp that makes this dick flick so shocking. And so friggin' brilliant.

The story revolves around a group of four eager anal virgins. They're led by Andy, a cardboard-skinny cutie, played by Michael Carbonaro, in a role that not only asks the actor to stick veggies and small animals up his ass but also insists he stick his prick into an egg-based breakfast pastry (hence the American Pie reference). And then there's the part where Andy, about to give head through a men's-room glory hole, realizes the man on the other side is his fath...ah, never mind.

Just realize it's not often that—outside a sticky video booth—one gets to watch hot boys (including McMinnville native Robbie Laughlin and Rainier, Ore.'s own James Getzlaff) have sex with each other as well as their teachers and, in a role he probably now regrets, Richard Hatch. The Survivor-winner-cum-tax-evading-gay-jail-baiter spends his screen time as he did on the island: nude. And yes, you do see "it," and no, "it" is not pretty. Hatch's big moment is when he says, like a portly Paris Hilton, "That's hot," and dives face-first into the ass of a rectally obsessed closet case.

Now, I know gay geezers like me will find this movie laugh-out-loud funny, but is a small niche audience—queer baby boomers—really the intended market? Or does this movie have bigger gay fish to fry?

Het kiddie-flicks like Porky's rarely delve into the political waters that Another Gay Movie splashes around in. Why else would these boys be graduating from San Torum High School, a sly reference to the enemy of queers everywhere? And why else would class valedictorian Griff (Mitch Morris) spend so much time wondering why gay men don't have the same rights straight men do when it comes to getting off?

Filmmaker Todd Stephens has made one of the most political queer films to come along in a long time and has draped it in the silliest of genres: the frat boy flick. If that's not genius, then I don't know what is.

I can't wait for the sequel.