Breakin' the law, breakin' the law...

[August 30th, 2006] WINNERS

Last week's National Association of Realtors report indicates a slowing housing market: good news for members of the Portland slacker class looking to find a cheap address for band practice.

Under a new ruling by the Oregon Supreme Court, it's still a crime to disobey a police officer's orders, no matter what those orders are. Civil rights advocates worry police will celebrate the decision by cracking down on protesters with unreasonable demands. How bad could it be? Maybe: Drop and give me 20! Hey, vegan, eat this Reuben!

Columbia River sailors, husky Port of Portland longshoremen and shadowy international shipping magnates all danced a merry jig and warbled a brisk sea shanty when a federal appeals court OK'd a plan to dredge the Northwest's iconic river. Environmentalists argue that the move, designed to deepen the Columbia's shipping channel to accommodate massive modern cargo vessels, will hurt salmon and other fishy life. Sez the U.S. Ninth Circuit: So what? The project still awaits Congressional funding.

LOSERS

Your parents don't really love you, Portland Public Schools students. As they're schlepping you around town buying you school supplies this week, they're secretly delighted classes resume Sept. 6.

Tough times for Republican gubernatorial candidate Ron Saxton. First, a new poll showed him trailing incumbent Ted Kulongoski by 14 percentage points. Days later, Secretary of State Bill Bradbury ruled that Constitution Party candidate Mary Starrett, an anti-abortion zealot who threatens to swipe right-wing votes from Saxton, belongs on the ballot despite a legal challenge to her status.

Oregon House Speaker Karen Minnis (R-Troutdale) did herself no favors in the good karma sweepstakes, even if her tired dirty-tricks tactics against Dem opponent Rob Brading are technically legal. A Multnomah County judge held his nose last week and declined to block negative Minnis campaign propaganda that paints Brading as being in favor of exposing kids to porn—through his position on, wait for it...a library advisory board! Desperation, anyone?