Gossip Should Have No Friends

[August 30th, 2006] THUGGED OUT SINCE CUB SCOUTS Last Sunday's award-losing Emmy nominees found solace in tiny velour track suits from by Portland-based baby clothiers Pimpfants . Sporting phrases like "Jr. Pimp Squad," these baby beaters were stuffed in the Emmy swag bags—worth $42,000 each. Earlier this year, WW reported (see "Baby, You Look Like a Pimp," WW, May 10, 2006) that Pimpfants head Jared Parsons —the li'l bro of KPTV-12 anchor Shauna Parsons —got capped in the ass by neo-con Matt Drudge's Drudge Report, which heralded the line as yet another sign of the Apocalypse. Christian biznatches Concerned Women for America blasted Pimpfants as "a clothing line for the innocent made by the depraved." Good job, church ladies. All that media attention really shut Pimpfants down.

EMINIKE E! Online (a reputable source if there ever was one) and radio blog Friday Morning Quarterback are reporting that Nike and Eminem have paired up to create a special line of limited-edition Air Max sneakers . Starting Thursday, Sept. 31, shoe whores will be able to procure these trainers at select Euro boutiques, and on eBay with proceeds going to help disadvantaged kids in the rapper's home state of Michigan. FMQ says only 64 pairs of shoes will be produced, all signed by Em himself. Expect to pay through the nose: Back in April, a Salem, Ore., eBay seller put a pair of the E-word's own Nike Air Jordan Flight trainers up for auction. Starting bid? $4,999.99 .

LIVE, TELEVISED SUICIDE SuicideGirls.com —the Portland-founded alt-porn website —is launching its second "SuicideGirls Live Burlesque Show ," with guns, hula-hooping and some small screen face time. To kick off its tour, SG is collaborating on an episode of CSI: NY, airing Wednesday, Oct. 18. SG fan and CSI creator Anthony Zuicker is shooting an episode centering "around SuicideGirls as a whole," says SG's PR rep, Alexis Haase. No clue what that means, but may we suggest casting our fave SuicideGirl, codename GoGo (interests: "pornoise, nightmares, zombies"), in the champagne room, with the nipple clamps. Just throwing it out there. The SG Tour hits P-town on Tuesday, Sept. 19, at the Aladdin Theater.

GENDER REASSIGNMENT James Bash's story last week on the Oregon Symphony's flurry of new hires ("The Dream Team?," WW, Aug. 23, 2006) quoted "flute god" David Buck as mentioning: "I'm in a film... called The Good Shepherd. You can find me playing flute dressed in drag alongside Matt Damon." Last Wednesday, Mr. Buck quickly straightened out WW via email: "Matt Damon is dressed in drag.... I am an extra in the scene, wearing a tuxedo, and dressed as a man, as usual." Whew. Scoop thanks Buck for the clarification, but sincerely hopes he also passes that info onto his new employer. It was the Symphony's own staffers who gave Bash the cross-dressing quote—maybe they think they're gettin' more with this hire than just a new blowhard.

WHAT YOU MISSED ON WW'S LOCALCUT.COM THIS WEEK Satyricon reopens...Fellini still dead. >> Portland popsters sick of each other: Junior Private Detective's trial separation. >> Byron Beck predicts that, in the future, Storm Large will look like a Muppet made of leather (OK, he didn't say that, Scoop did). >> Neptune brings its DIY electro scrap to the Towne Lounge. >> Local Cutters share their tastes—Casey Jarman likes the sound of "Rape Whistle." >> Show Me the Pink: waaay more than just a pussy reference.