LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

[February 14th, 2007] WOMB WITH A VIEW

First of all, we would like to thank you for the wonderful article on our sex lives that was published, alongside our real names [Ray McMillin and Dan Storz], in your paper ["Courting the Wombstretched," Feb. 7, 2007]. Our parents were thrilled, and it helped ease the passing of Womb's grandmother.

Also, the article will most likely help Womb and myself get more of that homegrown Northwest rump that we enjoy so much, as you have clearly legitimized our wombstretching ventures as non-threatening and worthwhile family activities (clowns and hot dogs for the kids). It also helps that you published the fact that I get regular STD tests, which will help me save money on prophylactics in the future.

Second, and of equal importance, a very important correction: I DJ at a strip club called the Big Bang, located near Fantasy Adult Video in Southwest Portland. Not only does a "Fantasy Adult strip club" not exist, but the Big Bang is of the highest caliber, and is thus frequented by Wombstretcha himself. Readers, fans, single moms and Hare Krishnas alike are all welcome to visit us at 11051 SW Barbur Blvd., where they can hope to meet the Stretcha himself. I'm there on a daily. Get it "On a Daily" As in, our song called "On a Daily," from the Great Divide LP ($5, Ozone, Everyday Music, Music Millennium). Like Tattered Bob, who lives under the Burnside Bridge, we crack ourselves up...on a DAILY!

We would like to conclude by thanking, among others, "pacin'" Jason Simms, Amy "probably a vegan" McCullough, Becky "oh my" Ohlsen and Casey "the jar" Jarman for their hard work and dedication to journalism, which was foreseen on their completion of WR 122 [PCC's English Comp course].

We came to stretch Wombs and chew Bonkers, and they don't make Bonkers anymore. Although we dearly love our newly acquired friends at the WW, it is of importance to mention the following: Wombstretcha don't need you, Wombstretcha don't need anybody.

Ray, sitting next to Womb
Medical Marijuana Cardholder, Three-time Olympic Viewer,
Child of Jerry, Follower of Bob

JUST DO IT

Steve Novick articulates a clear strategy for defeating Gordon Smith ["If I Ran," WW, Jan. 31, 2007]. His ability to communicate a progressive agenda in common-sense terms that will appeal to the general public is unsurpassed in Oregon politics.

If I were running to be his campaign manager, here's how I'd win. I'd label him "the common sense candidate" and get as much mileage as possible out of the "left hook" analogy. Run, Steve, Run. Win, Steve, Win.

Paul Lee
Southeast 11th Avenue