Stop the owl-on-owl violence.

[May 2nd, 2007]

WINNERS

Cops, reporters and psychotic spouses won out last week when the state Supreme Court ruled people who pick through your trash aren't violating your privacy (see "Rubbish," WW, Dec. 24, 2002). Start composting those murder weapons.

The tobacco lobby and a 1996 ballot measure—requiring a three-fifths legislative majority for any tax hike—successfully tag-teamed a bill last week that would have upped tobacco taxes to pay for uninsured Oregon kids. Dems say they'll try again, so smoke 'em if you got 'em, kiddies.

How do you save owls? Shoot owls. The Fish and Wildlife Service is protecting the Northwest's spotted owls by blasting away at their non-native competitors, the barred owls. This could be the perfect job for out-of-work loggers.

LOSERS

Foot met mouth for state Rep. Dennis Richardson (R-Central Point). The southern Oregon rep caught deserved hell last week in the national and state blogospheres for his "A Tragic Week in Review" newsletter that linked the Virginia Tech massacre with Oregon's new gay-rights legislation. First, basic civil rights; next, fabulous killing sprees.

After liquid courage spilled into lawlessness during Last Thursday's Alberta Street arts event, Portland Police vowed to pork up patrols. Officers are going door-to-door, warning Alberta residents against street drinking and dancing. Visit next month's fair, starring Portland's own Big Brother and the Batons.

The state Department of Justice says there's insufficient evidence that ex-Multnomah County Chairwoman Diane Linn tampered with records (See "Lying for Linn?," WW, April 26, 2006). But it stinks that Linn refused to be interviewed by investigators looking into ex-staffers' charges that she told them to falsify her calendar.

Though the weather's clearing up, Portland cyclists ride under a dark cloud. Recumbent-ridin' Critical Mass-er Mayor Tom Potter recently opted against funding an update of the city's Bicycle Master Plan. It would have cost Portland just $100,000—a pittance out of the city's bulging budget. Perhaps the mayor has traded in his bike for a chauffeur?