Gossip should have no friends

[May 9th, 2007] SLIPPERY WHEN BUTTERED Already a strange evening at Berbati’s last Friday—the ninjas of local rap/performance-art troupe Fists of Dishonour battled one another on gym mats; Iowa rapper Coolzey played Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood hits to start his performance—all before Portland’s comedic hip-hop trio The Buttery Lords exploded onto the stage...literally. As their first number kicked, um...off, Brian “Baby Powder Fresh” Kruse took a running leap off the stage and, landing poorly, suffered a compound fracture of his ankle . Unable to see the accident from the stage, Dr. Marble and MC Hub continued their rhymes as Kruse joined in from the floor , delivering his verse without missing a beat even as onlookers gathered to gape at the blood pooling around his exposed bone . At the song’s end, Kruse finally made mention: “Buttery Lords, I love you, but I just broke my leg,” and he was rushed to the hospital. The Buttery Lords return to Berbati’s on June 3.

THESE VIOLENT DELIGHTS HAVE VIOLENT ENDS So you’re a young theater company with an upcoming production of Romeo and Juliet . How do you set your Venetian tragedy apart from all the others? Answer: Lay the smackdown! The members of CoToP Theatre are prepping for their Montague/Capulet rumbles by training with Gresham’s Team Quest to choreograph Ultimate Fighting Championship-style battles with real hitting. What’s in a name? A severe ass-kicking. The production opens July 12 at Theater! Theatre! Meanwhile, the not-at-all hardcore National Endowment for the Arts awarded substantial grants to three other Portland theater companies: $15,000 for Artists Repertory Theatre ’s original musical, The Ghosts of Celilo; $20,000 for Portland Center Stage ’s ongoing project, Apollo, Part 2: Dark Side of the Moon; and $5,000 for Insight Out Theatre Collective ’s Tempest-inspired For:Give.

WRITE STUFF Local illustrator Carson Ellis (of Decemberists’ album-covers fame) is working on an upcoming Lemony Snicket book. “It’s a picture book called The Composer Is Dead,” Ellis emailed Scoop. “...a composer has been murdered and an inspector is called in to investigate. He interrogates all the sections in the orchestra and they provide alibis so it’s sort of an introduction to the members of an orchestra.” Like Clue! Ellis says she’s also working on a book with hubby (and Decemberist) Colin Meloy about their cat. And that, folks, is the cutest goddamn thing we’ve ever heard.

SCHOOLHOUSE POP: PDX Pop Now! brought some top Portland performers to Parkrose Middle School last week to promote its annual festival and reward students who completed the “Re-leaf” program (meaning they did all their homework). The kids enjoyed the sounds of Syndel, Alela Diane, Soul P. and WW Best New Band winners the Shaky Hands. Watching the Hands perform for screaming sixth graders was “like seeing the Beatles,” said organizer Cary Clarke. Rapper Soul P. was mobbed by autograph-seeking students after two high-energy sets that had teachers visibly on edge. POP organizers are currently looking for volunteers to help put on more public-school events. You hear that, kids? Start doing your homework.