Gossip should have no friends

[June 6th, 2007] LEFT HOOK As reported Monday on wweek.com, officially famous person John Hodgman —the frumpy "PC guy" in those Apple commercials and a Daily Show correspondent—has mentioned U.S. Senate candidate Steve Novick on his blog. It's not for Novick's support of net neutrality—it's because he has a hook for a hand. Among the fake information included in Hodgman's book The Areas of My Expertise is a list of nine presidents who had hooks for hands. Jefferson, for example, "designed his own hook," while Bush "replaced his hook with a chain saw in an effort to seem less privileged." So, Hodgman writes, "SHOULD STEVE NOVICK PREVAIL and become a US Senator, he would, under obscure Oregonian law, be but A HOOK-HAND FROM THE PRESIDENCY ." Novick's campaign site (www.votehook.com) has picked up the story but seems to be missing the point: Clearly, the hook needs to ditch Novick and strike out on its own—it's already got its own website.

FLOCK OF SEGALS Guess who'll be sporting Portland-born fashions on its racks in October? Fred Segal. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the über-trendy L.A.-based shopping emporium frequented by the likes of Lohan and Hilton just put an order in for two fall '07 pieces from Emily Katz's sustainable, eponymous label. Buyers down at the celebutante mecca were "surprisingly nice," says Katz, and picked up two jackets: the Portland Swing coat in water-resistant poly-fleece, and the Pearl Sweatcoat in organic cotton fleece. Both will retail at around $350. It's a major coup for Katz's line, which will be sold online and in Fred Segal stores—and if a celeb stylist like Rachel Zoe dresses Mischa Barton in it, it'll fly off the shelves.

NOW FOR YER HOLLYWOOD-IN-PORTLAND REPORT You'll never guess who's looking to buy a home on Sauvie Island now (no, it's not Gus Van Sant, he already has one there). Scoop has it on good authority that a certain rain-obsessed artiste is looking to land a fabulous farm just 10 miles west of downtown Portland. Trouble is, the very private pad isn't on the market. If this is true, and it does happen, raspberries and nude sunbathers will be the last thing you'll be scoping out on the isle. >> One music man we can confirm was spotted in P-town recently was Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis. He was seen dining inside the Ace Hotel at Clyde Commons joined by his hot young girlfriend, 21-year-old model Heather "Nika" Christie. >> You probably know her as Spider-Man's fiancée, but Tobey Maguire love interest Jen Meyer is also a jewelry designer to the stars. So, what does this have to do with Portland, you ask? The charm-loving maven has had Twist on her radar and recently contacted the local boutique directly to carry her pricey collection. Until just recently, Meyer's jewels were sold exclusively at Barney's and only a couple other high-profile boutiques in La La Land. Now Portlanders can don her simple, nature-inspired diamond-encrusted adornments. But you'll have to save up some pretty pennies. The 18-karat rose gold wishbone studs are a precious $225, but the coveted, overwhelmingly publicized 18-karat yellow gold and diamond-leaf necklace will run you a steep $5,500.

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CLASSICAL GAS In a flurry of notable activity, appointments and awards on the classical music scene last week, Portland finds itself with some pretty heady honors. The Oregon Symphony named 25-year-old violin whiz kid Jun Iwasaki—fresh from the concertmaster post in, gulp, Canton, Ohio—its new pole-position player, a major step up for both Iwasaki's profile and pocketbook (the position pays at least $250K annually). The choral geeks over at Cappella Romana just left town for a few weeks of SoCal touring, headlining big-time early music fests in Santa Barbara and Malibu (not bad). And PDX composer Gary Noland's comic-book opera, Cafe Ritardando—not to be confused with Portland's other comic-book opera, the ill-fated Too Much Coffee Man—has been named a semifinalist in the Opera Vista Contemporary Opera Competition, and will receive a partial showcase later this month in Houston.