[November 21st, 2007]

53 A Home-Dialed Meal

Face it, not every home chef is ready for Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking , or even a Rachael Ray 30 Minute Meal . Those sad, kitchen-challenged individuals, leery of boiling water and terrified of real silverware, need a little handholding when it comes to dinner. Thank goodness quirky publishers Knock Knock have whipped up The Takeout Cookbook: How to Order, Eat and Care for Food You Didn’t Cook ($19.95, Hello Portland, 525 NW 23rd Ave., 274-0771) . The useful, tongue-in-cheek hardbound guide covers everything from the care and handling of your ready-made meal to the history of “convenience” foods, how to decode those mystifying words on ethnic menus—hoisin, paneer, mochi—and, of course, how to order over the phone like a pro. Your loved ones will never go hungry again, provided they’ve got cell reception. (KC)

54 In the Chill of the Night

Taking a bottle of wine to your next holiday soiree is not only expected, but really boring. Especially if you’re on the cheap and don’t want to spend your salary trying to live up to your wine-loving bosses’ upscale expectations. Dress up your next gift with the Wine Pocket , ($40, Design Within Reach, 1200 NW Everett St., 220-0200) . Made in the Bay Area from gray industrial-wool felt, the tote is so stylish and functional your hostess may even refrain from commenting on your two-buck Chuck. (EB)

55 Deschutes Brewery “The Abyss” Imperial Stout

There exists a fabled dark beer—so dark it’s jet-black—with supple, confident hints of molasses, licorice and leather. It won the gold medal at the Great American Beer Festival, and Men’s Journal called it the best stout on planet Earth. Its 22 ounces of tar-colored gold, 11 percent ABV and bottled in opaque glass, are sealed with wax—like a love letter from Shakespeare. The Deschutes Brewery in Bend issues just a few thousand cases of its Abyss stout each December—for the entire West Coast . If you manage to score a bottle—available only at John’s Marketplace in Multnomah Village ($10, 3535 SW Multnomah Blvd., 244-2617) and Belmont Station (4500 SE Stark St., 232-8538), for a limited time in early December—putting it in your lover’s stocking will get you laid. (MT)

56 Have Petrol, Will Gorge

Road-tripping its way from the Willamette Valley to Vancouver, B.C., Seattle-based food writer Braiden Rex-Johnson’s Pacific Northwest Wining&Dining: The People, Places, Food, and Drink of Washington, Oregon, Idaho, and British Columbia ($32.50, Powell’s Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651 and other locations) is just plain dangerous, in a crazy-making “I must go visit this restaurant/farm/winery now , it’s only three/five/seven hours away from Portland” kind of way. Packed with profiles of chefs, mushroom hunters, farmers and other food and wine fanatics, as well as recipes, Rex-Johnson creates a vibrant picture of the people and places that make the Northwest such a popular foodie destination. (KC)

57 Bringing Flavor Back

Make leftovers taste as good as they did on Turkey Day with the All-Clad Panini Press and Pan ($130, Sur La Table, 1102 NW Couch St, 295-9679) . Stamp your turkey sammies under this heavy-duty piece of machinery and, voilà, you’ve got a leftover masterpiece as crispy and flavorful as last night’s dinner. The cast-iron press weighs at least twice as much as the griddle (in all, the whole thing weighs almost 10 pounds!), so it’s just like authentic presses from back in the day. You can also grill meat, veggies and fish directly under it without all of the messiness that other kitchen appliances create (hello, Foreman). (EB)

58 More than One Way to Cook a Beaver

Sure it’s cool to find out how to prepare exotic, tropical dishes (mango salsa, Spam), but sometimes you just wanna know how to get rid of the huckleberries in your backyard or the smoked salmon, goat cheese and mushrooms you couldn’t resist snatchin’ up at the farmers market. Enter A Chef’s Bounty: Celebrating Oregon Cuisine ($29.95, New Seasons Market, 6400 N Interstate Ave., 467-4777, and other locations) , a big, fat “Greatest Hits” compendium of recipes from restaurants all across the Beaver state, from the honey-bacon-apricot cornbread at Portland’s Le Pigeon to the lemon-curd-stuffed French toast from Cannon Beach’s Stephanie Inn. (KC)

59 Cuts Like a French Knife

Longtimer Claude Dozorme is globally recognized for its superior cutlery craftsmanship. So don’t be surprised when you whip out these cheese knives ($110, Moule, 1225 NW Everett St., 227-8530) for a little appetizer-sampling and they become the buzz of the shindig. Treat your hostess to this four-piece set and watch her go ga-ga. You even have the option of mixing and matching a whole spectrum of colors for added custom flavor. (EB)

Gimme More

So Pretty You Could Just Eat It Up:

The Organic Chocolate Sculpture ($10-$40 Alma Chocolate, 140 NE 28th Ave., 517-0262) poses the question, what wouldn’t be better if it were made out of chocolate?

Up With a Twist:

Remember that movie where Tom Cruise went all Cirque du Soleil on his cocktails? With Hip Sips , by local Mint/820 maven Lucy Brennan ($16.95, Twenty-Third Avenue Books, 1015 NW 23rd Ave., 224-1003) , you’ll be just like him—except without the Scientology and couch-jumping.

Fish Dish:

The Fish Casserole ($125, Onda Arte Latina, 2215 NE Alberta St., 493-1909) is a unique casserole dish made by Colombian artist La Chamba shaped like —you guessed it—a fish.