[December 5th, 2007]

63 Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag

A trillion plastic bags are consumed worldwide every year. Most of them, it seems, are under your sink, snarled into a slimy knot. Tie down that mess with the inventive Bag Bag ($2, Mirador, 2106 SE Division St., 231-5175) , a cotton sack that holds up to 60 bags and dispenses them one at a time. Fill ‘er up and hang over the kitchen sink—or over the front door, like petroleum-based mistletoe. (CM)

64 Shake It, Don’t Break It

Are you still not over the Swingers thing? Or are you actually that old? Both are good reasons to get your drink on. Do it in style with vintage cocktail shakers ($20-$28, Home Ec, 3327 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 231-6449) . You can even learn how to make what you shake, with recipes for Stingers and Alexanders and Dubonnets printed on the outside—helpful, after you’ve had too many. (CM)

65 A Novel Idea

Bibliophiles and Bobbit-o-philes alike will delight when gifted with the “Romeo&Julienne” cutting board ($10.50, Powell’s on Hawthorne, 3747 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 235-3802, Ext. 7600) . The size and shape of a hardback book, its sturdy hardwood surface ensures that only the carrot gets sliced. When you’re through chopping, store it on its side, where it looks just like a hardback book. Heh heh, we said hard. Thrice. (CM)

66 Kill Bill Goes Kitchen

It’s nice and all to cut endless baguette slices for holiday parties, or to hack away at stale loaves for Caesar croutons, but what a pain in the ass it is to clear away all that bread dust. Put the crumb sweeper away and shell out a C-note for the Shun U2 Ultimate Utility Knife ($99.95, Sur La Table, 1102 NW Couch St., 295-9679) . A culinary light saber, it has a wave-serration pattern that can cut through crusty baguettes with very little mess, and bisect croissants and the juiciest tomato with Ginsu-esque ease. (CM)

67 Fish Heads

Love sushi, but you and the fetus can’t do raw fish? Or are you still stuck in 2003 and low-carbing it? Get your fix with cool sushi Christmas tree ornaments ($16, Powell’s on Hawthorne). Locally made and constructed from yarn, beads and sponges, the ornaments are so cute and realistic, you’ll want to dip them in soy sauce and dot with wasabi. Low-sodium and scent-free, to boot. (CM)

68 Tile Style

It’s the time of year when home remodeling projects move indoors. Whether you delight in such endeavors or existentially resign yourself to them, there’s one DIY project that we can all happily and successfully complete: scarfing down chocolate tiles from Poco Dolce ($17.95, In Good Taste, 231 NW 11th Ave., 248-2015) . These delicious building blocks come in flavors like ginger, almond, burnt caramel and sesame toffee. Willy Wonka is so tiling his kitchen with these, dude. (CM)

69 Salt Lick

North Mississippi’s the Meadow is already the undisputed salt king of Portland, with more than 60 gourmet finishing salts on hand to sample and use to perk up your cooking. But owners Mark and Jennifer Bitterman have outdone themselves with their gorgeous Himalayan Pink Salt Blocks ($13-$48, 3731 N Mississippi Ave., 288-4633). The translucent, blush-colored slabs, which range from 2-inch-tall cubes to 8-by-8-inch plates, are cut from 500 million-year-old Pakistani salt boulders mined (by man and mule-power, no less) from the Himalayan Mountain range itself. The cool thing is, the blocks are as functional as they are beautiful. Use ’em as plates (“moist” foods will pick up a little flava from the blocks) or get brave and cook with them. “You can put them on the stovetop and grill on them, or put them in the oven. Under the broiler we’ve tested the plates up to 900 degrees. They get very hot,” swears Mark Bitterman. “I like the idea of cooking on food that predates the development of food.” We do too. (KC)

70 We Know How to Pick ’Em

Forget Botox injections. Liven up your next holiday office party with paper cups emblazoned with big schnozzes . Just in case your holiday soiree is lacking in personality, these party cups ($9.95, Hello Portland, 525 NW 23rd Ave., 274-0771) should serve as an instant pick-me-up. Twelve semi-disguises (choose from quirky profiles like “The Dude,” “The Yenta,” “The Spaz,” “The Redneck” and “The Art Student”) come illustrated on the rims of these paper cups so when you take a swig, the disguise falls into place. Who knew your Aunt Martha could pull off a mustache that bushy? (EB)

71 Nice Rack

Trendy New York gourmet grocery Dean&Deluca has versions of nearly the same thing for $100-$150, but for a limited time so does big-box retailer Target—for only $16.99 (1400 N Hayden Drive, Jantzen Beach Shopping Center, 247-0031, and other locations)! We’re talking about the 18-piece spice rack that, like the fancy schmancy D&D ones, contains test tube-shaped clear glass vials more suitable for taking blood samples than for storing red pepper and cumin. Still want to spend the big bucks? Head to deananddeluca.com to pick up a pricier version, but we dare your dinner guests to try and tell the difference. (BB)

72 Tapas Toe-Tappers

For those who have a little Spanish flair in the kitchen but want to add to their list of go-to tapas, Simone and Inés Ortega’s 1080 Recipes ($39.95, Anthropologie, 1115 NW Couch St., 274-0293) will ensure a whole host of ’em. A best-seller in Spain since its debut 40 years ago, this is the first stateside edition, with definitive recipes from all Spanish regions. Learn to cook snails in various ways, sweeten up your guests with a killer dessert or re-create the menus included by celebrated Spanish chefs. The almost-1,000-page tome includes bright, playful illustrations as well as photo inserts of some mighty good-looking dishes. (EB)

73 Head for the Hills

Cooper Mountain Vineyards’ 2006 “Cooper Hill” Pinot Noir ($15, Elephants Deli, 115 NW 22nd Ave., 299-6304 and other locations) is the perfect complement to any holiday table. And with its candied cherry aroma and bright, complex flavors, this organic, eco-friendly wine will keep your budget and your “green” practices on track this holiday season. (BB)

74 Sweet Jesus

You know those gifts you don’t want to actually give? The Belgian-style chocolates from DePaula Confections (depaulaconfections.com) will inspire you to get all greedy like Oprah. Locally made DePaula Confections are all natural: no artificial preservatives, flavorings or colorings. What we’re hoarding this year: a double-layer chocolate, covered in crème de cacao dark chocolate ganache, and topped with vanilla cinnamon marshmallow. (CM)

75 Just Like Chocolat

The chocolate doctors at Cacao (414 SW 13th Ave., 241-0656, cacaodrinkchocolate.com) have taken cocoa therapy to a new level this year with an awe-inspiring array of bittersweet gifts, from single-origin chocolate bars to locally produced truffles. A few faves: a Nerf football-size hollow chocolate replica of a cocoa pod ($45) filled with cocoa-dusted real cocoa beans—which taste like the funky, earthy sweet-sour cousins of coffee beans. Want a less rustic experience? French sweet-master Michel Cluizel has created Les Macarolats d’Hiver ($10) , a five-pack of orgasmic caramel, praline and cafe chocolate bon bons. And because you should be chocolate in and out, don’t forget Sweet Beauty’s “Melt” spa treatment ($20) . Yep, that’d be an organic-chocolate milk bath. It does a body good. (KC)

76 Motto of the Season

If it looks good, eat it. Holiday Baking by local foodie Sara Perry ($18.95, Kitchen Kaboodle, 404 NW 23rd Ave., 241-4040) covers all the winter holiday feasts. What’s that? You don’t know what to make for Boxing Day, you say? This book will give you some great ideas to knock your friends out with.

Gimme More

“These Go To 11”:

With a mix of 11 malts, 11 hops and a whopping 11 percent alcohol content, Schmaltz Brewing Company’s Jewbelation Eleven ($5.29, Belmont Station, 4500 SE Stark St., 232-8538) is sure to be at least one better than any other holiday brew.

Gobble-Gobble:

These Organic Turkeys ($33.46 for 14 lbs., Whole Foods, 1210 NW Couch St., 525-4343) had their organic heads chopped off just so you and your family could eat a little healthier this year.

Pumpkin Pie Is So ’06:

Give ’em a little something their tummy will remember with See’s Candies Pecan Pie Truffles ($5.50, See’s Candies, 4937 SW 76th Ave., 292-1330) .