WINNERS & LOSERS

[September 10th, 2003] WINNERS

Though Vera Katz caught some hell for the manner in which she replaced Police Chief Mark Kroeker, the payoff was evident last week. Her new chief, native Portlander Derrick Foxworth, enjoyed a warm reception from the community, the City Council and the media.

Nothing's fishy with the Bonneville Power Administration , according to the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals. The court tossed a suit filed by enviros and tribes, who claimed BPA mismanagement hurt salmon and conservation efforts during the 2001 drought. See? Everything's fine.

The word "Multnomah " basked in rare kudos last week. The annual American Phonetics Championship awarded the county name its silver medal, praising Multie's rich combination of vowels and consonants. People who pronounce the name "Mult-ah-no-mah" remain total losers, however.

It was a good week for middle-school gossipmongers everywhere. Carlson Muss , the now 16-year-old expelled from Highland Park for creating a website that dished dirt on fellow classmates, was awarded a $20,000 settlement from the Beaverton School District. Carry on, young slanderers; the First Amendment's got your back.

LOSERS

Linfield College found itself the target of a $3-million-plus lawsuit this week. An unidentified former student claims an employee of the college's dining service sexually assaulted her, and that the assailant was a known felon.

MAX riders saw their sense of safety rattle off the tracks last Wednesday when a passenger found a bomb on a Beaverton-bound train. Reportedly the size of a fist and constructed from a shiny, waxy material, the bomb was safely detonated in a nearby field by police explosive experts.

North Portland New York Times subscribers found their memberships in the Cultural Elite suspended on Sunday, when the Paper of Record failed to arrive in some areas of NoPo. Times flunkies blamed a sudden shortage of delivery personnel. What? We hear Jayson Blair is looking for work...

...not that Willamette Week has a leg to stand on. Last week's Winners & Losers column mistakenly claimed the University of Oregon's football squad opened its season with a win against Sacramento State. As a number of readers kindly pointed out, the Ducks actually thumped Mississippi State. The writer responsible has been flayed.