A reductionist and gimmicky news recap™

[March 16th, 2005] WINNERS

Lady Luck shook her moneymaker for Portland's gamblers : Two new casino projects aim to take over the city's moribund racing palaces. Provided they can get a ballot measure passed in '06, two Lake Oswego entrepreneurs could open a $490 million gambling mecca at the defunct Multnomah Greyhound Park. Meanwhile, the Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde are talking about building a casino at the perpetually struggling Portland Meadows horse track. (In unrelated news, Congress tightened bankruptcy laws-but never mind!)

Even while Measure 37 is shredding land-preservation laws, the conservation group Friends of the Columbia Gorge landed a sweet $4 million bequest from dead lumber heir Norman Yeon. The Gorge-lings will use the dough to keep pristine land out of developers' icy, taloned fingers. And raise a glass, shiftless liberal artists-Reed College got most of the rest of Yeon's $8 million fortune.

The Sporting News, Part One: Portland State University's men's basketball squad crapped out of the Big Sky Conference tournament, despite winning the regular season. But weep not for the Vikings' losing their shot at the NCAAs: PSU basketball stirred up sellouts at the Stott Center and a raucous crowd last week at Memorial Coliseum-a rare outbreak of hoops fever among a student body usually more concerned about finding parking.

LOSERS

They hired local fat cats to run interference. They enjoyed unstinting support from a certain large daily newspaper. Yet the attempted grab of Portland General Electric by Texas Pacific Group proved more than state regulators could stomach. They told the dicey takeover specialists to hit the trail last week. Read all the dirty details in this week's cover story, page 16.

The Sporting News, Part Two: Shouldn't a science teacher know not to lick other people's blood? Scott Reed, a teacher and football coach at Central Linn High, made the questionable decision to lap up blood from the wounds of dinged-up football and track stars. Reed could lose his teaching license for his totally nasty weirdness.

Local nicotine junkies nearly coughed up their lungs after discovering the Legislature will consider four anti-smoking bills. Among the proposals are a ban on smoking in public places and a bill that requires manufacturers to sell only "self-extinguishing" cigarettes in Oregon.