The New Closet?

[May 4th, 2005] Another Saturday night, another crowd of gays dancing-this time at the kickoff fundraiser to support Senior Housing and Retirement Enterprises, a group confronting the issues facing people who are old and gay.

SHARE was started three years ago by Mary Beth Brindley, 65, and her partner, Evelyn Hall, 66. Together for 46 years, Brindley and Hall spent 37 of those years as a closeted Texas couple. Now as openly gay Oregon residents facing retirement, they're concerned. Will they have to go back in the closet to get services from what they fear is an uncaring social system?

"We don't want to go backwards," says Hall, mentioning the story of an older friend who has faced discrimination. "We will never, ever, as long as we live, go back in the closet," agrees Brindley.

Finding options for this-or any other-aging group isn't cheap. There are just a handful of centers designed to meet the special needs of queer seniors nationwide, and in the next few years, SHARE wants to raise $100 million to build an affordable continuing-care community in Portland that affirms the rights of gays and lesbians.

But do we really need it?

In an effort to find out, SHARE surveyed local queers. According to SHARE's president, Wendy Woods, the answer was an overwhelming "yes." Of 700 returned questionnaires, 80 percent of those who responded said they'd like to live with other queer retirees. "Hurry up," somebody wrote. "I need it right now."

And timing seems to be everything. Currently, according to the state Department of Human Services licensing rules, there's a moratorium on building new assisted-living and residential-care facilities, although there's an exception for underserved populations, which gay and lesbians could fall into. The moratorium is set to expire on June 30, but lawmakers are expected to consider a bill this session that might extend the ban. That's because, at least for now, we have too many beds, with not enough heads in them.

So do we need to build more? According to state licensing rules governing residential-care facilities and assisted-living centers, residents must "be free from discrimination," including that based on sexual orientation.

"We have placed several gay people in facilities and never encountered a problem," says Monika Gärtner, co-owner of Portland-based Care Service Options, who has worked as a housing placement specialist for 19 years. "We make a thorough assessment of the total person and we are very up-front with the facilities."

But Gärtner doesn't deny that discrimination might exist for this usually quiet community of geriatric gays. And as we all know, the basic rights extended to unmarried homos aren't exactly the same as those of married hets. Add on the cultural isolation from an aging generation that was raised not to talk about sex, let alone gay sex, and it seems like our community will soon be facing another cultural explosion.

Here's the problem: Although I support the efforts of this group, I fear that such ambitious plans might be a bit of a stretch, and that by provoking the fears of an already freaked-out voting populace, we might be putting the buggy before the old mare.

Seniors, is there a problem? I'm asking you to share your stories with me. I'll bring the coffeecake.