August 27th, 2008
“Son of a bitch, you’re running up the meter!”22 comments
August 20th, 2008
"Hey bro, remember me? You wrote that story about me in the paper."3 comments
August 13th, 2008
“It’s the Californians, man, the Californians are the worst.”14 comments
August 6th, 2008
The middle-aged man I picked up at Vendetta is in a hyperactively verbose lather ...0 comments
July 23rd, 2008
When I step into the obese old woman's apartment5 comments
July 16th, 2008
The obese old woman at Fred Meyer has a bad hip and a wheelchair...8 comments
July 9th, 2008
“...I need to take a shower first and wash all of this blood off.”6 comments
July 2nd, 2008
“So I’ve got these two women in the back of my cab who just refuse to get out...”8 comments
June 25th, 2008
“My friend’s getting divorced, and he’s really drunk,” says the bartender...8 comments
June 18th, 2008
There’s nothing like a good Friday night, and I’m referring to the money.3 comments
[June 22nd, 2005] Passengers always talk to me about sex. I hear about people's problems in even more intimate detail than their bartender did before I picked them up. They tell me about their hang-ups, little fetishes and large insecurities. Guys ask me what they're too embarrassed to ask their girlfriends: how to go down, does size really matter, why does she still think she's fat?
"OK, so do girls like it when a man makes a lot of noise?" This guy seems really concerned.
"Well, I can only speak for myself, and for oh, every other girl I've ever talked to, but it drives me insane. I love it. Definitely. Well, not heaving grunts and guttural groans, no...."
He cuts me off. "No, nothing like that...I was making noise like a girl. It was embarrassing. I mean, guys shouldn't do that."
You learn something new every day, and today I learn it's unmanly to moan and sigh and gasp during sex. It's a control thing.
I shake my head in mock disgust. "First of all; you absolutely love it when she just loses it, right? Well, then why shouldn't she be allowed the same pleasure?" He ponders this.
"And more importantly, dude, you're kidding yourself if you think you're in control, ever, from the moment you first got that hard-on and decided to share it with someone." He starts laughing. "Am I right?"
He hands me a $20 and gets out; I hear him laughing on down the block.
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