Your current-events chop-shop.

[August 10th, 2005] WINNERS

Portland's rival shoe titans both logged big weeks. Adidas , the German athletic empire with its North American headquarters in NoPo, took over up-and-coming Reebok. No one can predict how the merger will work, but analysts say it might give Adidas more ammo in its permanent war against Nike. Meanwhile, the Swoosh stayed free of annexation into the Beav-thanks to the Oregon Legislature.

Oregon's college basketball fans may soon be able to cheer their illegal "March Madness" office-pool selections in person. The NCAA is expected to consider Oregon arenas as potential Big Dance venues after the guv signs a bill eliminating Sports Lottery, legal state-sponsored gambling opposed by the kingpins of collegiate sports.

International headlines are keeping Oregon's terror-friendly reputation intact: The Brits busted a "suspected Islamic militant" alleged to have tried to set up a Southern Oregon terrorist training camp in Bly almost six years ago. Not such good press...but have you heard about our medical marijuana?

Sung Koo Kim , the ultra-creepy alleged "panty thief" long suspected of the killing of 19-year-old Brooke Wilberger, was the big winner last week when prosecutors charged someone else in Wilberger's disappearance. If Kim's celebrating, however, he's doing it inside-he remains incarcerated.

LOSERS

The City of Portland's booze rules took a serious hit when the Legislature gutted local efforts to punish bars for patrons' misdeeds. Lawmakers cut the heart out of Portland's "time/place/manner" law, which allowed the city to hold taverns responsible for drunken outrages committed beyond their premises. That kind invitation to "step outside" is sounding better and better!

William Levada, former Roman Catholic Archbishop of Portland, got an offer he couldn't refuse on Sunday. Faced with getting a subpoena during his farewell Mass as Archbishop of San Francisco, Levada accepted the summons in an off-stage room. Levada must answer questions about the Archdiocese of Portland's sex-abuse policies before jetting off to the Vatican to replace Pope Benedict XVI as the Church's doctrinal enforcer.

Grab your Left Behind novels and get repenting-the apocalypse may be here. An emerging dead zone in the ocean off Oregon's coast has caused dead seabirds to wash ashore and salmon to go missing from Oregon rivers. The suspected cause: steadily increasing ocean temperatures due to global warming.