August 27th, 2008
“Son of a bitch, you’re running up the meter!”27 comments
August 20th, 2008
"Hey bro, remember me? You wrote that story about me in the paper."3 comments
August 13th, 2008
“It’s the Californians, man, the Californians are the worst.”15 comments
August 6th, 2008
The middle-aged man I picked up at Vendetta is in a hyperactively verbose lather ...0 comments
July 23rd, 2008
When I step into the obese old woman's apartment5 comments
July 16th, 2008
The obese old woman at Fred Meyer has a bad hip and a wheelchair...8 comments
July 9th, 2008
“...I need to take a shower first and wash all of this blood off.”6 comments
July 2nd, 2008
“So I’ve got these two women in the back of my cab who just refuse to get out...”8 comments
June 25th, 2008
“My friend’s getting divorced, and he’s really drunk,” says the bartender...8 comments
June 18th, 2008
There’s nothing like a good Friday night, and I’m referring to the money.3 comments
[August 24th, 2005] "My BMW got locked in the SmartPark; I'm going to Hillsboro." It's almost 3 am, and this guy was hailing me at Northwest 2nd and Everett. His suit costs what I make in a month; he is very well turned out. So I let him in.
Unfortunately, he gets irritating fast. He's clearly done some coke and blathers incessantly about the shortcomings of, oh, the world. His anecdotes all revolve around him uncovering the duplicity or stupidity of underlings. Someone didn't get into the school he wanted, methinks.
Once in Hillsboro, we pull up to a dark and quiet house. He says he'll be right back; he has to go in and get some cash. Ten minutes later I pound on the front door, only to wake up an old couple. I apologize, explain, and we figure out that he went in their open garage and out another door.
Usually when this happens, you get no redress. I usually would have gotten cash up front, but I'd been lulled by his expensive trappings. However, the cops use the SmartPark at 1st and Davis. One helps me find the only BMW left in there. He runs the plates, which he shouldn't do, earning my undying gratitude. Cops can be seriously great sometimes.
I tingle with anticipation as I dial. Oh dear, I've disturbed his peaceful slumber. "Hi, remember me? The cab driver you thought was a total idiot? Anyway, the fare was $40, plus $40 back to town, plus $40 back out to get it. Will that be cash or credit?" Revenge is sweet.
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