August 27th, 2008
“Son of a bitch, you’re running up the meter!”27 comments
August 20th, 2008
"Hey bro, remember me? You wrote that story about me in the paper."3 comments
August 13th, 2008
“It’s the Californians, man, the Californians are the worst.”15 comments
August 6th, 2008
The middle-aged man I picked up at Vendetta is in a hyperactively verbose lather ...0 comments
July 23rd, 2008
When I step into the obese old woman's apartment5 comments
July 16th, 2008
The obese old woman at Fred Meyer has a bad hip and a wheelchair...8 comments
July 9th, 2008
“...I need to take a shower first and wash all of this blood off.”6 comments
July 2nd, 2008
“So I’ve got these two women in the back of my cab who just refuse to get out...”8 comments
June 25th, 2008
“My friend’s getting divorced, and he’s really drunk,” says the bartender...8 comments
June 18th, 2008
There’s nothing like a good Friday night, and I’m referring to the money.3 comments
[December 7th, 2005] The biggest bitch ever to get into my cab was a teeny girl who had to have been drinking on a fake ID. The whole way from Old Town to Lloyd Center, she was saying she was going to be sick. I told her to switch places with her friend at the window; she refused.
Finally, we got to the Taco Bell, and I again invited her to move, emphasizing that it was not optional. She refused again. She started bobbing her head back in forth in that gesture that always reminds me of a pigeon: "What I NEED to do right now is not MOVE at ALL." She actually did the "talk to the hand" gesture, too.
"Look, why can't you just move over to the window?!" She started yelling about how she needed to just be still, "and not MOVE one MOTHERFUCKING INCH."
"Sweetheart, you move your skinny ass six inches to the right or you'll be moving it six feet in whatever direction I throw you." Her friends looked like deer in headlights.
"Goddammit, I work in customer service, and I KNOW you can't talk to me like that, and if you keep talking to me like that I'll see that YOU get fired."
"Fuck you. Try it. Get out of the cab and throw up in the parking lot."
What killed me was the sense of entitlement radiating off of all of them. Damn kids. Yeah, I know, next I'll be telling them to get off my lawn.
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