Shut Up And Vote

[May 3rd, 2006]

^Diane Linn Sings To Keep Her Day Job

If Rodney Dangerfield were alive, he'd tell her, "Tough crowd."

Less than a week after two of Diane Linn's former staffers accused her of doctoring public records, the Multnomah County chair did get most of the crowd at Monday night's Candidates Gone Wild! forum on its feet and clapping.

Linn lifted the sellout crowd at the Roseland Theater out of its chairs by singing "Unwritten," from the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants soundtrack.

"I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines / We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, / but I can't live that way," she sang.

Linn then told the audience that they should decide "maybe I should keep my day job."

That may not happen, if the reaction to the rest of her stage appearances is any indication. She recieved some boos when first introduced, though she later drew a huge cheer during a trivia segment when asked how much a county marriage license was worth. "Priceless," said Linn, who led the ultimately unsuccessful fight for gay couples to marry in the county.

Some of the other six candidates for Portland City Council and county chair performed less-challenging acts at the event, sponsored by WW with the help of the Oregon Bus Project.

Council candidate Ginny Burdick's top-10 list of what she'd do if she were a "voter-owned" candidate almost rivaled Linn's introduction for boos. (The list included rerouting the aerial tram to run from the Pearl to Doug Fir and having the Benson Bubblers flow with PBR.) And Commissioner Dan Saltzman demonstrated how to program a VCR, which would have been really dazzling—15 years ago.

The rest of the night was tough on Linn, who got flummoxed while answering questions from an ornery panel during the "Guantánamo Grill."

Panelists drilled her on the county's recent troubles and why three of the other four commissioners were endorsing her opponent, Ted Wheeler.

The crowd was less than pleased with Linn's rambling answers in which she called accusations against her and the sudden departure of the county's longtime finance director as "some of the little things that come up" and said the county's good works were one of the region's "best-kept secrets." She even blamed voters for her failure to fund the operation of the $60 million Wapato jail.

"The voters giveth and the voters taketh away," she said.

The best-received parts of the evening were the MTV Cribs-style videos of candidates' homes and "pimped-out" rides, filmed by Public Media Works, with interviews by ex-WW intern Adrian Chen.

Saltzman wowed everyone by showing off the tiny set of stairs his dog uses to climb into his bed. And Saltzman challenger Amanda Fritz appeared in a zebra-striped outfit to go with her zebra-striped Nissan "Zentra."

Linn's home wasn't ready for a public showing. Her "crib" was strewn with clothes and papers. A Christmas tree decayed in the backyard. But worst were the bugs (yup, bugs!) crawling across a sink of unwashed dishes, which Linn admits to the camera are her household responsibility. If the crowd from Monday night gets its way, she may have more time at home in the near future. —IAN DEMSKY

Editor's Note: Candidates Gone Wild! can be seen on Comcast Cable Channel 30 on Thursday, May 4, at 9:30 pm, Sunday, May 7, at 1 am, Thursday, May 11, at 7:30 pm, and Saturday, May 13, at 11:30 pm.

^Can You Believe This?

With all the campaign cash sloshing around this election, you'd think somebody might have paid for a copy editor before some of the candidate literature got out.

U.S. Rep. Earl Blumenauer (D-Portland) mistakenly tells us in his Voters' Pamphlet statement that "Like you, I am often frustrated with the direction of our county."

Frustrated as we all might be with Multnomah County, Blumenauer surely meant to write "our country" given that the congressman goes on to write about the consequences of problems like "mismanagement of the war in Iraq" and "the failed response to natural disasters like Katrina."

Not that Blumenauer couldn't find fresh cause for worry about missteps in the county.

For example, the campaign mailer that arrived last weekend from County Chair Diane Linn begins with a testimonial for Linn from state Rep. Diane Rosenbaum (D-Portland) that includes the sentence "ASs County Chair, she successfully settled all labor negotiations...."

Then there's Lew Frederick, candidate for a seat on the county Board of Commissioners. He would benefit from a photo editor. Take a close look at this campaign post card where Frederick is the 3-year-old, and his great-grandfather needs his fly zipped.

^Blog Watch

Portland's online pundits stopped gnawing on City Council candidate Emilie Boyles when they smelled blood on Linn. The frenzy following WW's report on Linn's alleged tampering with public records managed to unite bloggers from both sides like a grotesque family Christmas special, with Linn as the goose.

On the blog network for GOP gubernatorial candidate Jason Atkinson, Jay H8 of "MAX Redline" suspects witchcraft for Linn's survival, despite her support of same-sex marriage: "if you can gather the coven and start issuing marriage certificates left and right, then what the heck." (www.h8land.blogspot.com/2006/04/bye-di-miss-american-pie.html)

From the left: Homeless-rights advocate and minister Chuck Currie wrote on his page o' politics and piety: "No elected official with a pattern of knowingly handing the public false information has any business in public office. Linn should resign." (www.chuckcurrie.blogs.com/chuck_currie/2006/04/diane_linn_shou.html)

^The Main Event

Saturday, May 6

Where can you schmooze with Oregon's political elite while listening to some killer blues? At the Dick Celsi dinner, the Multnomah County Democrats' biggest fundraiser of the year, of course. Celsi was a lifelong progressive activist in Portland, and the dinner that takes his name is your chance to hang out with Dems and knock back a few incredibly expensive cold ones.

Hilton Portland and Executive Towers, 921 SW 6th Ave. 5 pm. Tickets $120, available at www.multdems.org/celsi.

Until May 16

For last-minute voters, you've got other options for your mail-in ballots. Drop-off sites are open until 8 pm on Election Day, May 16. For locations in the tri-county area, go to www.co.multnomah.or.us/dbcs/elections/2006-05/drop_sites.shtml, www.co.washington.or.us/deptmts/at/election/dropsite.htm and www.co.clackamas.or.us/elections/dropsite/locations.htm.

^Political Chatter

Paul Van Orden, the Portland noise complaint officer who responded to WW's invitation for write-in challengers to Multnomah County Sheriff Bernie Giusto, knows his chances of winning the election are slim.

But Van Orden nonetheless hopes the votes he will get in the May 16 election send a message about how dissatisfied residents are with Giusto (for WW's endorsement in the race, go to page 19).

Van Orden, a New Jersey native, says Portland is the kind of city where a long shot like him can shake things up. His grassroots campaign has left him impressed with how "special" Portland is, given how many people regularly stop him to talk about his campaign, then pledge to vote for him.

He doesn't expect to record more than a few hundred dollars in costs for printing flyers and creating his website, newsheriffpdx.com.

Van Orden had hoped to spend $3,000 of his own money on ads on Comcast Cable. But he learned at the last minute from a sales rep at the cable company that he needed proof of the county certifying him as a candidate. He didn't have that because he entered the contest with only a few weeks left before the primary.

Although his chances are small of beating Giusto and the other candidate, Don DuPay, Van Orden has a history of difficult battles.

In high school, he won election to the student assembly despite his less-than-jock status as the 99-pound member of the wrestling team who sat at the punk-rock table during lunch. And at Stockton College, when fraternities started to appear on the traditionally alternative campus in southern New Jersey, he led a successful campaign to ban the Greeks. —Angela Valdez