Gossip Should Have No Friends

[May 10th, 2006] CAFFEINE CRESCENDO If a forlorn clown can be the stuff of opera legend, why not a man with a coffee cup atop his head? Too Much Coffee Man, the angst-ridden hero of Southeast Portland graphic artist Shannon Wheeler 's long-running comic series, is about to make the transition from the pulp page to the opera stage. In September, the Too Much Coffee Man opera will premiere at the Portland Center for the Performing Arts. Just this past weekend, Wheeler slurped up the international Opera Conference 2006 in Seattle, where the opera neophyte was invited to preview a sip of his tiny $20,000 production alongside the multimillion-dollar New York project La Strada. Wheeler's "open mic" entree? A baritone singing a love song to a coffee cup that included the lyrics: "We should always be together, like bikers and black leather."

IT'S SO HARD TO BE YOUR FRIEND Man, is forging friendships in the Rose City really that tough? According to the flood of comments we received from readers obsessed with Carin Moonin's FriendSearch story we ran last month (WW, April 12, 2006), the answer is "hell yes ." So, just to show we're sensitive to the buddyless plight of the recent transplant, we're throwing a big "FriendSearch Meet & Greet" party at 7 pm Wednesday, May 24, at Doug Fir , where all you newbies can come together and bond over the cruel treatment of us cold, cold Portlanders. Even Ms. Moonin herself has promised to make an appearance. Check this space in the next couple of weeks for details!

UP IN THE AIR Despite having been in business for more than eight years, the world-famous Serious Juggling store (5008 SE Division St.) claims it has been dropped like a flaming torch by property owner Dean McGregor . The future tenant? "Something more like Starbucks or a pizza joint," says Ben Schoenberg , owner of the one-of-a kind store. Schoenberg received notice in April terminating the store's month-to-month lease as of May 31, but he says McGregor has already changed out the shop's front door and mail slot, put a "For Lease" sign in its window, and deposited a flotilla of construction vehicles in front, forcing the unicycle truck to unload in the neighboring Plaid Pantry parking lot. When Scoop contacted McGregor, he claimed to know nothing of the eviction and promised to follow up with his property manager. The shop, which recently sold high-flying supplies to Cirque du Soleil for use in the 2006 Winter Olympics , is looking for a new home and will continue to operate online at seriousjuggling.com.

MILFS ON DISPLAY Meier & Frank's most recognizable lingerie model, Juanita Howard, slipped out of her demi-cups and into her birthday suit on First Thursday at Pearl District's Lawrence Gallery. Well, it wasn't actually the former model (and former spouse of steel bigwig Howard Hedinger) herself, but rather life-size, nude oil paintings by Portland artist Jennifer Gray. Guests included British pop singer Natasha Bedingfield, who popped into the gallery just prior to a downtown concert, and Juanita herself (a.k.a. "Nita"), who, after seeing that all three of the $1,500-$1,700 portraits had sold, has agreed to sit for more. "It's not that different than posing in underwear," she said.

Got yer own hot gossip? Email us.