Gossip Should Have No Friends

[January 10th, 2007] THE BALLS OF JUSTICE Scoop, it seems, wasn't the only one who took note of Renner's balls . The state Department of Justice also made a grab for them after WW featured the Southwest Portland bar's popular Bingo Night in an article last month ("He's Got Balls," WW, Dec. 27, 2006). Last week, the DOJ told Renner's owner Marshall Meadows to cease and desist (though the agent wasn't able to explain exactly how Renner's, which doesn't take a cut of the pot and is not conducting the games on behalf of a charity, was breaking the law, Meadows says). The weekly games have been suspended while the lawyers sort things out. The only real downside though, Meadows told Scoop with a smirk, is that bingo caller Garron Dorr's head no longer fits through the bar's door.

BOULOT GONE WILD It's January and already local chefs are checkered-pants-deep in praise. First USA Today raved about Portland eateries, and now Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations TV show airs an episode taped last spring featuring a camping trip to Lost Lake with Bourdain and Heathman chef Philippe Boulot . Watch them forage Oregon forests for wild mushrooms to accompany salmon prepared on a humble camp stove. Boulot says he always has a great time with Bourdain, who has done events with Boulot in the past. The show airs 10 pm Monday, Jan. 15, on the Travel Channel.

NOT FAR FROM THE TREE Barring a cuteness famine or other catastrophe, downtown coffee stop Half & Half 's little sister, The Acorn Cafe, will open its doors on Monday, Jan. 15. While it seems a physical impossibility, the location will be roughly half the size of its five-or-so-table "big" sister, which occupies a prime location a stone's throw from Powell's on the "Indie-Rock Block" that contains Reading Frenzy. The Acorn's "not going to be a mini-Half & Half, but rather a micro-deli ," owner Robin Rosenberg posted on her Urban Honking blog on New Year's Day. The biggest surprise, though, is that the new place is in the heart of the Pearl District at 539 NW 13th Ave. Will the grubby books-and-bikes crowd be lured across West Burnside? Can the Pearl crowd choke down grilled cheese? Perhaps it doesn't matter: A homemade Oreo transcends all boundaries...and so do condoms at the cash register.

BEERVANA ATTAINED You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here...oh wait, now you can, at Belmont Station. Since 1997, Portland's premier bottle retailer has provided great to-go options to beer drinkers stumbling out of the Horse Brass. But soon, patrons will be able to sit down and enjoy Belmont's 700 bottled beers at their new storefront, relocated several blocks over on Southeast Stark Street. While the bier cafe, which will also serve sandwiches and eventually Stumptown coffee, is still under construction, the retail half of the space opened last week. Eighteen coolers display the Station's endlessly increasing selection of local microbrews and international beers (owners hope to expand to 900 brands), so patrons no longer need to bother a salesperson to grab their choice from the back fridge.

^WEB ONLY:

LIFE IS JUST A BOWL OF P:EARS Break out the plastic, 'cause the Decemberists are spreading a little love the old-fashioned way, via eBay. On Jan. 11, those wacky folk-poppers commence their second charity action on eBay, during which mega-fans can purchase tour posters and passes, instruments, artwork and various other band-related "curiosities." All proceeds go p:ear, a mentorship program for homelesss and transitional youth. Sweet.

WHAT YOU MISSED AT WW'S LOCALCUT.COM THIS WEEK Dead Moon's Andrew Loomis chats up Jason Simms on topics as wide-ranging as chicks lovin' Echo and the Bunnymen and his own love of Chin Yen, while readers learn the Loomis way to drink a Jameson. >> Boy Eats Drum Machine tries its hand at food criticism of the Mexican sort. >> Chef Boy R' Bangers wins the Band Name of the Week crown. >> And sweet, sweet MP3s abound from the likes of Minmae, the Maybe Happening and Swimmers.