Gossip Should Have No Friends

[February 7th, 2007] ACTIVISM BY NUMBERS Have you ever looked at your kid's coloring books and thought, "Man, my 3-year-old just isn't getting enough information about members of the Black Panthers like Fred Hampton." Have no fear—babywit.com is here. The snarky local baby stuff company, which is sponsoring an event called Coloring for a Cause with Portland's chic baby boutique Black Wagon on Feb. 8, has released two coloring books that are perfect for your little ankle-biting activist. Our fave, The Color of Dissent, "celebrates revolutionaries and political visionaries in American history in an effort to expose children to the truths and individuals that are rarely, if ever, taught in school." Whew! Finally our toddlers have access to the truth. But you know what? THEY CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Why? Because they're friggin' babies! Black Wagon, 3964 N Mississippi Ave., 888-0161. 6-9 pm Thursday, Feb 8. Free.

VILLAGE (BALLROOM) PEOPLE Two of Portland's fringe theater groups are poised to take over the lease of the Village Ballroom , a 4,800-square-foot dance hall at 700 NE Dekum St. The companies—veteran sketch comedians The Tragedies and the recently formed Third Eye Theatre —hope to turn the space into a performance venue offering visual- and performing-arts classes, film screenings and even a "two-year conservatory theater education program for local at-risk youths." The problem? In a Feb. 5 press release, Tragedies' associate artistic director, Douglas Mitchell, announced that his group and Third Eye Theatre (who have only one production under their belts) need to raise "$10,000 in 10 days." The task would be daunting enough for a much better-known and -supported group, and for these ambitious companies it may well end in—sorry, I have to say it—tragedy.

TASTY CORRECTION In our restaurant review of Ten 01 last week, we reported that Leo Rivera , owner of Bishop's Barber Shops, was the owner of the restaurant. That information, based on statements made by Rivera and his personal press representative to Willamette Week editors and published in PDX Magazine, was incorrect. We regret the error. According to Adam Berger , co-owner of Ten 01: "It's an interesting relationship we have with Leo. Leo Rivera is not an owner; he has no financial investment in Ten 01. He is involved with marketing of the restaurant. He is not paid to market the restaurant." Berger refuses to comment on who owns the restaurant, other than himself, Michael Rypkema (who also co-owns Tabla with Berger) and "a small group of private investors." Public records on file with the Oregon Liquor Control Commission show that Ten 01 is owned by Tenth & Couch LLC. The LLC has three members: Berger, Rypkema and real estate developer Robert Gerding.

AND THE WINNER IS... The results of wweek.com's WWire Instant Fiction Grand Championship are in! We invited would-be literary geniuses to knock out ultra-short stories (100 words or less), with only a mandatory Portland setting and their own economical imaginations as limits. Local mini-Hemingways did not disappoint, kicking down more than 50 entries. Our winner, Brent Sandmeyer, offered a post-apocalyptic vision of a certain local landmark...ah, just read the thing:

"Sam drifted his way down the Willamette in his rented

kayak, past chimneys and treetops. Had it really only been ten years since he fled this place? The explosion at the cement plant had effectively dammed the river and sunk the city, the resulting chaos turning Portland to a ghost town overnight. Heading south, he swore that he could detect the lingering stench of cement while passing the shattered towers of the convention center. Past the rusted hulk of the Hawthorne Bridge, Sam finally broke down as the gleaming phallus of The Tram winked at him through the morning mist."

Congratulations to Brent, whose entry is, in fact, exactly 100 words long. We'll feature the runners-up and honorable mentions this Wednesday on wweek.com.