An elephant with a dental plan—in your face, poor people.

[April 4th, 2007] WINNERS

Score one hit for trans fat scolds ("No Fries for You," WW, Oct. 25, 2006). PGE Park's food concessionaires announced they're cutting the much-maligned heart-cloggers out of this season's snacks for Timbers and Beavers fans. First sushi at Seattle's Safeco Field, now this. If you can't get greasy at the ballpark, is anywhere safe?

"No harm, no foul." That was the state ethics commission's ruling on Mayor Tom Potter 's acceptance of free courtside seats to the Trail Blazers' home opener last year. The commission decided there just wasn't enough evidence of wrongdoing. Apparently, sitting through a game was punishment enough.

The Oregon Zoo's ironically named Tusko the elephant endured a grueling, four-hour surgery Sunday to remove the last part of his frequently infected tusk. Just another perk of a long life in captivity for the 35-year-old pachyderm.

LOSERS

Sure, we all love family road trips, but where to fit the kids? Strapped to the roof? Lashed to the grille? Despite its convenience, the trunk is a no-go for passengers, legally speaking. Douglas Willy , a 40-year-old Hillsboro father driving the young'uns to Seaside, found this out the hard way when he was arrested after driving 20 miles with two of his children riding with the luggage. Next The Man will force us to wear seat belts.

Westside commuters had their smugness buried under tons of dirt and debris when a pair of nasty landslides Wednesday morning blocked all westbound lanes of Highway 26 near the Oregon Zoo. Traffic finally resumed around 5:30 pm, with one lane reserved for any further slides. Still think MAX is just for eastsiders?

Another chapter in Portland's manufacturing history ended last week when the last Freightliner truck rolled off the Swan Island assembly line. The company will still make specialty trucks at the plant, but Freightliner's decision to shift jobs to Mexico and North Carolina cost Portland 750 family-wage jobs. See, we need that border fence to keep the jobs in.