[August 8th, 2007]

WINNERS

Sellwood Bridge worrywarts had their fears validated last Wednesday, when a younger, stronger bridge collapsed in Minneapolis. Inspectors have rated the cracked 82-year-old Southeast Portland span 2 out of a possible 100 on the bridge safety scale ("A Bridge Too Far," WW, Aug. 1, 2007). Minneapolis' 40-year-old concrete ruin scored 50 on that same scale.

Stevie Wonder fans who scored tickets to the music legend's Aug. 30 concert at McMenamins Edgefield in Troutdale set a local record. The show sold out in an unprecedented one hour and 45 minutes, prompting ticket holders to sing, "For once I can say this is mine, you can't take it."

The style police allied with the Oregon Liquor Control Commission for victory over bad bars and bad taste. After wrangling with Portland's tackiest Ukrainian-owned nightclub for years, the OLCC finally put the kibosh on H2O for repeated violations, including serving minors and lying to inspectors. More proof Ukraine is weak!

losers

Mayor Tom Potter flack John Doussard is the latest civil servant to face the wrath of a Lars Larson intern. A Larson intern complained that Doussard had violated elections law by indicating mayoral support for a ballot measure. State watchdogs agreed and slapped Doussard with a whopping $75 fine. The intern remains unpaid.

Portland police's favorite target for wasted resources, the Zoobombers, will dismount long enough to meet with cops about increased patrols targeting them. On the agenda: a formal explanation by 'bombers why riding children's bikes down U.S. 26 at 11 o'clock on a Sunday night is not a threat to public safety.

What's on your list today? If it's Monsanto's bovine growth hormone rbST, you won't find it at Fred Meyer. By February, the Kroger Company's 2,500 supermarkets in 31 states—which includes Portland grocers Fred Meyer and QFC—will sell only milk free of synthetic hormones. After this blow, Monsanto will return to its roots: cloning monkey-pigs.