[November 21st, 2007]

70 Roll over, Beethoven

Bentley B designs the perfect tee—for your dog! Named after Bentley, a 1-year-old Chihuahua-Yorkie mix, these T-shirts, created by lil’ B’s owner, Southeast Portland’s Cara Bergeson, are made from recycled vintage child-sized T-shirts more befitting an indie rocker than a dog. That said, if we can outfit our real children to look just like us, there’s no reason not to let our other “kids” in on our passion. Now if we could just get them to clean up after themselves. For now you can find these four-legged fashions at bentleyb.com, where each shirt will set you back about $30.

71 Houndin’ out the Holidays

Rather have your favorite pet hanging around your holiday tree than peeing on it? PetUtopia (8670 SW Scholls Ferry Road, Beaverton, 646-5937) carries all sorts of ornaments featuring your favorite breed ($14.95-$37.95) , including loads of Scottish terriers, French bulldogs and even a “Diva Dog Chihuahua rock star.” So darn cute they make us throw up in our mouth a little every time we look at them.

72 Tongue Wagon

Gene Simmons, eat your heart out. The Humunga Tongue ($8.95 medium, $12.95 large; Urban Fauna, 235 NW Park Ave., 223-4602) is one fetchin’ gift both you and your boy/girl can enjoy. That’s because this particular pet product is as much a sight gag as it is any old plaything. This nontoxic toy—with a gigantic 25-centimeter fake tongue attached to it—will not only please your pup, it just might just set tails to wagging at the dog park.

73 Ho-Ho on the Go-Go

Have hyperactive “offspring” that just won’t sit still? Is your lil’ rascal always begging to go outside? Find the perfect present for the active animal at Wag the Dog (2410 SE 50th Ave., 238-0737) . Not only does this pet shop offer Orbee-Tuff footballs ($8) and woofballs ($7) , it also offers a wide selection of Ruff Wear ’s best, including The Lunker, an interactive training toy ($9) , and the Lighted Lab Coat ($40 )—a safe cover-up for those of you who like to run with Rover late at night.

74 Hasta la Vista, Furballs!

It works like magic! The FURminator ($40-$60, Beauty for the Beast, 3832 NE Sandy Blvd., 288-5280, and other locations) , as the name implies, is a fur-remover that takes no prisoners when it comes to eliminating all those extra locks of love that follow your four-legged hairball wherever he or she goes. Though it’s a bit on the pricey side, this is one of the best de-shedding tools on the market today. And not only that, it’s a total relationship saver and—in a weird way—sort of fun!

75 Simply Wonderful

Thinking of getting your pet a chew toy from the dollar store? Forget it—it’ll end up costing you thousands once you discover it takes just one second for your dog to rip those suckers apart (and get bits stuck where they don’t belong). For a low-cost alternative to high vet bills, try SimplyFido Organic Pet Toys ($14-$20, LexiDog, 416 NW 10th Ave., 243-6200, and other locations) . These plush critters are not only nontoxic and made of all-natural organic fabric, they’re also saliva-resistant. Who knew there was such a thing?

76 Wanna Play a Game?

Who wants to play in the rain? At this time of year it’s all wet and slimy outside, anyway. Now is the time to go inside and play games. And not just any games. Funagle ($35.50 ) is a board game you play with your dogs. That’s right—every time your pooch does an activity correctly, you win a tag. The player who collects the most tags at the end of the game wins. There’s also Do You Mind ($25.50) , a card game that requires a dog to do an activity for you to score. High score wins. We know it’s weird, but doesn’t it sound cool? Besides, these games were created in Cedar Mill. Pick up the game at darfinc.com or Bone-Jour GourMutt Bakery&Boutique (5656 Hood St., Suite 107, West Linn, 557-2328) .

77 Beary Christmas

OK, so it’s not really for pets, but we couldn’t help ourselves. Kent Rogowski’s pixel-perfect Bears ($24.95, Anthropologie, 1125 NW Couch St., 274-0293) is so, well…so cool! It’s nothing more than a picture book in which teddy bears have been turned inside-out, but the absurdity of it all makes us laugh and creeps us out all at the same time. What other holiday gift does that?

78 By Georges, That’s Cute!

Nicole Georges creates cute art. Nicole Georges loves cute animals. Nicole Georges combines both of her cute loves in her absolutely adorable Invincible Summer Animal Friends Calendar ($8, Reading Frenzy, 921 SW Oak St., 274-1449; Food Fight Vegan Grocery, 1217 SE Stark St., 233-3910; nicolegeorges.com) . It features over 130 critters, including two cows, 100 swifts and one sloth. On her website you can commission neat-o Nicole to do a portrait of your pet. While that’ll cost you more than a calendar (they start at $80), they’re darn cute and well worth it.

79 Ready for Battle, General

Nothing says war like Kittenwar ! A print version of kittenwar.com, one of the most happening websites on the Internet, Kittenwar places two friggin’ over-the-top photos of kittens side by side and asks viewers to “vote” for which one they think is the most adorable. Rather than place bets, this book tries to decipher one of the most popular electoral processes in existence next to American Idol. It also includes the “10 reasons why cats are cuter than humans.” Available at local booksellers, you can also find it in at always-quirky Greg’s ($14.95, 8218 N Lombard St. 289-7510; 3707 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 235-1257).

Gimme More

Better Than You Feed Yourself:

Wet Noses holiday treats ($7.99, Healthy Pets Northwest, 2224 NE Alberta St., 249-6571) come in two delicious flavors: sweet potato and apple pie.

Balls Of Holiday Cheer:

MudPie Naughty Nice Balls ($6.95, LexiDog, 416 NW 10th Ave., 243-6200) give you the option of throwing your dog a ball labeled either “naughty” or “nice.” He probably won’t care which one.

Canine Culture:

Yöghund ($5.99, yoghund.com) is organic frozen yogurt for dogs made by The Barking Dog Ltd. This is an especially good choice for dogs prone to upset stomachs.