[January 9th, 2008]

Mary Allison Tadina wants to take off your pants. The 22-year-old Portland-born flight instructor is the instigator behind the city’s first ever

No Pants on MAX event. In a feat of nonironic titling, the event is exactly what it sounds like: Participants meet at the Lloyd Center MAX station on Saturday, Jan. 12 , and take off their pants. They get on the westbound MAX train. They attempt to act normal. “Well, you can to wear a winter coat and [hats and gloves],” Tadina explains, with a nod to the weather. “Just no pants.”

A stunt like this doesn’t need explaining in a city that also harbors mass pillow fights and Santa-packed drinking binges. Chaos-’n’-joy-spreading public scenes are practically a citywide pastime. The depantsing on MAX is actually an offshoot of an event staged in New York City by scene-makers Improv Everywhere. They’ve been planning flash mob-style events since 2001, from 111 men taking their shirts off at Abercrombie&Fitch and faking U2’s iconic rooftop performance to launching impromptu cell phone symphonies. In 2006, eight of the group’s “No Pants! Subway Ride” operatives were arrested for “disorderly conduct” (and later released and apologized to) by NYC’s finest. More than 300 people dropped trou on New York City’s subways for the sixth annual No Pants event last year.

“I’m soooo excited about this. I heard about [Improv Everywhere] on This American Life ,” explains Tadina. She says she tried to stage a No Pants event last year, and although 15 friends opted in, only two went through with it. “My little sister Elizabeth and her friend Evan showed up. We didn’t take off our pants. We went to breakfast at Denny’s instead.”

But 2008 comes with the support of Improv Everywhere, which has called for other cities to join in the pantsless onslaught, with events being planned in San Francisco; Boston; and Adelaide, Australia, among others. As of Monday, the Portland pantsing has 17 confirmed guests on its Facebook page, the Portland Cacophony Society had shown an interest in joining the ride and the infectiously enthusiastic Tadina says she’s been trying to “recruit” riders at her workplace, the Hillsboro Air Field. “This is about the Awesomeness of Portland,” she pleads. “We have other cities to show up.”

Tadina, who is planning on wearing a pair of pink-and-white boy shorts from Victoria’s Secret, isn’t worried about getting busted for her partial nudity. “It’s not illegal to ride around without pants. You’re covered,” she scoffs. “But no thongs, absolutely no thongs.

DO IT: No Pants on MAX participants are instructed to gather at Holladay Park near the Lloyd Center/Northeast 11th Avenue MAX Station. 4:30 pm Saturday, Jan. 12. No money needed, the ride will only extend through Fareless Square. For more info, visit Facebook.com and search “No Pants 2k8- Portland f-ing, Oregon” (must have a Facebook account to access site) or email nopantspdx@hotmail.com. Visit improveverywhere.com for amazing “No Pants” NYC videos and photos. ”

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WEDNESDAY JAN. 9

[MUSIC] CASIOTONE FOR THE PAINFULLY ALONE, CONCERN, PARENTHETICAL GIRLS

THURSDAY JAN. 10

[MUSIC] EGYPTIAN LOVER, SAD MUSIC FOR HAPPY HUMANS

FRIDAY JAN. 11

[FILM] THERE WILL BE BLOOD

[SCREEN] REEL MUSIC 25

[DESSERT] PIX B-DAY WEEKEND

SATURDAY JAN. 12

[QUEER] HONORING QUEER PIONEERS

TUESDAY JAN. 15

[WORDS] COLSON WHITEHEAD