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ISSUE #34.09 • HEADOUT • COLUMN
[NIGHT CABBIE]

“Dude, it takes forever to get a cab out here on Friday and Saturday nights.”

Recently in "NIGHT CABBIE"
BY NIGHT CABBIE | nightcabbie at wweek dot com

[January 9th, 2008]

“Dude, it takes forever to get a cab out here on Friday and Saturday nights.”

I picked the guy up at a bar in Northeast Portland that, by a quirk of the company’s arbitrary zone boundaries, happens to be a mere three blocks away from a zone where you can get a cab three or four times more quickly.

“It’s just because I’m small-time out here, man,” he continues. “I know how it works, believe me, I know. Nobody gives a damn about the working man, you’ve gotta have money to get a cab, I bet that downtown you can get a cab just as fast as lightning!”

“Actually, that’s not really—“

“I know how it works,” he cuts me off. “Me, I’m just some guy who works for a living, but Pat Benatar gets a cab whenever she wants.”

“Well, you know, I think Pat Benatar doesn’t—“

“Oh yeah, Pat Benatar doesn’t wait long for a cab. Pat Benatar calls a cab and they put it out and you guys all run to get her!”

“I can tell you how—”

“Yeah, you guys all just want to get Pat Benatar, I know how it works—”

“Listen!” I snap. “If you’d just shut up about Pat fucking Benatar for 45 seconds, I could tell you how to get a cab faster! It’s just that your zone—”

“I’m not really interested in all that technical stuff,” he drones on. “But Pat Benatar....”

I crank the stereo.












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RECENT COMMENTS ON ““Dude, it takes forever to get a cab out here on Friday and Saturday nights.””

2

He is right NC, I do get a cab right away!

I just say that my name is Sean Pen.

Pat Benatar, Jan 9th, 2008 7:54am
3

Not since Spencer Tracy and Kate Hepburn has the Silver Screen produced such accessible humor, muted sexual overtones and cunning wit with the distinguished aplomb of Ashton Kutcher and Jennifer Garne...

Neck Ed, Jan 10th, 2008 8:35pm
 
 
 





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