Logo
Lovejoy Surgicenter
ISSUE #34.09 • HEADOUT • COLUMN
NIGHT CABBIE

“Dude, it takes forever to get a cab out here on Friday and Saturday nights.”

Social bookmarking | Permalink
Email | Print | Rate It! | 3 comments
Recently in "NIGHT CABBIE"
BY NIGHT CABBIE | nightcabbie at wweek dot com

[January 9th, 2008]

“Dude, it takes forever to get a cab out here on Friday and Saturday nights.”

I picked the guy up at a bar in Northeast Portland that, by a quirk of the company’s arbitrary zone boundaries, happens to be a mere three blocks away from a zone where you can get a cab three or four times more quickly.

“It’s just because I’m small-time out here, man,” he continues. “I know how it works, believe me, I know. Nobody gives a damn about the working man, you’ve gotta have money to get a cab, I bet that downtown you can get a cab just as fast as lightning!”

“Actually, that’s not really—“

“I know how it works,” he cuts me off. “Me, I’m just some guy who works for a living, but Pat Benatar gets a cab whenever she wants.”

“Well, you know, I think Pat Benatar doesn’t—“

“Oh yeah, Pat Benatar doesn’t wait long for a cab. Pat Benatar calls a cab and they put it out and you guys all run to get her!”

“I can tell you how—”

“Yeah, you guys all just want to get Pat Benatar, I know how it works—”

“Listen!” I snap. “If you’d just shut up about Pat fucking Benatar for 45 seconds, I could tell you how to get a cab faster! It’s just that your zone—”

“I’m not really interested in all that technical stuff,” he drones on. “But Pat Benatar....”

I crank the stereo.












icon Story continues below

advertisement
OMSI
advertisement

Rate This Story
4.47 average/17 votes

 
read all 3 comments | add your comment
 

RECENT COMMENTS ON ““Dude, it takes forever to get a cab out here on Friday and Saturday nights.””

1

He is right NC, I do get a cab right away!

I just say that my name is Sean Pen.

Pat Benatar, Jan 9th, 2008 7:54am
2

Not since Spencer Tracy and Kate Hepburn has the Silver Screen produced such accessible humor, muted sexual overtones and cunning wit with the distinguished aplomb of Ashton Kutcher and Jennifer Garne...

Neck Ed, Jan 10th, 2008 8:35pm
 
 
 





Recently in Willamette Week
December 2nd 2008Paulson’s Pitch | Why does Hank Paulson’s son want $85 million of your money?
December 2nd 2008House Of Gain | Aleksey Kalenichenko’s real-estate schemes cost banks hundreds of thousands of dollars. It’s still a mystery how he pulled it off.
December 2nd 2008Just Add Milk | Director Gus Van Sant delivers the story of the gay-rights movement’s patron saint in his most political film to date.
December 2nd 2008Core Issue | Barack Obama says the way we pay teachers is rotten. Does Bill Sizemore (Bill Sizemore?!) have the answer?
December 2nd 2008Ad Nauseam | Do TV ads about hot dogs, golf clubs and rape work? We bring in the experts.
December 2nd 2008WW Voters’ Guide, November 2008 | Tough choices, no brainers: Our endorsements for the general election.
December 2nd 2008Unlucky Strike | The Oregon lottery is going into detox—and our state budget is along for the smoke-free ride.
December 2nd 2008Jail Junkies | Who knows more about stopping property crime: Kevin Mannix or an ex-addict who stole 1,000 cars?
December 2nd 2008Shipracked | Judy Shiprack wants to be your next county commissioner. Here’s what she doesn’t want you to know about a real-estate deal gone bad.