I’m thankful when I turn on the ignition that I’ve been listening to blues tonight
May 14th, 2008
As I pull into the back parking lot of Spot 79 on Southeast Foster Road...13 comments
May 7th, 2008
I’ve had this stooped old alcoholic once before.6 comments
April 30th, 2008
When I call out to the Emanuel E.R.’s waiting room for my fare...13 comments
April 23rd, 2008
“No, really, I believe you,” I tell the old man.17 comments
April 16th, 2008
“Vote Ron Paul? Who’s that, Sean Paul’s cousin?”15 comments
April 9th, 2008
The young woman leans forward...7 comments
April 2nd, 2008
I ask the two guys if there's going to be a problem with the payment... | [CONTINUED FROM LAST WEEK] 20 comments
March 26th, 2008
For the first time ever, I flip the panic switch. 11 comments
March 19th, 2008
It’s raining so hard the water kicked up by my tires makes a slapping sound...5 comments
March 12th, 2008
I pick up the two teenagers in inner Southeast12 comments
[March 5th, 2008]
I’m thankful when I turn on the ignition that I’ve been listening to blues tonight, and not something more manic. The guy in paper hospital pants and flip-flops who I’ve just picked up from Adventist is mumbling to himself, and looks and smells like he hasn’t seen soap since the Reagan era. The last thing I want to do is upset him. All I need to do is shoot down 102nd to a dive motel on Sandy and have him sign a voucher so the hospital can pay for the trip.
After three minutes, I’ve almost forgotten him until the song changes and Howlin’ Wolf begins moaning about how he asked for water and she brought him gasoline.
“Manamax!” comes a scream from the back seat, and I’m literally jolted upright.
“Huh?”
“She brought me gasoline AND AN AX!” he shrieks, and begins laughing hysterically.
“Oh,” I say. “OK.”
“OK,” I think to myself. “You’re stuck in a car with an insane man who’s currently laughing like the Joker at the hilarious idea of an ax being present. This is really happening, but it’s fine, because you’re going to be cool, drive him to his motel, and get him the fuck out of your car.”
That’s exactly what I do. The man looks forlornly around the empty parking lot, before wandering under an eave to get out of the rain.
“This where you’re staying?” I call out the window.
“I think so,” he grumbles.
“Well, good luck.” My tires squeal as I leave.
Story continues below
advertisement
Set the Controls for San Francisco. 1970 - The Fillmore.
Was he, perchance, screaming "Mandrax"?
Ye Gods, how the certifiably crazy passengers can creep a cab driver out. Most are harmless enough, but man...maniacal cackling about an ax...that's pretty over the top.
Ever pick up a chuckler from the locked ward at Good Sam ? Nothing like the ominous click of those electronic jail doors after you enter the bin to look for your fare.
I've learned not to argue with them very much, too...there is a great Bill Burroughs quote about how attempting to reason with the mentally ill will only drive you as crazy as they are. Of course, this comes from a man who claimed to have forced a British Scientology center he had a spat with to move with his tape recorder Voodoo...
Man, you have no luck with men in paper pants. If I were you, I'd would avoid them when at all possible.
Careful with that Axe Eugene.