The Adventures of Zetaman
Portland’s superhero bunks in the ’burbs and drives a minivan—when he’s not keeping our streets safe.
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 IMAGE: leahnash.com |
[March 5th, 2008]
It’s a tough job being Portland’s only superhero.
Once a week for the past 18 months, Zetaman has donned his costume and patrolled downtown Portland, seeking out the needy with gifts of food and clothing.
He goes armed with an extendable steel baton, pepper spray, and a Taser that delivers 30,000 volts—enough to put a man on the ground. Those tools of the trade are to defend himself or people in trouble. But he doesn’t pick fights, and so far he hasn’t been forced to draw his weapons or apprehend anybody.
Like the men under the Burnside Bridge one recent Saturday night when temperatures fell into the low 40s, most of the people Zetaman encounters are grateful for the help.
But they also fail to ask the obvious question: What possesses a stocky 29-year-old to put on a homemade costume and prowl the city streets in the dead of night?
The answers lie both in Zetaman’s own past and on the Web, where in recent years hundreds of other self-styled “real-life superheroes” have sprung into existence around the country.
Zetaman was hesitant to reveal his secrets when contacted by WW. But in the end he agreed to be interviewed and allow a reporter to spend two nights on patrol with him, in hopes that the publicity will inspire more people to become costumed heroes.
“This is not about me,” he insists. “Anyone could do this. I’m nothing special.” He doesn’t even like the term “superhero,” preferring to call himself a “man of mystery.”
But he admits being a costumed avenger is addictive after the first taste of parading in public with a “Z” on your chest.
“I couldn’t stop after that,” he says. “I feel great about myself. I’m staying active in the community. And I like comic books, I like great and noble ideas—like He-Man and Spider-Man. And they all have this thing about noble responsibility.”
On the pages of MySpace.com and in Internet chat rooms, the superheroes plan missions and exchange tips on fighting crime. That is, when they’re not sniping at each other, forming rival superteams, or weathering real-life attacks from mysterious supervillains. But more on the rivalries later.
Most heroes say they’re in the business to make a positive impact. Or just to have a good time.
“People will tell you they had a calling or a vision,” says “Superhero,” a 39-year-old former pro wrestler from Clearwater, Fla., who patrols his hometown in a souped-up ’75 Corvette. “I used to tell people I was trying to be a symbol. Then I realized it was a bunch of crap, and I do it ’cause it’s hella fun.”
In a world where sci-fi has come true and flip phones are as commonplace as pencils, the Eye, a 49-year-old superhero in Mountain View, Calif., says there’s nothing left to stop people from living out their comic-book fantasies.
“Every citizen should do something of that nature,” says the Eye, who says he uses his skills as a former private eye to solve crimes. “I just use the persona to protect the identity and do it with a little style, I suppose.”
It’s easy for the casual observer to wonder what the hell Zetaman or any superhero is accomplishing when the country is dealing with serious issues like the fifth anniversary of the start of the war in Iraq or the threat of a recession. And it’s just as easy to laugh at any superhero’s MySpace page, Zetaman’s included.
If you went online right now and accused him of being a supergeek, you certainly wouldn’t be the first.
But consider this: If our life is basically a quest for identity and purpose, real-life superheroes have a huge advantage on ordinary mortals. And for that, they credit the Internet—a world where users can instantly create new personas and seek out others with the same interests.
Dr. Gordon Nagayama Hall, a University of Oregon psychology professor, says real-life superheroes probably have an inflated sense of self-worth, even as they help the innocent.
“Some of us might do those things without the costume,” he says. “The sort of bizarre nature of it suggests to me they might be looking for some kind of recognition that might stem from some narcissistic process.”
The Web merely feeds that impulse, he says. “These Internet groups create this support that actually emboldens people to go out there and act out their fantasy.”
Or as Zetaman puts it, in less academic terms: “It’s a pretty easy club to join. All you need is a costume and a MySpace page.”
Watch Zetaman hand out burgers to the homeless!
 Illustration by Ron Chan |
It’s taboo in the superhero world to call them by their real names. But by day, Zetaman is Illya King, a married man with no kids. He makes about $40,000 a year, lives in a two-bedroom apartment in Beaverton, drives a 1998 Ford minivan with 96,000 miles on it, and has no criminal record.
Zetaman declined to reveal where he works or what he does for a living, because, he says, he’s concerned about strangers showing up and harassing him on the job.
His stated motives for being a superhero range from the quotidian (“having a cool costume, having a cool identity”) to the quixotic (“helping as many people as I can as selflessly as I can”).
He hesitated to reveal his name for this story because, he says, his true identity is inconsequential. He insists he doesn’t want to draw attention to himself, but to serve as an example. And there’s another, more pressing reason Zetaman hesitates to identify himself: an alarming incident last month in California.
In an unprecedented turn, Zetaman’s superhero buddy Ragensi, who patrols the town of Huntington Beach, Calif., in a black ninja costume, says he was attacked by what appeared to be an unknown supervillain.
Nothing is known of the attacker, Zetaman says, except that he wore special pads used by other superheroes and seemed to be well-prepared, lurking in wait. He used martial-arts moves against Ragensi, who managed to escape using his own fighting skills.
Ragensi did not respond to WW’s requests for an interview. But Zetaman says the unprovoked attack made him redouble his reluctance to identify himself. “We’re still pretty freaked out by the whole thing,” Zetaman says.
Crazy as it may sound to the rest of us, the superhero community has long feared the possibility that supervillains may emerge to confront them. But even after Ragensi’s run-in, Zetaman says it never occurred to him that he could be a target. His costume is more low-profile than Ragensi’s ninja garb, and on the nights WW patrolled with Zetaman, he drew no stares on the streets of downtown. Even the people he helps rarely realize he’s a superhero.
Zetaman’s origins date back to 2006, a time when he was going through a rough stretch in his personal life. Both he and his wife had temporarily lost their jobs, and at the same time they were hit with thousands of dollars in medical bills when his wife suffered a miscarriage. As the couple sank into debt, collection agencies turned nasty, filing claims against them in court for more than $5,000.
But the Portland megachurch they were attending put more of an emphasis on money than other churches they had gone to, pushing the faithful to give at least 10 percent of their pre-tax income to receive the full blessings of God. The couple couldn’t put up that kind of cash. Friends began praying for them.
“We felt like we were charity cases,” Zetaman says. He made a vow. “I’m gonna find a way to make my name for something. I’m basically gonna stick it to the man. That’s how it started off.”
A comics fan since he was a kid growing up in California, Connecticut and Vancouver, Wash., he was tooling around online and found a website for Mr. Silent, an Indianapolis-based superhero. A search brought him to others, including Dark Guardian and Squeegeeman, both in New York.
(Squeegeeman is on the campy end of the superhero spectrum. His MySpace page claims he fights “crime and grime,” and shows videos of him participating in the 2007 AIDS Walk New York and giving out water during the city’s 100-degree heat wave last summer.)
Zetaman was impressed, but his search turned up no local superheroes. “I was kind of shocked that there was nothing like this in Portland,” Zetaman recalls. “Our motto is ‘Keep Portland Weird.’ Where’s all the weird people?”
He created a Yahoo account to establish a new identity online. He started working out, dropping 10 pounds on his 5-foot-6-inch frame, bringing him down to 200 pounds. And he hit the stores to buy his first costume: a spandex shirt from Wal-Mart, leather jeans from Hot Topic and boots from cryoflesh.com, a goth website. At Party City he bought a zebra mask and remodeled it to fit his first identity: the Cat.
He made his public debut on Aug. 18, 2006, when he planned to patrol while a movie was showing on Pioneer Square. He arrived at a downtown parking garage about 10 pm, donned his Cat mask and stood gazing out over the city, when a woman got off the elevator to walk to her car and started screaming. Two bicycle cops swooped in to question him.
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 The Watchman: Zetaman hit the streets on a recent Saturday night, handing out cups of Starbucks coffee to the homeless. Besides a first-aid kit and self-defense gear, his utility belt holds a flashlight (above, left) and air horn (above, middle). IMAGES: leahnash.com |
“I thought, this is not cool. This is not gonna work at all,” he says. “I want to be a positive force, not some kind of a thug.”
Going against the advice of other heroes, he ditched the mask altogether and switched to Zetaman—a combination of Zorro and Superman, two of his favorite heroes, riffing off the Greek name for the letter Z.
Without the mask, he no longer incited public panic. But the costume remained a work in progress. He paid $70 for a full-length spandex costume from Minneapolis-based Hero Gear, which outfits many of the Internet’s real-life superheroes. But the full-body suit didn’t fly.
“It kind of sucked,” Zetaman says. “I wasn’t feeling it.”
A $45 spandex shirt with the stylized “Z” on the chest worked out better. But his leather pants brought unwanted attention from certain men on Southwest Stark Street, so he switched to cargo pants instead. He says that cut down on the catcalls.
He keeps his identity secret from everyone but a few family members. His parents are still in the dark. “Here I am, almost 30, and I still care about what my parents think,” he says. “I have an outfit, I run around in the middle of the night, and I hang out with homeless people. So yeah, I’ve kind of avoided that conversation.”
His wife of seven years, Allison King, 30, says at first she was apprehensive because she worried about his safety. But now she fully supports him. “He’s just my hero,” she says. “One of the things I fell in love with him for, he cares about other people so much.”
Now Allison accompanies him on patrol in civilian clothes, helping him pass out food and occasionally filming video she posts on YouTube. “It’s not how I thought I would be spending time with my husband,” she says. “But it’s awesome.”
Zetaman’s not into superhero kink, but he once slipped into bed in uniform. It didn’t work out. “It just felt too stupid,” he says. “I was just laughing.”
Watch Zetaman give blood!
Vigilante justice has a controversial history, from Old West posses seeking revenge against Native American tribes to today’s Minuteman Civil Defense Corps patrolling the Mexican border. But the work of Zetaman and other superheroes appears to stay within the law.
Most states allow a citizen’s arrest if a crime is being committed. No permits are needed to carry Zetaman’s chosen weapons of batons, Mace or Tasers, at least in Portland. And while it may be eccentric to do community service in spandex, no one’s been arrested for impersonating a superhero.
A nationwide community-policing group called the Guardian Angels has existed legally for decades, including a local chapter that patrols the MAX line in Portland in their trademark red berets.
Though controversial with some critics, Guardian Angels leaders insist the group is a benefit to the public. Carrying no weapons, they travel in groups, concentrating on public places where people feel menaced. Zetaman and other heroes say their mission is little different.
“I certainly applaud him,” says Curtis Sliwa, who founded the Guardian Angels in New York in 1979. “He’s not getting paid for this. He’s risking his life, and he’s helping those who can’t help themselves.”
Cops take a different view of Zetaman.
“I think he’s going to get in big trouble,” says Sgt. Doug Justus of the Portland Police Bureau’s Drugs and Vice Division. “As soon as you start interfering with a crime in progress, if the guy doesn’t identify you as a police officer, I think you’re asking to get hurt.”
The upsurge in superhero activity across the country appears to have caused no complaints elsewhere. Even in Mountain View, Calif., where the Eye claims he uses light-emitting diodes to temporarily blind people while he’s solving crimes, local police spokeswoman Liz Wylie says cops there have never heard of him.
Zetaman says he’s only once stopped a crime in progress—honking his horn to scare off a guy trying to steal cars downtown. He’s lectured a few drug dealers, but unless there was a person in immediate danger, he says he’d be more likely to call the police on his cell phone than try to stop a crime himself.
“I guess it sounds kind of less heroic, but I don’t want to die,” he says. As for taking out gangs and other organized crime, he says he simply doesn’t have the time or the resources. “I wish I had a million dollars, like Batman,” he says. “But I’m just one guy out there. I’m not strong enough.”
Watch Zetaman clean up litter!
In the past two years, superheroes say their numbers have exploded, largely due to MySpace, the social networking site that’s grown over the same time with its M.O. of allowing users to forge a fake identity and communicate with each other while remaining completely anonymous.
Hundreds of MySpace users pose as superheroes, but Zetaman—who’s intensely involved in the superheroes’ online community and set up several of their most popular bulletin boards—estimates fewer than 30 nationwide actually go out on patrol. As Zetaman suggests, the only requirements to be a superhero seem to be a costume and a nickname, though several also claim to have psychic powers.
Master Legend, a superhero from Winter Park, Fla., claims he can sense when people are in danger. He also says he has super strength and healing powers. And he’s not afraid to beat up bad guys like crack dealers, starting out by taunting them in his superhero costume.
“They just don’t know what to think of that. It shocks them,” he says. “They can’t help themselves any longer, and they come and attack me, and it’s showtime. And you can hear from me laughing how much I love it. I love to jump into action.”
Heroes in Florida and New York claim to have no trouble finding street crime, but Portland’s darkest alleys are a safety zone by comparison. Zetaman tried patrolling in the parks around Portland State University (don’t people get mugged in parks?). Still no dice.
His 70-plus nights on the street have led him to the conclusion that in Portland, the homeless are the real people in need. Now he wears a backpack stuffed with blankets, hats, gloves and socks to give away. He lugs bags of food and soda. One night last month he gave out five double cheeseburgers and five chicken sandwiches from McDonald’s, along with a 12-pack of Shasta cola.
Despite the fact that he’s still paying off his own debts, he says he spends about $100 a month out of his own pocket helping the homeless.
Besides giving out food, blankets and clothing, he also offers help getting to a shelter, or into a drug treatment program. But few accept the offer. “It sounds bad,” he says, “but people have to want help in order to get help. It took me a while to learn that.”
Zetaman’s do-gooder philosophy has taken heat from heroes who claim to take a more vigilante approach. His critics include Tothian, a New Jersey-based hero whose MySpace page says he “destroys evil.” Tothian told WW in an email that he once beat up seven armed men while on patrol.
The two heroes tangled on Internet chat boards last April after Tothian declared himself “leader” of the superhero community. But Tothian declined to criticize Zetaman in a WW interview. “Some things are not for the public eye or the media,” Tothian says.
Like many so-called online communities (see some of Oregon’s blogs on the political left and right as examples), legitimate differences and personal attacks have gradually eroded some of the group spirit that once united superheroes. Just like heroes and villains in comic books, they’re now divided into a number of opposing teams that occasionally come into open conflict online.
The conflict deepened when some heroes began calling openly for violence. “It’s pretty bizarre, the emoed-out kids that are more into the dark side of doing this,” Superhero says. Zetaman says he regrets his role in designing one of the message boards. “Now it’s more like this mini homeland-terrorism site, and it pisses me off,” he says.
After a tiff that Zetaman dismisses as “Internet drama,” Tothian kicked Zetaman off that bulletin board, known as Heroes Network. Zetaman in turn founded the Alternates, a group that includes the Eye and Ragensi. The three are holding a secret meeting in San Jose this May to get better organized, hoping to form a new West Coast superhero squad.
Zetaman also hopes to start up a Portland-based group. “I want to move on to where it’s not just me,” he says. “I think more people should pick up a comic book and say, you know, maybe I don’t have to be so gray all the time.”
Zetaman broadcasts a superhero-themed live radio show online each Thursday night at midnight. You can hear it any time at blogtalkradio.com/thealternates.
Superbarrio, a real-life superhero in Mexico City, has gained fame since 1995 by organizing labor rallies and protests and filing petitions to stop government corruption.
Find real-life superheroes online:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real-life_superhero
freewebs.com/heroesnetwork/
thealternates.org
myspace.com/zetamanofportland
myspace.com/masterlegend
myspace.com/ragensi
myspace.com/eyewatch_24_7
myspace.com/darkguardianhero
myspace.com/squeegeerific
myspace.com/tothian
Thanks! Zetaman and I are so happy that you feel this way. We have a few kinks to work out but we are planning on kicking out some merchandise really soon. If you would like, send me your email address and I can let you know when it happens. You can reach me at bokbokbagok@hotmail.com I'd love to let you know. Thanks for the support.
Allison King (Mrs. Zetaman)
Just another example of the 20-something prototypical attention-starved generation that is so prevalent on all those inane reality shows who crave 15 mins. of fame for personal glory as the real motive in the end. Please just try to lead a regular, humble quiet private life. Yet another slow news week at WW, eh?
Unlike those quiet, unassuming baby-boomers who never did anything the teensiest bit out of the ordinary?
Seems to me he WAS leading a regular humble private life until WW sought him out for an interview. At least he's doing something, at his own expense no less.
Interesting. I think there's probably going to be a generational difference in the interpretation of this. As somone who works with homeless people and with true "heroes" who've been doing this for years WITHOUT a fucking costume and with their real names, I find this kind of offensive.
So Allison, you're going to kick out some merchandise real soon..... nothing like exploiting the poor and making money on the backs of the homeless. Congratulations on your utter obliviousness.
So: if the proceeds from merchandise sales go to help the homeless, will you still be offended? The guy's already dropping 3% of his income on his efforts despite having his own debts to pay off. Can you really condemn someone for having a hobby that helps others?
Yes because we all know they couldn't possibly use the money earned to help the homeless and less fortunate. Why does it matter that you've worked with the homeless without a costume and he does? Does that make you some how better then him?
WW asked him to do this interview, not the other way around.
We have a Cafepress site right now that we are adding items to, and all proceeds go to charity.
Well i call bullshit on "Zetaman" since he & his wife belong to a MEGACHURCH!
If you read the article it says they USED to belong.
Why the hell is that relevant?
Zetaman is an amazing person and doesnt deserve people saying such awful things as some of you idiots have written. He is helping people without asking for anything in return. The fact that he wears a costume is just a cool extra. If only more people were as caring as him!
I hate to think of "helping others" as a hobby. I found this story offensive because the only thing unique about this guy is the costume and the superhero name. There are so many people out there working everyday down on the front line with homeless and disadvantaged people. And this story shows ignorance, mostly on the part of the writer, when it states over and over that this is something unique. But I guess it is when you add the costume and weird sub-culture. For me, there was just too much in this story the said people are doing this for their own ego fullfillment. And now this guy's wife is going to roll out some merch. Well, maybe that's great if the money is going to a good cause, but I just get the feeling that they, and a lot of the rest of you don't get it. Don't use disadvataged people to give youself a boost. Their lives should not be your fucking hobby.
The whole thing wreaks of insensitivity and ignorance.
Well put, Jan. The unsung heroes who truly choose to help those living in poverty and suffering from homelessness have always been there. They are under the Burnside Bridge every Tuesday, Friday and Sunday night, at Potluck In The Park every Sunday, at missions and shelters daily and they don't need a silly costume. They do it without publicity and a MySpace site. They serve because they care about others not their own egos. They are my heroes.
You've got to be kidding. How could anyone who contributes to the problem be considered wrong or unwelcome? This is like saying, how dare you not make your caring about this situation full-time! Stop stamping your puritanical, intolerant little feet and get real. Most of us have busy lives and we are not such nazis about the type of support others give. Giving counts! Honestly. No one cares if it is YOUR way, or the highway. The cause all benefits. My opinion is, get over your little self.
The uniform of a RLSH is meant to act as a symbol. It is a symbol that is meant to draw attention not towards the fact that the person wearing the uniform is doing good, but just that good is being done. It is meant to inspire people, and show them that it is ok to care about their fellow man in a way that they won't forget about on the drive home.
Instead of being offended that a costumed citizen is drawing attention away from a wider-established service, maybe you should take a few minutes to be glad that the public's awareness of the homelessness situation has still been raised by this article and this man's actions.
I was wondering how long it would take for the ASSHOLES to come out of the woodwork to start criticizing this guy for doing what he does - and it didn't take long. It sounds to me like "Jan" is just pissed off because s/he isn't featured in an article. Of COURSE there are people that have been and hopefully will continue to help the homeless people, and they don't get dressed up in costumes to do so. Does that fact mean that Zetaman is somehow NOT doing something good by doing the work he's doing? NO, it does NOT! Sounds like petty jealousy to me and just makes you sound like an immature jerk.
It just NEVER ceases to amaze me how there are ALWAYS people out there SO ready to SLAM and criticize people that are trying to do something good for others. If you don't think it's a good idea (what and how Zetaman is doing), then DON'T DO IT! However, shut the fuck up and let him do what works for him. Instead of SLAMMING someone for following THROUGH on doing something that they want to do and HOW they want to do something to help other, why not simply give him a little credit. At least he's not sitting at home BITCHING about the homeless and doing NOTHING about it.
Amazing - people just seem to get their rocks off sitting around and BITCHING and CRITICIZING someone that isn't EXACTLY how and what THEY think others should be. It's called "projection" and it is arrogant, selfish BULLSHIT. All you bashing little BRATS need to grow up or SHUT UP!
Two thumps up, Zetaman. You're doing something "good" and you're doing it your way. Don't let these ASSHOLES that comment their BULLSHIT on here get you down. After all, remember that Spiderman wasn't exactly loved by the masses either. ;-)
"Spiderman" was a fictional comic book character, geez.
I think that people, GROWN FOLKS who dress up as "superheros" & prance around in public like they're doing cosplay at some weird fantasy convention should seek professional help.
And you know, it's no wonder we have such things, as this states' mental health system is in utter shambles. I thought that playing RPGs on-line was bad enough, we have self-delusional lunatics running around "do-gooding", setting up myspaces & plotting their next "actions". C'mon, these are NOT superheros; these people need medication!
So I take it that James Pitkin listens to Cort and Fat Boy. This is when i first heard about Zetaman.
I find it amusingly ironic that the same people who criticize someone for helping people out under the blanket of anonymity are themselves anonymously posting trash-talk about him on an Internet site.
(I could ask what precisely you are doing to help the less fortunate, but the Internet is hardly the place to make a good point, is it?)
Equally hilarious are the people who claim that he's an attention-starved infant - yet can't resist soapboxing in as incoherent and obnoxious a fashion as they can muster just as long as it gets a rise out of people. (Not to mention that anyone using the online moniker of "Damos Abadon" calling someone a self-delusional attention-seeker is like hearing Mr. Pot and Mr. Kettle argue over their pigmentation. What, was the name "Douchebag MacAnti-Christ" already taken?)
WWeek isn't cramming the news down your throat, folks - if you're really that disappointed about the paper's reporting style, grow the fuck up and read something else. (I hear "Highlights for Children" sports some cutting edge journalism that's more geared to your maturity level.) Complaining about a paper's content is one thing, but then compulsively reading the next issue in the blind hopes that the journalism elves have snuck into the printing house overnight and improved upon the articles' contents with their little hammers and chisels is kinda stretching it, people. You're like those Religious Right leaders who complain about the presence of gay porn on the Internet because it somehow magically appears on their computers when they look for it - it's got to be the content's fault that people keep looking at it right?
Call me Machiavellian in my attitude toward the lesser fortunate, but if the end result is the help of the homeless - who gives a shit about whether he wears a costume or not? Not to belittle anyone's work or efforts, but volunteers working at soup kitchens and helping squatters is something that happens every day. How many people do you know help the homeless while wearing a costume they designed themselves? Not to point out the obvious, but that IS why they call it "news", dumbass.
And while you're getting all frothy and self-righteous about how a costumed eccentric is helping the homeless solely for ego-fulfillment, can you honestly tell me you AREN'T doing the same thing for the same motivation? C'mon, people. There are primarily two reasons why people volunteer to do ANYTHING charitable: because they've been told to do it as part of court-ordered community service or they like the warm, squishy feeling they get for knowing that they helped out someone who needed it. Well, guess what? That warm, squishy feeling is either your ego giving you an emotional smack-fix or your diaper needs to be changed. Just because someone isn't flagellating themselves every time they perform an act of piety, doesn't mean they don't believe.
As for treating helping the homeless like a hobby, it's like art: there are many I know who dabble, but I can't name too many people who have made it a career. (And for those that have eked out a living working in non-profits for the homeless, many of them bust their ass to such a degree that they'd probably welcome something like a costumed weirdo giving their cause much-needed positive exposure.) I'm sorry if "Zetaman's" costumed antics aren't enough for you, but he has a family of his own to care for, plus considering the shitty state our middle and lower classes live in nowadays, I think it's pretty fucking noble that he's willing to devote his time and money to helping other people out. Yeah, it's kinda hard to take someone who flounces around nightly in a costume of their own design, but if someone saves your life by giving you the Heimlich Maneuver, are you going to complain that they're dressed like Ronald McDonald?
I didn't bother reading all this silly bullocks you had to say. But let me point out that "Zetaman" got himself on the cover ov one ov Portlands' weeklys, which ought to generate a good bit ov publicity for his wife & all his phoney "do-gooding" adventures. Which kinda makes him a whore, but hey.
It was said in the article that these people often suffer from illusions ov grandeur, as well as an inflated sense ov self-worth. "Superhero", please! This nerd-train is about to derail, it's going soo over-board.
And FYI Aaron, "Douchebag MacAntiChrist" was indeed already taken, sinse it's become your business apparently.
You know, for someone who rags on "nerds," you've got an awfully silly web presence yourself: theegreatdepressor.multiply.com/
I honestly don't know what you mean, since it's pretty much how i conduct myself in real life.
It seems that i've got all these nerd-stalkers, now. Thank the Devil my address isn't on the internet.
Damos, I've seen many of your comments on several stories lately.
Please: it's spelled "of", not "ov".
Thank you & Good night.
Bozo McSpelldheck, if that IS your real name --- "ov" is the Olde world pre-Judeo/Christendom way ov spelling it. I believe i already told you that, or maybe that was some other bozo.
No, that was me. And you're still wrong.
Ov is the "Olde World" way of spelling it, huh? Would you be so kind as to pass along to all of your adoring fans the "Olde World" way of spelling pretension, you hyper-critical ass?
Hey I video tape myself walking right by homeless people without even acknowledging their existence then straight upload it to the youtube; and nobody wants to write a story about me. What gives? So I steal a Streetroots and use it to pick my doberman John Ross Ewing Jr.'s poo, he likes it for the articles. When lord? When is the Wilty Week going to knock on my door for an exclusive interview? When is this toolbag Damos going to quit being such a boring queef eater and say something interesting, and 'of' is spelled with two-v's big shot. Don't they have spell check at your daycare? Your name is your costume, hate-clown
It does my heart good to know that there are people out there taking the time to care for their fellow human beings in their own way. Nobody ever said community service had to be joyless drudgery. Keep up the good work Zetaman!
"The upsurge in superhero activity across the country appears to have caused no complaints elsewhere. Even in Mountain View, Calif., where the Eye claims he uses light-emitting diodes to temporarily blind people while he’s solving crimes, local police spokeswoman Liz Wylie says cops there have never heard of him."
Then what I'm doing is working just fine. You're not *supposed* to "see The Eye at work".
You know, i really don't get it.
A person does volunteer work, helps people through crisis, rescues animals, are big brothers/sisters to children, volunteers tax services for poor people, recycles, helps keep their neibourhood clean, helps addicts & abuse victims, lawyers who do pro-bono work, etc. ALL these people do such things anonymously without asking for rewards or big acknowlegments.
But some chubby, self-absorbed loser...[reprehensible dig at Zetaman's wife removed -ed.]...dresses up like a complete dork, makes a myspace (like that's anything special), makes abunch ov stupid youtube videos ov him handing nasty dumpster burgers to street kids, & HE gets a cover story in WW?!
Is this really about DOING GOOD DEEDS, or is this [moreso] about some pathetic nerds who take their comic books waaay too fucking seriously?
"You know, i really don't get it."
Apparently not.
"...or is this [moreso] about some pathetic nerds who take their comic books waaay too fucking seriously?"
As opposed to a pathetic nerd who takes a local weekly news-rag so seriously he has to bitch about every article in his own net-stylized "Olde English"?
Well Aaron, if you've got a problem with the 1st Amendment, as well as constructive criticism, then maybe you ought to just move to Russia or Saudi Arabia.
Our world is in crisis. Zetaman, "normal" people will not understand what you are doing, but it is a nessessity. We are all in this together to help make our future a brighter one. Those who critizise your efforts are only stating the faults they have within themselves. Those who support you believe that we can rise above our own limitations and inspire others to greatness. I am Guardian Shield, "future Oregonian superhero". Thank you for leading the way.
Oh great, another bafoon who thinks he's a superhero.
Why "future" Oregnian superhero? Your mother hasn't finished sewing your tights yet?
So because he brings attention to himself, he's a whore? And he should just do the good deeds quietly and in anonymity? By that rationale, no one should do anything or anything. Abolish pay for work because everyone with a job is a whore. And dating/marriage since getting the attention of someone else is whoring. We should also all wear Logan's Run jumpsuits because clothing choice is whoring too.
Look I'll be the first to admit that I think the dude is a bit off and he's not the kind of guy I would hang with. But he IS doing something that benefits others (yes, yes, I get your belaboured point that he should do these things without drawing attention to himself). But look, if the alternative is for him and others like him to NOT do good things, I prefer some freaks doing good with a little fun/fanfare/attention. I'm not going to be seeking out his MySpace page but someone else will and good for them. Maybe they'll do some good too. WAIT A MINUTE! could that be his diabolical plan?? Attention = Inspiration (or at least the possibility of inspiration). What this world needs is more people getting off their ass and doing good things. If going back home and blogging about it is the carrot to get people moving, so be it. It's better than another season of The Real World, Survivor, Big Brother, etc.
And why can't there be some gray in the spectrum of community service? Why does it have to be "give your life non-profits" or "don't do anything at all"? It's such an American thing to only be able to handle two choices...
I do volunteer work with another organization. We visit older people in nursing homes, you know the ones that have no one to visit them or are dropped off and forgotten. I think Zetaman is a wonderful person for helping homeless and in his own way. Go ZETAMAN!!!
Go Zetaman! Some of these whining people whose attendants let them within a mile of a computer should have their meds checked and be sent to their corners for a time-out. Not to mention their meds checked and dosages changed.
If people choose to quietly do good deeds, that is their choice. To criticize others such as you, is bad form and should not even be acknowledged.
To say bad things about your wife and the loss of your child is beyond reprehensible. Sad that that those from the shallow end of the gene pool are able to access computers, although they certainly show their ignorance and lack of brain cells along with their lack of human decency.
The term "douchebag" leaps to mind.
I feel that it's been lost upon most folks here that this "Zetaguy" & his wife were once members ov a MEGAchurch, uhm hello.
I hope all you people are listening, because this is important shit to know.
Megachurches are usually politically active & get awfully riled up during election years. Think ov 'em as a great big mounds ov angry fire ants(GRRRRR!)... only homophobic. Such megachurches & it's psychotic members were key in the 2004 vote when soo many ov these mindless bafoons voted for Bush a 2nd time over [basically] two issues: GAYS & ABORTION. Megachurches are corperations that funnel money to Republikkkan/CONservative causes. This is why i don't like nor trust this "Zetaman", b/c i think he's a goddamn fraud to say the least. FIND OUT what church he & his wife used to belong to; find out what church they're apart ov now. Trace the source, get the dirt - there's plenty ov it, i garantee you that!
Remember back in the 1970's/'80's there was this guy who was often seen at sporting events with a rainbow wig & a hand-made sign that simply read "John 3:16"? Remember how he got all that attention & he became this sort ov novelty news item. And people thought that, maybe, he was alittle off; not even that really, just eccentric. Alittle goofy & cute perhapes, but otherwise perfectly harmless? HARMLESS?
Remember when that guy turned out to be a raving, bat-shit crazy lunatic on the verge ov starting another Waco? Yeah, that asshole is CURRENTLY doing the Lords' work behind bars, serving 3 consecutive life terms for kidnapping. To see what i'm talking about, just google *rollen stewart*.
So go right on ahead, people. Pay attention to this "Zetaman". Pay CLOSE attention to him. He's obviously got most ov you all fooled with his goofy hijinks.
When you turn on your idiot boxes one day & see the man *formally* known as "Zetaman" doing the perp-walk b/c the Feds just busted him for plotting his own personal Armageddon, don't say i didn't fucking try & warn you!
That's right! Be afraid, be very afraid. Ov evweeting and evweeone. Especially people with pseudo-creative spelling of words like "ov"... hey wait a minute!
"Remember how he got all that attention & he became this sort ov novelty news item. And people thought that, maybe, he was alittle off; not even that really, just eccentric. Alittle goofy & cute perhapes, but otherwise perfectly harmless? HARMLESS?"
That kind of applies to you and your olde english crap doesn't it?
"That kind of applies to you and your olde english crap doesn't it?"
No, not at all. The main reason for that being, that i'm not some TWISTED CHRISTIAN FREAK playing dress-up & pretending to save the world.
If anything, i couldn't be more selfish.
You're the type of loser that got his ass kicked in school so much for dressing like a vampire that you have to trash someone actually doing some good.
There will always be someone to ridicule people to make them self feel better.
I'm sorry Zetaman got sand in your vagina but honestly what business is it of yours? Who the fuck are you? You think that Zetaman's eye's weren't open when he realized the church was all about money?
For your ignorant ass information, it's hard to come to terms with your religion being fraudulent. It takes more balls to be a compassionate man about it than it does to come crapping all over some dude who decided to try something positive. So what he puts n a costume? LOOK AT YOUR WEBSITE!! WHAT A FUCKING JOKE YOU ARE! It's like the pot calling the kettle black. What an idiot.
A loser who wants people to die. Go you!
Do us all a favor and give up your addiction to oxygen and make your exodus from existence.
Hows that for some gothic hatred?
Fucking pussy ass loser.
I do street outreach with homeless youth once a week and work with people who do it every single night of the year. Why have we NEVER seen or heard of this man?! Helping the homeless is a wonderful thing...but does he really exist?
Damos Abadon wrote: ""ov" is the Olde world pre-Judeo/Christendom way ov spelling it."
Interesting, since there was no letter V in the "pre-Judeo/Christian" Western alphabet. The letter U USED TO BE shaped like today's letter V, but the Romans had no letter V, just a slightly pointier letter U.
Why would anyone be against this? A person steps away from his/her ordinary life for a few nights every week, makes people smile and helps other people out. You want to stop that? You think these people are freaks? WHY?
People like Zetaman remind us there is still magic in this world.
For the record, I'm not a member of any superhero network. (It made me happy typing that though -- that there are actual underground networks of costumed crimefighters that I can deny membership of.)
Zetaman is an inspiration. It is great to read about someone who has found a purpose and meaning in their life, and does so in such a colorful way. This story has that Sci-Fi channel show beat.
Where can we buy bumper stickers to promote and support him?