Combo No. 1: College Athletics Scandals With a Side of Illiteracy

[April 9th, 2008]

WINNERS

1 While we froze our asses off in dreary Portland, Oregonian staffers jetted south last week to 70-degree Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, to cover two spring-breaking PSU hoopsters who were thrown in jail in connection with an assault. Expense accounts of margaritas and suntan lotion? We’re dripping jealousy.

2 A big win for U.S. Attorney Karin Immergut and her staff. The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals reversed federal judge Ancer Haggerty’s dismissal of indictments against execs of Wilsonville-based Flir Systems. The judges of the Fightin’ 9th said Haggerty was wrong to blast Immergut’s troops for improperly using info gained in a civil case to pursue charges against the Flir execs.

3 The Oregon attorney general’s office returned a squeaky-clean audit of the Oregon Association of Minority Entrepreneurs and founder Sam Brooks last week. The audit clears both OAME and Brooks of wrongdoing in two real-estate transactions questioned by WW (see “Real Deals,” WW, July 25, 2007) and The Oregonian.

LOSERS

1 Pearl District condo owners are likely to get a view of an ugly concrete slab after Mayor Tom Potter and the City Council killed Commissioner Sam Adams’ plan to re-purpose the bridge as a bike corridor over I-405.

2 At last Friday’s City Club of Portland debate, Jeff Merkley pitched a real hardball to his opponent in the U.S. Senate Democratic primary: Would Steve Novick stand by his earlier assertion that U2’s Bono is “the most hypocritical human on the face of the earth”? Novick held his ground, noting that Bono advocates Third World debt relief but avoids paying taxes. Somewhere (Cabo?), Bono weeps behind $300 Armani sunglasses.

3 After rejections from pretty much every basketball coach who’s both breathing and has a brain, Oregon State University’s search for a new coach landed on Brown University’s Craig Robinson. Most notably, Robinson is Sen. Barack Obama’s brother-in-law. What, Roger Clinton wasn’t available?

4 Due to diminishing donations, Oregon’s SMART reading mentorship program will be cutting positions to save a million dollars. In most fine dining establishments Oregon’s next generation will be qualified to work at, people order by number anyway.