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ISSUE #34.23 • HEADOUT •
NIGHT CABBIE

“Vote Ron Paul? Who’s that, Sean Paul’s cousin?”

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BY NIGHT CABBIE | nightcabbie at wweek dot com

[April 16th, 2008]

“Vote Ron Paul? Who’s that, Sean Paul’s cousin?”

The two other young guys and I laugh. Ahead of us is a yellowing old Mercedes sedan with the phrase in question written on its rear window in shoe polish. The three of them have been cracking pretty good jokes and talking about girls since I picked them up around Reed College. They’re headed down to the Greek in search of phone numbers, and this plus their semi-douchey attire and cheerful sociability (plus the fact the joker’s black) suggests that they aren’t from the school.

“So man, what was Iraq like?” the joker asks the guy sitting next to him.

“It was all right,” he mumbles.

“Oh yeah?” I asked. “What did you guys do over there?”

“Just patrol, like go around the streets and stuff.” It’s clear he doesn’t want to talk about it.

“They got good girls over there?”

“No girls, man. They’re all wrapped up in these black ninja robes, only a slit for their eyes.”

“Like a Christmas present, you gotta unwrap it to see what’s underneath!”

“Naw, they get really angry if you talk to the women. There are some Westernized ones, but you can’t talk to them, either. It’s like part of the culture that you can’t talk to girls unless you’re family or married to ’em.”

“Bet you’re glad to be back here, huh?”

“You’ve got no idea.”

And they go back to arguing about who’ll get more numbers.












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Baba Padmanabhan  writes on Apr 16th, 2008 12:13pm

Why did Larry King’s interview with Dr. Paul, the night before Iowa Caucus was never aired? Why wasn't his interview with John Stossl for 20/20 televised? Who was behind his ban from the debate in NH the weekend before the primaries there?

S. Baumann  writes on Apr 16th, 2008 1:05pm

Shut up and vote for Obomba. Quit asking those unimportant questions about unimportant things such as the Federal Reserve.

 
Mike  writes on Apr 16th, 2008 9:32pm

S.Bauman, how in the world can you say that the subject of the Federal Reserve isn't important. If you are not informed about it, the Federal Reserve is only the biggest Bank in the United States and all they do is print and control the money supply in the United States as well as cause,inflation,recession, and depressions,by tightening and expanding the money supplies here in the United States.In other words, what they do is Print our American Dollar,sometimes too much of it and causing massive devalueing of our dollar, or tightening the availability of credit and make it harder for people to get loans. while they are printing our money, they are also loaning that money (that cost them nothing to print),to our government with interest, adding to the massive federal deficit, which is now at allmost $10,000,000,000,000. And growing more and more everyday. But yea you are right it isn't important.Get Real.

wtf?  writes on Apr 16th, 2008 6:27pm

as a black reedie: fuck you, dude.

 
S. Baumann  writes on Apr 16th, 2008 10:15pm

....sarcasm, man, it was *sarcasm*...

OK, I'm gonna abandon the floor to our columnist now...

 
Neck Ed  writes on Apr 17th, 2008 9:26am

Great post wtf.

Whether or not you're *really* black is unimportant.

S. Baumann  writes on Apr 16th, 2008 9:20pm

As a white guy who has not one ounce of racial guilt, nor, I might add, parents who can afford Reed's outrageous 40K tuition, alls I can say is, read up on the real rulers of this nation, dude.

S. Baumann  writes on Apr 16th, 2008 11:06pm

oops, the comment about how it was sarcasm was meant for "Mike." "WTF," I forgot to add that one very compelling reason for looking into the history of the Federal Reserve and it's seemingly endless parasitism is that these same blue-blooded banking families are in many cases still sitting on the blood money from their involvement in the slave trade.

Night Cabbie 3  writes on Apr 17th, 2008 4:39am

It's nice to hear that they're mixing up the country-club vibe a little bit. The comment in the article was, I think, a fairly obvious use of absurdity to make a point -- Reed College is one cracker-ass institution. I mean this is the same place where there was a big problem with graffiti calling for the lynching of a black professor (and friend of mine's father) a few years ago, right? And that in the midst of that, the same professor was constantly mocked in the college paper?

(Since there seems to be a lack of critical reading skills at that august institution, I'll point out that the above questions are rhetorical, and that the answer to both is yes.)

What I like most about the comment is that the issue is with the suggestion that Reed is overwhelmingly white, and not with the suggestion that its students are jerks. And Reed IS OVERWHELMINGLY WHITE - it's pretty amazing to me that you haven't noticed. I played Renn Fayre last year, and I've never seen so many blonde people. Aryan Nation up in that mug.

Stay classy Reed College, Portland loves you. Never mind the bulldozed hospital and community garden or the racist junkie students with trust funds, you're one of the best liberal arts schools in the country.

 
scriblious  writes on May 6th, 2008 4:16pm

Night Cabbie I think your facts are a little skewed here. The prof I believe you're referring to is very much respected and still chooses to teach there. The two newspaper satirists were petitioned by THE STUDENTS to resign. Reed offers substantial financial aid depending on income, like many similar colleges these days. And not everyone there is white Anglo. Some are kids who've worked really hard on their own to get there. Your exaggeration here amounts to promotion of hatred and your tone is so extreme it leads me to assume there is little or no substance to your claim. If you have a serious charge to make, make it seriously.

Ron Moss  writes on Apr 17th, 2008 8:22am

Is reed College still red?

jeff taylor  writes on Apr 17th, 2008 12:25pm

At the Country Fair, I met the self-described "oldest sergeant in Iraq." He had applied for leave to attend a family reunion, and it's not called the Fair Family for nothing. He didn't wear full kit, but there was desert camo integrated into his Fair duds, and the overarching impression was of a guy who had been checking IED's two weeks before but was now walking around in Paradise. I interviewed him and wrote it up for the Peach Pit, the fair newspaper, as a second-person viewpoint story.

I asked him what he thought about Iraq. "It's all right." Same answer as NC3's fare. Asked my Marine nephew, who just got back: same answer, same slow and cautious delivery. Asked two more returning vets, and guess what they said. I think it's some kind of military code that means, "I went, I lived; so far, so good." My nephew is going back, this time to the 'Stan, and my informant was also going to return to Iraq after the Fair. But Fair Magic broke his leg in Mannheim, getting off a plane, so he didn't return to combat.

The old sarge told me: "Don't believe ANYTHING you see on the news about Iraq. Nothing."

Parenthetically, any time I want to make some haughty Vermonter shut up about how wonderfully liberal and progressive their state is, four words: "We have Reed College." Pause. Beat. Sometimes they don't even know where Reed is buried, and that datum makes the maple-suckers go mute. Reed could use some more diversity; are there scholarships possible that might make it happen? Bill Gates, are you reading this?

Alyssa  writes on Apr 20th, 2008 7:23pm

Ron Paul was right about opposing Iraq from the very beginning. There's a great video on YouTube of him on the House floor debating the merit of going into Iraq. Congressional Republicans and Democrats should have listened to him. Keep telling the truth Ron, you're a real patriot.

 
dguetschow  writes on May 9th, 2008 12:49pm

One did - Paul Wellstone from Minnesota. He died in a plane crash soon after

jeff taylor  writes on Apr 22nd, 2008 11:26am

Amazing, how the power structure squeezed out Ron Paul. That'll teach him to oppose the liberation of Iraq. Wonder who will stand up against the liberation of Iran, when the time comes?

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