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ISSUE #34.26 • HEADOUT •
NIGHT CABBIE

I’ve had this stooped old alcoholic once before.

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BY NIGHT CABBIE | nightcabbie at wweek dot com

[May 7th, 2008]

I’ve had this stooped old alcoholic once before. He did a header in the Safeway parking lot—falling down drunk at 6 pm on a Tuesday. There’s a bouncer thankfully helping him out of the bar on this night. “Take me to where them racehorses is,” he grumbles in a low and guttural voice.

“Portland Meadows?” I ask him. It’s 11 pm; the track is long closed.

“I’m going to the house across the street from the racetrack,” he snarls. “I only got seven dollars.” That’s about how much the trip will cost anyway, so I tell him it’s not a problem.

He insists on giving me directions each step of the way, his breath stale and foul in the seat next to me. “I been at the hospital,” he says. In the interest of making conversation, I ask him which one.

He mumbles something about Emanuel being closed, that he was at the hospital up on that hill.

“OHSU?” I ask.

“The one up on the hill,” he says.

“The V.A.?”

“Thing’s on a hill, I don’t ask questions,” he snaps, and he clearly feels that I should adopt the same policy.

We pull into his dimly lit driveway, and when I grasp his hand to help him out of the cab, the callouses scratch my fingers. An overweight woman smoking a cigarette emerges from the dark and wordlessly ushers my charge toward a tool shed. I observe my new policy, get in the car, and drive off.












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jesus  writes on May 7th, 2008 11:26am

BORING.

jeff taylor  writes on May 7th, 2008 3:02pm

"Thing's on a hill. I don't ask questions .... feels that I should adopt the same policy." That para cracked me up. Funny is not boring.

Falstaff  writes on May 7th, 2008 7:47pm

Hey, Jesus says you're boring, NC3 -- doesn't that mean you should hang it up? If the Son of God is on critic patrol, you know, it could be that continuing to write the awesome columns you write could be more trouble than it's worth.

As a Portland expat now loving in Australia, I just want to give you a quick thank-you for writing these, one of my favorite connections to the old hometown. Keep up the excellent work.

 
e  writes on May 9th, 2008 5:11pm

Second that, Falstaff.

Thanks, NC3.

-Eric Expat

Neck Ed  writes on May 9th, 2008 4:36pm

His Name's Obama something ... He'll unite us all. I don't ask questions.

Paul B.  writes on May 10th, 2008 12:59pm

I'll walk with Jesus. I mean the proof is right in front of you, 5 comments in 3 days=BORING. How's bout some substance NC! You have accepted an international responsabilty here!

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