May 14th, 2008
As I pull into the back parking lot of Spot 79 on Southeast Foster Road...13 comments
April 30th, 2008
When I call out to the Emanuel E.R.’s waiting room for my fare...13 comments
April 23rd, 2008
“No, really, I believe you,” I tell the old man.17 comments
April 16th, 2008
“Vote Ron Paul? Who’s that, Sean Paul’s cousin?”15 comments
April 9th, 2008
The young woman leans forward...7 comments
April 2nd, 2008
I ask the two guys if there's going to be a problem with the payment... | [CONTINUED FROM LAST WEEK] 20 comments
March 26th, 2008
For the first time ever, I flip the panic switch. 11 comments
March 19th, 2008
It’s raining so hard the water kicked up by my tires makes a slapping sound...5 comments
March 12th, 2008
I pick up the two teenagers in inner Southeast12 comments
March 5th, 2008
I’m thankful when I turn on the ignition that I’ve been listening to blues tonight6 comments
[May 7th, 2008]
I’ve had this stooped old alcoholic once before. He did a header in the Safeway parking lot—falling down drunk at 6 pm on a Tuesday. There’s a bouncer thankfully helping him out of the bar on this night. “Take me to where them racehorses is,” he grumbles in a low and guttural voice.
“Portland Meadows?” I ask him. It’s 11 pm; the track is long closed.
“I’m going to the house across the street from the racetrack,” he snarls. “I only got seven dollars.” That’s about how much the trip will cost anyway, so I tell him it’s not a problem.
He insists on giving me directions each step of the way, his breath stale and foul in the seat next to me. “I been at the hospital,” he says. In the interest of making conversation, I ask him which one.
He mumbles something about Emanuel being closed, that he was at the hospital up on that hill.
“OHSU?” I ask.
“The one up on the hill,” he says.
“The V.A.?”
“Thing’s on a hill, I don’t ask questions,” he snaps, and he clearly feels that I should adopt the same policy.
We pull into his dimly lit driveway, and when I grasp his hand to help him out of the cab, the callouses scratch my fingers. An overweight woman smoking a cigarette emerges from the dark and wordlessly ushers my charge toward a tool shed. I observe my new policy, get in the car, and drive off.
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"Thing's on a hill. I don't ask questions .... feels that I should adopt the same policy." That para cracked me up. Funny is not boring.
Hey, Jesus says you're boring, NC3 -- doesn't that mean you should hang it up? If the Son of God is on critic patrol, you know, it could be that continuing to write the awesome columns you write could be more trouble than it's worth.
As a Portland expat now loving in Australia, I just want to give you a quick thank-you for writing these, one of my favorite connections to the old hometown. Keep up the excellent work.
I'll walk with Jesus. I mean the proof is right in front of you, 5 comments in 3 days=BORING. How's bout some substance NC! You have accepted an international responsabilty here!










BORING.