[December 17th, 2008]

Party Like it’s 1975

Devil’s Point (5305 SE Foster Road, 774-4513) hosts its fourth annual Mustache and Bad Christmas Sweater Contest. Entrants with the best ’stache and worst sweater will win gift certificates to Sizzler and lots o’ porn. You’d better hurry with the sweater search: When we asked Ray (of Ray’s Ragtime) if he had any in stock, he said, “Oh God, you’re a week too late.” 9 pm Wednesday, Dec. 17. 21+. Free.

Grow ’Em for Charity

Want more mustache? Mustaches for Kids’ second annual ’Stache Bash, a hirsute “cross between a beauty pageant, dog show and police lineup,” returns. All proceeds go to donorschoose.org. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., m4kpdx.blogspot.com. 9 pm Thursday, Dec. 18. $5. 21+.

Season of Lube and Jizz

Darklady, Portland’s mistress of masturbation, hosts a Dinner & Porn Date Night with screenings of This Ain’t the Munsters XXX and Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?, a buffet by Rumpspankers Beyond Broth, and plenty of Astroglide. Village Ballroom, 700 NE Dekum St., darklady.com. 7 pm Friday, Dec. 19. $30, $50 couples. 21+.

Eat Lead, Santa

The Northwest Film Center screens 10 classic noir flicks in its Black Christmas mini-festival. Don’t miss the festival opener, Sunset Boulevard, or Saturday’s Hitchcock double feature. Festival opens 6 pm Friday, Dec. 19, and continues through Dec. 28 at the Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park Ave., 294-0874. $8.

Holidays with Mama

Get groovy with Gaia at Living Earth Gatherings’ Winter Solstice Celebration, featuring a vegetarian potluck dinner, music by Sky in the Road, dance by Caravan Dance Collective and a “fire/candle ceremony.” Friends Meeting House, 4312 SE Stark St., livingearthgatherings.org. 6:30 pm potluck, 8 pm ceremony, Saturday, Dec. 20. $15 suggested donation.

^Headout Picks

WEDNESDAY DEC. 17

[MUSIC] BLIND PILOT
Local indie-pop starlets Blind Pilot celebrate 2008 with Loch Lomond and the Old Believers. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 233-1994. 8 pm. $12. All ages.

THURSDAY DEC. 18

[WORDS] DAME DARCY
Dame Darcy’s comic-book series Meat Cake fuses an obsession with old Victorian style with a concern for the environment, orphans and the search for gasoline pits. CounterMedia, 927 SW Oak St., 226-8141. 6 pm. Free.

FRIDAY DEC. 19

[MUSIC] KMRIA
Portland’s all-star Pogues cover band only plays twice a year, and this time you can smoke along one final time to “Fairytale of New York.” Dante’s, 1 SW 3rd Ave., 226-6630. 9:30 pm. $12 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

[PERFORMANCE] CABARET BORIS AND NATASHA
In the finest holiday-buffet tradition, CBN offers a little bit of this (Mizu Desierto Butoh Theatre) and a little bit of that (video art), plus a dollop of spoken word. Performance Works NW, 4625 SE 67th Ave., 777-1907. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, Dec. 19-20. $8-$15.

[WORDS/PERF] LIVE WIRE!
The vaudeville/live-radio hybrid celebrates the holidays with Marc Acito, supergroup Blue Giant and sketch comedy. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 233-1994. 8 pm. $15.

[COMEDY] THE ÜNCLES
Portland expats the Üncles left their hearts in the Rose City. They return for two nights of sketch comedy— welcoming committee demanded. Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th Ave., 248-1030. $12 advance, $15 day of show. Friday and Saturday, two shows (8 and 10 pm) each day. 21+.

SATURDAY DEC. 20

[SHOP] WINTER MARKET
The smell of sap on fresh-cut Xmas trees, hot cider to warm hands and hearts, and squash. All at the final Portland Farmers Market of ’08. South Park Blocks, between Southwest Harrison and Montgomery streets, 241-0032. 9:30 am-2 pm. Free.

[MUSIC] MICHAEL HURLEY
The enigmatic Hurley—whose take on country, folk and blues is peerless—plays the intimate confines of a vegan deli on his birthday. Somebody get this man a (vegan) cupcake! Paga G’s Vegan Deli, 2314 SE Division St. 8 pm. $3. 21+.

MONDAY DEC. 22

[CLASSICAL] IN MULIERIBUS
The superb women’s early-music vocal ensemble in medieval music plus the world premiere of Norwegian composer Wolfgang Plagge’s setting of the O Antiphons. St. Philip Neri Church, 2408 SE 16th Ave., 267-3028. 7:30 pm. $12-$15.