It’s All About...Inauguration Balls

[January 14th, 2009]

Judging from the rabble-rousing and ballyhoo that went down on the streets of Portland on Nov. 4, we’re guessing Jan. 20 is going to be off the hook. After all, Messrs. Obama and Biden are publicly giving birth to a new freedom! Who cares if it’s a Tuesday? This is historic. Consumer Whore says take the day off and throw yourself a party.

Here’s what you’ll need:

Decorations. Have you seen the infomercials yet? From the Obama commemorative coins and plates to the iconic Shepard Fairey posters, there’s a slew of Obama stuff to use as party decor. The schlockier the better. A cowbell sporting Obama’s face? That’s what we call a collector’s item. Hello, eBay. Obama cowbell, $4.95 . The Lippman Company, 50 SE Yamhill St., 239-7007, lippmancompany.com.

Costumes. Guys: Wear an “Ass Man” tee by No Star, because Obama’s the shit. Girls: Are you a big-money donor? Sport a D.C. ready red jumper by high priced local lovelies Church State. If not, rock a pretty cardigan by J. Crew, because Mama Obama loves her some all-American design for recession-friendly prices. “Ass Man” tee, $24. Rock n’ Rose, 616 E Burnside St., 239-3901, rocknroseinc.com. Red Church State jumper, $460. lovechurchandstate.com; J. Crew cardigans, around $50-$120. jcrew.com.

Eats. While Illinois’ politicians—aside from Ba-Rock, of course, who’s Hawaiian anyway—might leave a bad taste in your mouth, those Chicago-style hot dogs are damn good. Mmmm. Vienna Beef. Jumbo Chicago Red Hot, $4.50. Wayne’s Chicago Red Hots, 3901 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 493-4537, wayneschicagoredhots.com.

Activities. A public reading of Goodnight Bush. We know, we know, it’s the end of an error and the birth of a new tomorrow, but we can’t resist one last sucker punch. Goodnight Bush: An Unauthorized Parody, $10.50, Powell’s, powells.com.

Souvenir. Great idea—collect 75 Election Day front pages from U.S. newspapers and reprint ’em in one special book. Psst: WW’s own “O, Yeah!” cover’s in there! Election 2008 Front Page Collection, $17. Available at poynter.org or wweek.com/store.

Prop. You need a jar o’ change. Set it up and see who gets the joke first. Mason jar, $4-$6. Kitchen Kaboodle, kitchenkaboodle.com.