Gossip Should Have No Friends

[July 1st, 2009]

• AUSSIES LOVE TATERS: If you were hanging out at the food carts on Southeast 12th Avenue and Hawthorne Boulevard on Saturday night, you might have noticed a dude in a red cape and onesie singing in front of Potato Champion as the cameras rolled around him. Don’t be alarmed: It was only Nurses singer Aaron Chapman. It turns out Australian-based online video collective Shoot the Player was in town to capture clips by Stumptown bands Tender Forever, Lovers and Nurses, who performed stripped-down acoustic versions of “Man at Arms” and “Caterpillar Playground” while a group of drunk kids on fixies ordered poutine. “We were hungry and somebody suggested we grab a bite here,” Shoot the Player’s Amelia Tovey told WW. “I think this might be the weirdest location we’ve ever done.”

• HEE-HEE: How did Portland mourn the death of Michael Jackson last Thursday? By riding bikes and zombie dancing in the street. In other words, by doing what Portland does every night, but with more Michael Jackson songs. The BikePortland-improvised MJ memorial bike ride (complete with a “Thriller” zombie dance on Northeast Alberta Street and a eulogy honoring Jackson as “a man who will surely in no one’s mind be remembered as an advocate, activist, or enthusiast of bicycles”) caught the admiring eye of The New York Times, which mentioned the event in its Page 1 obituary. It also drew the ire of cycling blogger “Bike Snob NYC,” who griped Friday: “If I were not already a cyclist and I was headed to a bike shop to purchase my very first bicycle, and on the way I saw a bunch of people riding around dressed like Michael Jackson, I’d probably rethink the whole thing and start pricing motorcycles instead.” IMAGE COURTESY OF: Jonathan Maus/BikePortland.org

• NOT NOW APOCALYPSE: Portland’s restaurant massacre took a break last weekend, as Micah Camden secured his Killingsworth empire with the opening of meta-brunch spot Fats (his fourth establishment at the corner of Northeast 30th Avenue and Killingsworth Street) while Kevin Ludwig unveiled his much-anticipated inner-Southeast cocktail joint Beaker and Flask. But did either of these establishments offer vegan barbecue? No. Which means the most important culinary debut last week was the Homegrown Smoker all-vegan barbecue pit, which held its grand opening at Last Thursday on Alberta Street. In a gravel lot on the corner of Northeast 23rd Avenue, alongside an old-fashioned popcorn machine and a keyboardist banging out a mournful rendition of Michael Jackson’s “Don’t Stop ’Til You Get Enough” (sob!), fresh-faced brother-sister duo Jared and Clara Ridabock greeted customers with smoked soy curls on pita bread and tempeh ribs with a side of Mac No Cheese. IMAGE COURTESY OF: homegrownsmoker.wordpress.com