Thursday December 27top

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Kwanzaa

Between Christmas and Hanukkah, our big-spending holidays appear just a little prissy when taken in a modernist American context—we drape everything in lights, we allow assholes like Andy Williams to sing songs, we exchange fruitcakes and get drunk. Africans, on the other hand, forgo the bells, tinsel and whistles for drums and reflections of self. Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center’s free Kwanzaa celebration is not only a prime place for those celebrating the holiday, but also a chance for people unfamiliar with the event to stop in and see what Kwanzaa is all about. The celebration features a self-portrait installation by artist Mo, as well as works by six other artists. Seven poets, including Blacque Butterfly and Madgestiq, are set to perform poems in the spirit of each principle of Kwanzaa, and the performances will be accompanied by traditional drumming. The event also features a Kwanzaa marketplace. Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center, 5340 N Interstate Ave., 4:30-7:30 pm. All ages. Free. Map

Saturday December 29top

One-Drop Shopping

The holidays are pretty much over, and the U.S. is ready for another glorious tradition—packing Dumpsters and landfills with enough holiday waste to wrap and ship the entire planet and give it to Neptune as a white elephant gift. Seriously, with the seas of wrapping paper, mountains of Styrofoam and fields of cardboard Santa leaves in his wake, it’s a Christmas miracle he hasn’t been taken down by the EPA, or at least assigned a special task force at the recent climate change conference in Bali. Most—with the exception of grannies who save used paper for next year (does this make Grandma green or cheap?)—don’t do much with this holiday waste except jam it into a garbage bag. But there’s some real creative potential in waste, and not just for artistic types. Buoyant mounds of Styrofoam could be bagged and used to keep a homemade raft afloat on the Willamette. Packing tape could be used to restrain an unloved family member. Cardboard boxes are great for building forts, and wads of wrapping paper—especially when lit on fire—are great for catapulting into corrugated fortresses. Bubble-wrap, when draped around the body, is nothing if not a suit of armor, rendering its wearer invincible. Now that It List has provided multiple ways for you and your loved ones to be killed by garbage—everything from burning to drowning to multiple contusions and suffocation—perhaps it’s time to get rid of that garbage once and for all, and in the greenest way possible. A gaggle of green-minded businesses—led by E-Waste Solutions—are partnering for the second year to collect waste. Document shredding; computer hard-drive destruction; plastic, cardboard and paper recycling are free, while disposal of electronics, trees and 30-gallon bags of Styrofoam can be disposed of for a small fee. The best part? It’s in a K-Mart parking lot, which means anyone can drop all this shit off, then head in for a Blue Light Special and get a jump on next year’s eco-disaster. K-Mart, 13750 SE Johnson Creek Blvd. Clackamas., (503) 659-6773. 7 am-4 pm, 722-0010. All ages. Free. Map

Monday December 31top

Casino (Not So) Royale

Still looking for something to do on New Year’s Eve? Why not get all Daniel Craig on somebody’s ass with the second annual Gamble for the Cure New Year’s Eve Gala in Tigard? There’s no better way to benefit a group like Susan G. Komen for the Cure than to get all fancy, guzzle some drinks and throw some craps. The casino-themed night, presented by Comotiv Systems and the WEB foundation, features blackjack, craps, roulette, dancing, a silent auction and a raffle, plus the $75 entrance fee is good for four cocktails (there’s a cash bar, too). Proceeds go to Oregon and Washington affiliates of Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Just remember, what happens in Tigard doesn’t stay in Tigard. Anyone looking for Vegas experiences, such as strangling a hooker with a stocking or a late-night wedding, will have to face the consequences. Embassy Suites at Washington Square, 9000 SW Washington Square Road., 644-4000. 8pm-1am, 816-3969. 21+. $75. Map

Seeking the Queen Bee

For the past year, the Portland Spelling Bee has in-nerdated Mississippi Pizza every Monday night. Now, with a pool of winners establushed, it’s time to crown a champiun. The Portland Spelling Bee is capping off the year with the 2007 Chapmionship. Past winners will compeet for a monster prize of $200, but also the glory of being the smartest kid in the bar and a year-long supply of wedgies from the winner of the 2007 bullying champiunship. Yet this isunt an exclusive event for winners—there are wild-card slots available to patrons attending, meaning some average joe could throw a monkey wrench into the proceedings by correctly spelling antidisestablishmentarianism. The event is preceded by a spelling bee for kids, where anyone under 21 can compete for a small prize. After the winner is crowned at the adults' event, the party shifts to New Year's mode, with Cooban music provided by Melao de Caña and the king or queen of the Bee warding off the multisyllabic advances of fallen spellers. Mississippi Pizza, 3552 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3231. 5:30 pm (kids' spelling bee), 7 pm (championship bee, 21+), 8:30 pm (New Year’s party). All ages. Free. Map