STAGE

Blue Roses and Mass Transit

Two new works from brand-new writing group Penplay: an asylum drama by Sandra de Helen with a cast featuring Jessica Zodrow, Cecily Overman, and Gary Norman, and a short film about societal isolation by Cassie Cohn. Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th Ave., 248-1030. 8 pm Tuesday, Jan. 15. By donation. 21+. Map

The Communist Dracula Pageant

Meet Dracula. No, not that Dracula, though he’s invited as well. We’re talking about the communist Dracula: Nicolae Ceausescu, the former dictator of Romania. Anne Washburn’s new play, running in a workshop production at defunkt theatre, ambitiously attempts to encompass in 95 minutes a sketchy history of the Romanian revolution, nuanced portraits of the dictator and his wife and some dime-store philosophizing about the nature of freedom. It doesn’t quite succeed. The defunkt ensemble has impeccable comedic timing, and the show’s humorous scenes manage to hold the audience’s attention, but the story loses steam during a few scenes that don’t quite make sense to the viewer who comes without prior knowledge of the December Revolution—that is, almost all of us. The show is, nonetheless, worth seeing for Kenichi Hillis’ bizarre, toothy performance as Vlad "The Impaler" Tepes. He steals the show. See review. (Playwright Anne Washburn will lead talkbacks after the show Feb. 8 and 9.) The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 481-2960. 8 pm Thursdays-Sundays. Closes Feb. 16. $10-$15. All ages. Map

The Curate Shakespeare As You Like It

Try as they might, this energetic cast can’t save a sinking script. This meta-theatrical farce is so thoroughly and distractingly self-conscious that it never really gets going. The premise is this: A traveling repertory company attempts to put on Shakespeare’s As You Like It. But things keep going wrong: Amiens (Jonathan Lay) can’t remember his lines; William (Zachary Koval) has an existential identity crisis; Rosalind (Christy Bigelow) has gone temporarily crazy. What results is a lot of lag, and dead-end questions (“but how can I be Audrey and Rosalind at the same time?”) that ought to have been asked in Intro to Dramatic Lit. The actors—although at times they play it like a high-school show—have a good sense of Shakespearean bawdiness, and they do their best to liven things up, keeping the audience in stitches until Act II, when things really slow down. Why, it must be asked, do professionals possessing otherwise fine senses of artistic good taste insist on producing this sort of self-indulgent stinker? JOHN MINERVINI. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego., 635-3901. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 7 pm Sundays, 2 pm Feb. 10 and 17. Closes Feb. 17. $23-$25. All ages. Map

The Ed Forman Show, with ME! ED FORMAN!

Unstoppable sketch comedian Aaron Ross is back with a new variety show starring himself as "success instructor" Ed Forman. AudioCinema, 226 SE Madison St., 750-5363. Call 467-4554 for reservations. 8 pm Friday, Jan. 12. $7. 21+. Map

Exit the King

A ruler who has run his country into the ground now refuses to let go. Sound familiar? Probably its resonance with our current national leadership crisis prompted Arts Equity to take on Ionesco’s political satire, and it does a fine job playing up the similarities. King Berenger (Rod Harrel) and his court speak with thick Texas accents, and Berenger himself makes apelike facial expressions and frequently lets fly a sinister airy cackle—heh, heh, heh—that will be instantly familiar to anyone with a TV. This spirited production—nimbly directed by Llewellyn Rhoe—successfully straddles the line between tragedy and farce, and it has the advantage of lending itself to contemporary allegory. Unfortunately, the script hasn’t aged well; what may have challenged audiences in 1962 drags in the new millennium. The second act features unforgettable monologues by Berenger and Queen Marguerite (Virginia Belt), and, in general, the performances are solid. However, not all characters speak with the same accent—the maid is French, the guard is German, and the actors step on each others’ lines. JOHN MINERVINI. The Main Street Theater, 606 Main St., Vancouver., 360-695-3770. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Feb. 16. $10-$24. All ages. Map

Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse

The story of Lilly, a kindergartener with a fab vinyl handbag. Brought to you by Oregon Children's Theatre. BEN WATERHOUSE. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 248-4335. 2 pm Jan. 19-20. $13-$24. All ages. Map

Musical Comedy Murders of 1940

This classic murder-mystery farce has singers dropping left and right. Rend me a tenor, if you will. BEN WATERHOUSE. Hillsboro Artists' Regional Theatre, 185 SE Washington St., Hillsboro., 693-7815. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Jan. 27. $7-$14. All ages. Map

My Little Pony Live!: The World's Biggest Tea Party

Dancing, prancing, booty-shaking ponies. BEN WATERHOUSE. Newmark Theatre, Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway., 248-4335. 7 pm Friday, 10:30 and 2 pm Saturday, 1 and 4:30 pm Sunday, Jan. 11-13. $15-$20. All ages. Map

Off Book

The New Group Theater Company combines forces with fledgling playwright David Gallic to help him get his first play out of his system. The bard pulls double duty here playing Corgan, an upbeat if lovelorn worker drone who realizes he is the star of his own comedic drama when he overhears his goofy narrator (Joel Korkowski) elucidating his every move. Director John Duncan makes a cameo as Director, stopping in to discuss the nature of theater and life in general with an enthusiastic cast as Gallic’s script references all the greatest hits from an Intro to Theater 101 required-reading list. Spontaneous musical outbursts and lengthy moments of uncertainty characterize this meta piece, which falls a little flat to an audience already exposed to Will Ferrell’s similar existential dilemma in Stranger Than Fiction. SAUNDRA SORENSON. Shoe Box Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-244-3740. 312-6789. 7 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Feb. 2. $10, cash only. All ages. Map

Raymond Carver: Word for Word

Readers Theatre Repertory presents three of the Oregon-born writer's best stories, read by an excellent cast under the direction of David Berkson. Blackfish Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., 234-2634. 8 pm Friday and Saturday, Jan. 11-12. $8. All ages. Map

Shackleton's Antarctic Nightmare

Storyteller Lawrence Howard tells the story of Ernest Shackleton's doomed mission to explore the ice continent. Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., 358-0898. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays. Closes Jan. 19. $12. All ages. Map

Shining City

In this sublimely written play by Conor McPherson, Ian (Michael O’Connell), an ex-priest turned therapist, and John (Bruce Burkhartsmeier), his first, and possibly only, client, cope with the problem of John’s wife, Mari, who died in a car accident months ago but keeps showing up around the house. Third Rail’s production showcases the impressive talents of director Slayden Scott Yarbrough, whose touch brings out a lot of congenial humor in what could easily be a very dour show. He also made a fine move in casting Burkhartsmeier, who plays guilt-ridden John as an unexaggeratedly anxious wreck. He fidgets, scratches and tears up subtly and powerfully. As John works through his talking cure in Ian’s shabby office, we start to wonder who really needs the therapy. An apparition in the foyer is one thing, but Ian’s haunted by the perfectly solid mother of his child (Val Landrum) and a crisis of sexual identity. BEN WATERHOUSE. Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center, 5340 N Interstate Ave., Call 235-1101 for tickets. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Feb. 2. $16-$25. All ages. Map

Where's My Money?

John Patrick Shanley's anti-marital comedy may read like a particularly bitter dramatic interpretation of "Love Stinks," but in the hands of Ben Plont and the ensemble at Theatre Vertigo, it becomes a delightfully absurd skewering of the things we do to the people we love. The solid cast's spot-on comedic timing brings out the humor in even the most dismally angsty of Shanley's scenes. The play's paranormal theme—ex-boyfriend comes back from the dead to collect on an old debt—seems superfluous, but goddamn if it isn't hilarious. BEN WATERHOUSE. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 306-0870. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays. Closes Feb. 9. $15. Thursdays are pay what you will. All ages. Map

ZAPATISTA

A new play by Dañel Malán about the life of Subcomandante Marcos, produced in English and Spanish by Miracle Theatre. BEN WATERHOUSE. El Centro Milagro, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 7:30 pm Thursdays, 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays and Jan. 19. Closes Jan. 19. $15-$20. All ages. Map

CLASSICAL

Arctic Light: Orthodox Music from Finland

There's something in the water. Finnish composers have been writing coolly austere choral music of note for the past century at least, but it's rarely heard outside Europe (they've been upstaged by those pesky-popular Estonians: Arvo Pärt, Veljo Tormis, Peter Eotvos). Props to capable Cappella Romana for offering up an ear-opening program of Finnish Orthodox choral music, all of it written in the 20th century. Father Ivan Moody—a recently ordained Orthodox priest rawkin' the cylindrical kamelaukion cap—leads the choir in its first program of the new year. STEPHEN MARC BEAUDOIN. St. Mary's Cathedral, 1716 NW Davis St., 228-4397. 8 pm Friday, Jan 11. $15-$30. All ages. Map

Chopin Piano Concerto No. 2 and more

This concert is totally non-stodgy. Except it doesn't make a lot of musical, historical, thematical, etc. etc. sense. (But should it? Does it need to? That's another argument for another column.) The Oregon Symphony's resident conductor, Gregory Vajda, trots out a grab-bag showcase of Bartók, Chopin, Debussy and Dukas (strange, yes?). Of note: rising Argentinian pianist Ingrid Filter, soloist in the Chopin Piano Concerto No. 2, and Bartók's massive orchestra showpiece, The Miraculous Mandarin, which the Symphony's tackling for the first time in 30 years. Oh, snap! STEPHEN MARC BEAUDOIN. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway., 248-4335. 7:30 pm Saturday-Sunday, 8 pm Monday, Jan 12-14. $15-$93. All ages. Map

Philharmonia Quartett Berlin

Berlin was all up in lights during Carnegie Hall's massive cultural fest this past fall, and the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra was one of the chief noisemaking attractions. This touring quartet, composed of current and former Berlin Phil principal players, sweeps through town courtesy of Friends of Chamber Music for a two-night series of Mendelssohn-Webern-Kurtág-Schumann (Monday) and Shostakovich-Beethoven (Tuesday). STEPHEN MARC BEAUDOIN. Portland State University, Hoffman Hall, 1825 SW Broadway., 725-3000. 7:30 pm Monday-Tuesday, Jan 14-15. $16-$32. All ages. Map

PYP Chamber Concert

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. This is the type of out-of-this-world chamber music program that makes one a) appreciate how smart and talented the young musicians of the Portland Youth Philharmonic really are, and b) make one long for our resident "elder" Symphony to take up the traveling chamber music banner (as so many other regional orchs do). For now, be lucky that you'll get to bathe in the sonic luxurity of Lou Harrison (Canticles for Percussion) and Gyorgy Ligeti (Bagatelles for woodwind quintet), with a Mozart viola quintet and the Saint-Saëns Fantasy for Violin and Harp also up to bat. And though TASHI is coming to town later this month with its definitive performance of the work, the PYP youngsters test put Messiaen's Quartet for the End of Time through a test drive, too. STEPHEN MARC BEAUDOIN. Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park Ave., 221-1156. 2 pm Sunday, Jan. 13. $8-$10. All ages. Map

DANCE