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STAGE

ASL Comedy Night

Deaf and hearing comedians trot out their finest American Sign Language routines for the eighth and final edition of the ASL comedy series. Voice interpreters will be on hand for the ASL-impaired. Embers, 110 NW Broadway., 222-3082. 7-9 pm Friday-Saturday. $5. 21+. Map

The Beard of Avon

There is a tremendous amount of labor on display at the Gerding Theater in Amy Freed’s nerdy comedy about who might have really written (at least according to a fringe contingent of conspiracy-minded scholars) the works attributed to William Shakespeare: From Deborah Trout’s stunning Elizabethan costumes and William Bloodgood’s handsome all-purpose set to the ensemble’s excellent comedic execution and a refreshingly restrained performance by Darius Pierce, it's blood sweat and tears all over. But the hardest labor of all must have come from Freed, whose intricate script is quick, clever and brainy, carefully tailored to appeal to a self-satisfied audience of lit majors and theater lovers. It must have taken ages to cram in this much trivia and artifice—but why bother? The play offers little in the way of moral or artistic satisfaction. It’s a tale told by an academic, full of in-jokes and bawdy humor, signifying nothing. See review. BEN WATERHOUSE. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays, 2 and 7:30 pm Sundays. Alternates with Twelfth Night. See wweek.com or pcs.org for more details. Closes March 16. $16.50-$61.50. All ages. Map

Believers

This work in progress from Fever Theater, ostensibly a musical about cults, has some promise and a lot of problems. What works: great hypnotic music by John Berendzen, some nice movement directions and a few excellent inversions of the usual relationship between audience and performer. What doesn’t: The sensation of otherworldliness is an admirable goal, but it’s not fully formed here—maybe the subway sequence could be the preamble, replacing the awkward pre-show mingling; don’t name-check Xenu if the show isn’t actually about Scientology (which it isn’t); Comedysportz-style audience participation is silly and disruptive, and has got to go; to what end does the ensemble act out the hyperstylized morality play, anyway? They don’t seem to know. If helping a very different sort of theatrical experience come to fruition doesn’t sound onerous to you, check out Believers and give Fever your feedback. They’ll put it to good use. BEN WATERHOUSE. , 1120 SE Main St., Suite #102., 381-6814. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays. Closes Feb. 2. Wear comfortable shoes. $10-$20. All ages. Map

The Communist Dracula Pageant

Meet Dracula. No, not that Dracula, though he’s invited as well. We’re talking about the communist Dracula: Nicolae Ceausescu, the former dictator of Romania. Anne Washburn’s new play, running in a workshop production at defunkt theatre, ambitiously attempts to encompass in 95 minutes a sketchy history of the Romanian revolution, nuanced portraits of the dictator and his wife and some dime-store philosophizing about the nature of freedom. It doesn’t quite succeed. The defunkt ensemble has impeccable comedic timing, and the show’s humorous scenes manage to hold the audience’s attention, but the story loses steam during a few scenes that don’t quite make sense to the viewer who comes without prior knowledge of the December Revolution—that is, almost all of us. The show is, nonetheless, worth seeing for Kenichi Hillis’ bizarre, toothy performance as Vlad "The Impaler" Tepes. He steals the show. See review. (Playwright Anne Washburn will lead talkbacks after the show Feb. 8 and 9.) The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 481-2960. 8 pm Thursdays-Sundays. Closes Feb. 16. $10-$15. All ages. Map

The Curate Shakespeare As You Like It

Try as they might, this energetic cast can’t save a sinking script. This meta-theatrical farce is so thoroughly and distractingly self-conscious that it never really gets going. The premise is this: A traveling repertory company attempts to put on Shakespeare’s As You Like It. But things keep going wrong: Amiens (Jonathan Lay) can’t remember his lines; William (Zachary Koval) has an existential identity crisis; Rosalind (Christy Bigelow) has gone temporarily crazy. What results is a lot of lag, and dead-end questions (“but how can I be Audrey and Rosalind at the same time?”) that ought to have been asked in Intro to Dramatic Lit. The actors—although at times they play it like a high-school show—have a good sense of Shakespearean bawdiness, and they do their best to liven things up, keeping the audience in stitches until Act II, when things really slow down. Why, it must be asked, do professionals possessing otherwise fine senses of artistic good taste insist on producing this sort of self-indulgent stinker? JOHN MINERVINI. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego., 635-3901. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 7 pm Sundays, 2 pm Feb. 10 and 17. Closes Feb. 17. $23-$25. All ages. Map

Exit the King

A ruler who has run his country into the ground now refuses to let go. Sound familiar? Probably its resonance with our current national leadership crisis prompted Arts Equity to take on Ionesco’s political satire, and it does a fine job playing up the similarities. King Berenger (Rod Harrel) and his court speak with thick Texas accents, and Berenger himself makes apelike facial expressions and frequently lets fly a sinister airy cackle—heh, heh, heh—that will be instantly familiar to anyone with a TV. This spirited production—nimbly directed by Llewellyn Rhoe—successfully straddles the line between tragedy and farce, and it has the advantage of lending itself to contemporary allegory. Unfortunately, the script hasn’t aged well; what may have challenged audiences in 1962 drags in the new millennium. The second act features unforgettable monologues by Berenger and Queen Marguerite (Virginia Belt), and, in general, the performances are solid. However, not all characters speak with the same accent—the maid is French, the guard is German, and the actors step on each others’ lines. JOHN MINERVINI. The Main Street Theater, 606 Main St., Vancouver., 360-695-3770. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Feb. 16. $10-$24. All ages. Map

A Few Stout Individuals

The second play of Profile Theatre’s season of John Guare looks great—but don’t let it fool you. This purported comedy about the writing of Ulysses S. Grant’s memoirs is brutal. It’s not all the actors’ or director’s fault, though—Guare’s play, which he admits to tossing off under deadline in the three weeks following 9/11, is an awkward mélange of war tragedy, history lecture and madcap farce that plays footsie with the fun, the interesting, the informative and even the artful, but keeps falling short in endless asides and digressions. It’s 2 1/2 hours of subpar writing made even harder to endure by a trio of particularly terrible performances by actors I will not name. With this script, they’ve already suffered enough. BEN WATERHOUSE. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 242-0080. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Feb. 17. $10-$28. All ages. Map

Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse

The story of Lilly, a kindergartener with a fab vinyl handbag. Brought to you by Oregon Children's Theatre. BEN WATERHOUSE. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 248-4335. 2 pm Jan. 19-20. $13-$24. All ages. Map

Musical Comedy Murders of 1940

This classic murder-mystery farce has singers dropping left and right. Rend me a tenor, if you will. BEN WATERHOUSE. Hillsboro Artists' Regional Theatre, 185 SE Washington St., Hillsboro., 693-7815. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Jan. 27. $7-$14. All ages. Map

The Neutrino Project

Why watch live, unedited improv when you could see a movie, acted and filmed on the fly by the ambitious folks at Curious Productions? Directed by Bob Ladewig, The Neutrino Project is shot at three locations—edited, scored and projected almost live. BEN WATERHOUSE. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. 9:30 pm Fridays. Closes Feb. 22. $10. All ages. Map

Off Book

The New Group Theater Company combines forces with fledgling playwright David Gallic to help him get his first play out of his system. The bard pulls double duty here playing Corgan, an upbeat if lovelorn worker drone who realizes he is the star of his own comedic drama when he overhears his goofy narrator (Joel Korkowski) elucidating his every move. Director John Duncan makes a cameo as Director, stopping in to discuss the nature of theater and life in general with an enthusiastic cast as Gallic’s script references all the greatest hits from an Intro to Theater 101 required-reading list. Spontaneous musical outbursts and lengthy moments of uncertainty characterize this meta piece, which falls a little flat to an audience already exposed to Will Ferrell’s similar existential dilemma in Stranger Than Fiction. SAUNDRA SORENSON. Shoe Box Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-244-3740. 312-6789. 7 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Feb. 2. $10, cash only. All ages. Map

Rose City Vaudeville

A wide-ranging variety show in the spirit of the Gay Nineties. The first Gay Nineties. BEN WATERHOUSE. Hippodrome, 315 SE 3rd Ave., 7 pm Thursday, Jan. 31. $15-$20. All ages. Map

Shackleton's Antarctic Nightmare

Storyteller Lawrence Howard tells the story of Ernest Shackleton's doomed mission to explore the ice continent. Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., 358-0898. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays. Closes Jan. 19. $12. All ages. Map

Shining City

In this sublimely written play by Conor McPherson, Ian (Michael O’Connell), an ex-priest turned therapist, and John (Bruce Burkhartsmeier), his first, and possibly only, client, cope with the problem of John’s wife, Mari, who died in a car accident months ago but keeps showing up around the house. Third Rail’s production showcases the impressive talents of director Slayden Scott Yarbrough, whose touch brings out a lot of congenial humor in what could easily be a very dour show. He also made a fine move in casting Burkhartsmeier, who plays guilt-ridden John as an unexaggeratedly anxious wreck. He fidgets, scratches and tears up subtly and powerfully. As John works through his talking cure in Ian’s shabby office, we start to wonder who really needs the therapy. An apparition in the foyer is one thing, but Ian’s haunted by the perfectly solid mother of his child (Val Landrum) and a crisis of sexual identity. BEN WATERHOUSE. Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center, 5340 N Interstate Ave., Call 235-1101 for tickets. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Feb. 2. $16-$25. All ages. Map

Tales of Ordinary Madness

Stepán Simek directs his own translation of Petr Zelenka’s Czech hit, a crackling comedy full of good old-fashioned American-style dysfunction. Peter (Brian Allard) is a beer-swilling thirtysomething who follows his shut-in and sexual deviant friend Midge’s (an exuberantly goofy Shuhe Hawkins) black-magic advice to lure his girlfriend, Jeanette, back to him. Peter vacillates between midday delusions, watching his neighbors fuck (at their behest) and suffering through visits home, where his excitable mother (Dalene Young) donates blood obsessively and predicts her husband’s (an endearingly meek Michael Chambers) downfall. Dad, meanwhile, plays with beer bubbles and bemoans his old career as a radio mouthpiece for the Party. A truly theatrical act of desperation ties the madness up nicely, and anchoring performances by Young and Chambers provide a jarring few moments of heartbreak in the last act. See review. SAUNDRA SORENSON. The CoHo Theatre, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 220-2646. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Feb. 23. $20-$23. All ages. Map

Tangoing with Tornadoes

This "choreopoem" by Renee Mitchell employs poetry, music and dance to explore domestic violence. Center for Self Enhancement, 3920 N Kerby Ave., 249-1721. 7 pm Friday-Saturday, 7 and 3 pm Sunday, Jan. 25-27. Free. All ages. Map

Walking With Dinosaurs: The Live Experience

Animatronic dinosaur puppets over 40 feet tall take over the Rose Garden in this live show inspired by the popular BBC series. Rose Garden, 1401 N Wheeler Ave., 235-8771. 7 pm Wednesday, 11 am and 7 pm Thursday, 7 pm Friday, 11 am, 3 and 7 pm Saturday and 1 pm Sunday. Closes Jan. 20. $32-$69.50. All ages. Map

Where's My Money?

John Patrick Shanley's anti-marital comedy may read like a particularly bitter dramatic interpretation of "Love Stinks," but in the hands of Ben Plont and the ensemble at Theatre Vertigo, it becomes a delightfully absurd skewering of the things we do to the people we love. The solid cast's spot-on comedic timing brings out the humor in even the most dismally angsty of Shanley's scenes. The play's paranormal theme—ex-boyfriend comes back from the dead to collect on an old debt—seems superfluous, but goddamn if it isn't hilarious. BEN WATERHOUSE. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 306-0870. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays. Closes Feb. 9. $15. Thursdays are pay what you will. All ages. Map

ZAPATISTA

A new play by Dañel Malán about the life of Subcomandante Marcos, produced in English and Spanish by Miracle Theatre. BEN WATERHOUSE. El Centro Milagro, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 7:30 pm Thursdays, 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays and Jan. 19. Closes Jan. 19. $15-$20. All ages. Map

CLASSICAL

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Hotshot Scottish composer James MacMillan's large-scale orchestral work, The Confession of Isobel Gowdie, hailed a major new composing voice in classical music (the English critic Stephen Johnson fell over himself in adoration for the work, and reported the audience gave it a major ovation). If MacMillan's career hasn't quite blossomed since that audacious 1990 Confession premiere, then listeners are the lesser for it. Portland's lucky for a rare shot at hearing this exceptional newish work in this weekend's Oregon Symphony performance (Carlos Kalmar's back on the podium), which pairs it with Mendelssohn's evergreen incidental music to A Midsummer Night's Dream, with the ladies of the Portland Symphonic Choir and guest soloists and readers. STEPHEN MARC BEAUDOIN. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway., 248-4335. 7:30 pm Saturday-Sunday, 8 pm Monday, Jan. 19-21. $28-$93. All ages. Map

Oregon Sinfonietta

The community orch—under the direction of (take a breath) Dr. Donald Lawrence Appert—stirs up a concert of Prokofiev, Beethoven and Camille Saint-Saëns. STEPHEN MARC BEAUDOIN. Sunnyside Adventist Church, 10501 SE Market St., 252-8080. 3 pm Sunday, Jan 20. Call 360-992-2195 for tickets. $5 suggested donation. All ages. Map

Pipes and Strings

First Presbyterian's vastly underappreciated Jon Stuber—he may be Portland's best church organist, in fact—teams up with violinist-about-town Mary Rowell for an intriguing program of solo, duo and trio works from the early 18th to the early 20th centuries, including solo fantasias by Telemann; a J.S. Bach trio sonata; the Suite, op. 166 for violin and organ by Josef Rheinberger; and American composer Arthur Foote's Cantilena for violin and organ. STEPHEN MARC BEAUDOIN. First Presbyterian Church, 1200 SW Alder St., 228-7331. 3 pm Sunday, Jan 20. $8-$10. All ages. Map

Rhymes and Rhythms

William Walton gets no respect. In the early- to middle-20th century, Walton was among England's musical royalty (literally so: He was knighted in 1951)—musicians today mention his name with a giggle. His breakout work came in 1921-22 with Façade, a self-described "musical entertainment" for reciter and instruments with poetry by his close friend Edith Sitwell. Walton's jazz-scorched score catapulted him to international acclaim—and though he never exactly followed up on that hit with another home run (both of his operas failed; his orchestral works are rarely heard today) this is the one Walton work worth reviving, so kudos to Portland Chamber Orchestra for giving it a go. Portland's unofficial theater scene mayor, Mary McDonald-Lewis, and KBPS's jolly English announcer Edmund Stone are the reciters; there will also be puppets by Tears of Joy Theatre. Conductor Yaacov Bergman leads the orch in that work, alongside the Bernstein Serenade (violinist Tai Murray, soloist) and Haydn's Symphony No. 22 in Eb Major (The Philosopher). STEPHEN MARC BEAUDOIN. Kaul Auditorium at Reed College, 3203 SE Woodstock Blvd., 777-7755. 7:30 pm Saturday, Jan 19. $20-$25. Call 771-2350 for tickets. All ages. Map

Valentina Lisitsa in Recital

She saved the Oregon Symphony's bacon only a few months ago, and she's doing it again for the Portland Piano International series: affable stringy-haired Ukranian pianist Valentina Lisitsa pinch hits for wunderkeyboardist Rachel Cheung in a big-guns recital of Rachmaninoff, Beethoven, Schumann, Liszt, and the Thalberg Fantasy on Barber of Seville. STEPHEN MARC BEAUDOIN. Main Street, between Broadway and Park Avenue, Main Street, between Broadway and Park Avenue., Antoinette Hatfield Hall. 4 pm Sunday, 7:30 pm Monday, Jan 21-22. Call 228-1388 for tickets. $13-$42. All ages. Map

DANCE

Legal Issues for the Creative Entrepreneur

The past 10 years were rough on the Martha Graham Dance Company, which spent more time in court than onstage, wrangling with Graham’s heir-apparent Ron Protas over copyright issues pertaining to who really owned the repertory. Don’t let this happen to you: Attorney Kohel Haver presents a workshop on copyright and licensing issues, contracts and business documents, branding, trademark and more. HEATHER WISNER. Multnomah Arts Center, 7688 SW Capitol Highway., 823-2787. 9 am Friday, Jan. 18. $25. All ages. Map

Passing the Fan: Traditional Japanese Dance in Oregon

In a radical departure from most theatrical history, the practitioners of nihon buyo (a form of traditional Japanese dance dating back to the 16th century) are women, many of whom play male roles. More radical still is the idea that the dancers—unlike, say, your average ballerina—can dance long into their old age, coloring the dance’s traditional stories with experiences from their own lives. There are schools devoted to nihon buyo in Japan, and as it happens, a few alumni from these schools have taught multiple generations of dancers in Oregon. This exhibit, which showcases costumes, props, photos and other images, will honor their legacy. HEATHER WISNER. Oregon Nikkei Legacy Center, 121 NW 2nd Ave.,., 224-1458. Reception 1-3 pm Sunday, Jan. 20; exhibit 11 am-3 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays, noon-3 pm Sundays through April 27. Free-$3. All ages. Map

Riverdance

Not since the farewell tours of KISS, Cher and Barbra Streisand has the entertainment world suffered such a blow as the one dealt by the Riverdance farewell tour. Who, now, will lead the PBS pledge drive? And what will become of the smoke-machine manufacturers and Celtic-wig makers who’ve capitalized on the show’s considerable financial success? The mind reels—and jigs. Catch one last adroit, heel-clattering demonstration of Irish step dance before the flash is laid to rest. HEATHER WISNER. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 248-4335. 248-4335, 7:30 pm Tuesday-Friday, 2 and 7:30 Saturday, 1 and 6:30 pm Sunday, Jan. 22-27. $20-$62. All ages. Map