STAGE

Antigone

Blue Monkey Theater puts a contemporary twist on the classic tale of teenage rebellion with Jean Anouilh's adaptation, translated by Jeremy Sams. Grant Turner directs. West End Theater, 1220 SW Taylor St., 593-2466. 7 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Feb. 24. $16-$20. All ages. Map

The Beard of Avon

There is a tremendous amount of labor on display at the Gerding Theater in Amy Freed’s nerdy comedy about who might have really written (at least according to a fringe contingent of conspiracy-minded scholars) the works attributed to William Shakespeare: From Deborah Trout’s stunning Elizabethan costumes and William Bloodgood’s handsome all-purpose set to the ensemble’s excellent comedic execution and a refreshingly restrained performance by Darius Pierce, it's blood sweat and tears all over. But the hardest labor of all must have come from Freed, whose intricate script is quick, clever and brainy, carefully tailored to appeal to a self-satisfied audience of lit majors and theater lovers. It must have taken ages to cram in this much trivia and artifice—but why bother? The play offers little in the way of moral or artistic satisfaction. It’s a tale told by an academic, full of in-jokes and bawdy humor, signifying nothing. See review. BEN WATERHOUSE. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays, 2 and 7:30 pm Sundays. Alternates with Twelfth Night. See wweek.com or pcs.org for more details. Closes March 16. $16.50-$61.50. All ages. Map

The Big Rock Show

"The World's Smallest Stadium Rock Concert," a two-man comedy routine featuring Chicagoan Scotty Iseri and Portlander Joe Bolenbaugh as his fresh-from-rehab roadie. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 223-4240. 9 pm Thursdays-Saturdays. Closes Feb. 23. $10. All ages. Map

Bodas de Sangre (Blood Wedding)

Miracle Theatre’s artistic director, Olga Sanchez, has attempted to make Federico García Lorca’s weird 1932 tragedy a little more accessible through song, with haunting arrangements by Gerardo Calderón that span the breadth of Andalucia’s rich musical heritage. The music pulls you in, bringing out the best of Lorca’s voice (an outlandish lyricism that revels in the grotesque) and allowing you to overlook the production’s flaws. BEN WATERHOUSE. El Centro Milagro, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 7:30 pm Thursdays, 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Feb. 23. $15-$20. All ages. Map

The Clean House

What starts out as an entertaining series of encounters between stock characters—Lane (Susan Coromel), a humorless, uptight doctor, clad in white; Virginia (Marilyn Stacey), her humorless, uptight, neat-freak sister, in khaki; and Lane’s maid, Matilde (Amaya Villazan), who wears black, hates cleaning and would rather be a comedian like her parents, the funniest people in Brazil, who died in a tragic, humor-related murder-suicide when her father came up with a joke so good it killed—starts to go downhill when Lane’s husband, Charles (Shelly Lipkin), runs off with a 67-year-old cancer patient (Linda Williams Janke) and the whole thing degenerates into a maudlin mishmash of smug quirkiness and sentimentality, like a Lifetime movie penned by Gabriel García Márquez. By the time Charles heads for the Arctic to cut down a Pacific yew for his cancer-patient mistress and Lane overcomes her jealousy to care for her, the play is beyond all hope of recovery. See review. BEN WATERHOUSE. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes March 2. $20-$47. All ages. Map

Cuentos—Searching for My Story

Rebecca Martinez, Joaquin López and Stan Olmstead's multidisciplinary performance confronts tradition, and racial and national identity. Take the kids. El Centro Milagro, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 3 pm Saturdays. Closes Feb. 23. $5-$10. All ages. Map

Dead of Winter

Local playwright Steve Patterson premieres three one-act ghost stories (“Whitechapel,” “Wet Paint” and “The Body”) in a joint effort by Pavement Productions and the Bluestockings. Lisa Abbott directs. While the scripts themselves aren’t that bad per se—about on par with an average episode of The Outer Limits—the weaknesses in Patterson’s dialogue (Americans really shouldn’t dabble in English dialects) are amplified by Lisa Abbott’s heavy-handed direction and some really frightening acting. An exception is Ben Plont, who sinks his teeth into the camp and doesn’t let go, shamelessly hamming it up as a ghost-hunter and a haunted surgeon. Unfortunately, he can’t be onstage all the time. BEN WATERHOUSE. Performance Works NW, 4625 SE 67th Ave., 222-2305. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays. Closes Feb. 23. $10. All ages. Map

The Devil and Daniel Webster

Charming and sweet, while at the same time wickedly funny, this show weaves together a tale of youthfully innocent love and guilty desperation. A lighthearted contemporary adaptation of a 19th-century tale, the story loses a bit of its momentum in the second half when the devil and Sen. Daniel Webster argue for a farmer’s soul, especially for younger audience members. Sets are inspired, the young actors are energetic, and the older ones casually confident. Come early and, from a cushioned wooden pew, soak up the sight of the lovely and lofty cross-barrel vaulted ceiling in this beautiful old auditorium. DEEDA SCHROEDER. NW Neighborhood Cultural Center, 1819 NW Everett St., 222-4480. 7 pm Fridays, 2 and 7 pm Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Feb. 24. $15-$20. All ages. Map

The Front Page

Richard Morley's comic drama, set in the press room of the Chicago Criminal Courts Building. Hillsboro Artists' Regional Theatre, 185 SE Washington St., Hillsboro., 693-7815. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes March 22. $7-$14. All ages. Map

Haroun and the Sea of Stories

Salman Rushdie's fairytale, adapted for the stage by Tim Supple and David Tushingham. Karin Magaldi directs. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 725-3307. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sunday. $3.50-$9.50. All ages. Map

The Importance of Being Earnest

Northwest Classical Theatre Company brings an American slapstick sensibility to Oscar Wilde’s oft-performed comedy, keeping it loose and funny until the end of the third act. The women carry the show, with deliciously venomous performances by Kelly Godell (Gwendolyn) and Paige Jones (Lady Bracknell). The men seem to be straining, though, and Tom Walton exhibits a disagreeable habit of closing his eyes while delivering lines. Thematically, the production, directed by Blue Monkey Theater’s John Monteverde, lays heavy emphasis on vanity, a theme reflected in the placement of floor-length mirrors along the set’s back wall. This design has the unfortunate consequence that the actors, whenever they are admiring themselves, are forced to turn their backs on the audience. Also: because Earnest is really only dialogue, costumes come under unusually close scrutiny. In this regard, the women once again fared better, looking tip-top, whereas the men seem to have been dressed out of bins. How can you be a fop if your clothes don’t match, or even fit? Nevertheless, the audience laughed loud and often, and you will too. JOHN MINERVINI. Shoe Box Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-244-3740. 7 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes March 2. $12-$18. All ages. Map

Monologic

A long-form improv show from the Brodys that blends fiction and reality. The Brody Theater Studio, 3314 SW 1st Ave., door on Southwest Gibbs Street., 224-0688. 8 pm Saturdays. Closes March 8. $7-$10. All ages. Map

The Neutrino Project

Why watch live, unedited improv when you could see a movie, acted and filmed on the fly by the ambitious folks at Curious Productions? Directed by Bob Ladewig, The Neutrino Project is shot at three locations—edited, scored and projected almost live. BEN WATERHOUSE. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. 9:30 pm Fridays. Closes Feb. 22. $10. All ages. Map

Rabbit Hole

In David Lindsay-Abaire's first serious drama we join Becca (Susannah Mars) and Howie (forcefully portrayed by Duffy Epstein), a middle-aged suburbanite couple, eight months after the death of their 4-year-old son Danny, who ran out in the street after his dog and was mowed down by a teenage driver. Becca is a wreck, and the well-intentioned efforts of her mother (Vana O’Brien) and lowlife sister (Adrienne Flagg) aren’t helping. The playwright's refusal to assign blame for or give meaning to Danny’s death is hard on the audience—where’s the gratification in random tragedy?—but makes for an artistic achievement more satisfying than any morality play. Rabbit Hole is a beautiful, deeply affecting and surprisingly funny work, and director Allen Nause has done it justice in a fine production, bucking the persistent mediocrity that has plagued the company this season. BEN WATERHOUSE. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes March 23. $20-$47. All ages. Map

Scratch PDX

Portland's monthly performance "open stage." BEN WATERHOUSE. Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., 10 pm Saturdays. $5. All ages. Map

Tales of Ordinary Madness

Stepán Simek directs his own translation of Petr Zelenka’s Czech hit, a crackling comedy full of good old-fashioned American-style dysfunction. Peter (Brian Allard) is a beer-swilling thirtysomething who follows his shut-in and sexual deviant friend Midge’s (an exuberantly goofy Shuhe Hawkins) black-magic advice to lure his girlfriend, Jeanette, back to him. Peter vacillates between midday delusions, watching his neighbors fuck (at their behest) and suffering through visits home, where his excitable mother (Dalene Young) donates blood obsessively and predicts her husband’s (an endearingly meek Michael Chambers) downfall. Dad, meanwhile, plays with beer bubbles and bemoans his old career as a radio mouthpiece for the Party. A truly theatrical act of desperation ties the madness up nicely, and anchoring performances by Young and Chambers provide a jarring few moments of heartbreak in the last act. See review. SAUNDRA SORENSON. The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 220-2646. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes Feb. 23. $20-$23. All ages. Map

Tonya & Nancy: The Rock Opera

Elizabeth Searle and Abigail Al-Doory originally wrote Tonya & Nancy as a one-act chamber opera before Triangle founder Don Horn learned of the production and, uh, collaborated (with Flavor of Love cue-sheet preparer Michael Teoli) on an additional 20 songs. The extended tale doesn’t lend itself to musical comedy: Domestic violence, child abuse and the desperations of cyclical poverty aren’t, by themselves, funny. They shouldn’t be, anyway. The audience started chortling at the first projected images of Tonya’s childhood trailer and, aside from a cappella beatings and one song’s hints of prepubescent gang rape, never let up. Yes, they show bits of the honeymoon and Tonya’s boxing career, but skating footage is conspicuously absent. It’s easier to make fun of the “pony-legged,” sequin-clad hell-raiser when you avoid what made her transcendent. There’s a story to be told about trailer trash grasping an emblem of entitled femininity and enduring global scorn, but Horn isn’t up to the job. Courtney Love should score the Tonya & Nancy ballet. JAY HORTON. World Trade Center, 121 SW Salmon St., 239-5919. 8 pm Friday, 7 pm Saturday. Closes March 15. $20-$25. Map

Twelfth Night

Too many bored directors, forced by tradition and economics to stage another goddamn Shakespeare, try to shoehorn a perfectly decent comedy into an awkward fancy-dress conceit or inappropriate political statement, but Jane Jones, down from Seattle to direct Portland Center Stage’s production of the mistaken-identity romantic comedy, has the good sense to leave the play alone. This is, without hyperbole, an entirely satisfying production. On the technical side, William Bloodgood’s set is modestly beautiful, Deborah Trout’s costumes are dazzling, Nancy Schertler’s lights are a show in their own right, and Joshua Kohl’s music is just delightful—but the ensemble, made up mostly of Ashland vets, could get along just fine without them. They’re all good, but Brad Bellamy stands out with an inspired take on Feste the fool that lands somewhere between Jack Nicholson and Sancho Panza. If you’re looking for real entertainment, this is it. BEN WATERHOUSE. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays, 2 and 7:30 pm Sundays, noon Thursdays. Alternates with The Beard of Avon. See wweek.com or pcs.org for more details. Closes March 9. $16.50-$61.50. All ages. Map

We Won't Pay! We Won't Pay!

Portland Actors Conservatory plays this show by Nobel Prize-winner Dario Fo like a two-hour episode of I Love Lucy, repeatedly executing obvious sight gags and then mooning out to the audience, “Uh-oh.” The problem is that they’re dealing with white-collar Italians, an ethnic group plagued by troubling stereotypes. Director Philip Cuomo’s decision to leave these stereotypes unquestioned—and, indeed, to milk them for all they’re worth—results in a show that is not only troublingly shallow, but also ethnically insensitive. Of course, Fo’s 1974 script lends itself to this kind of misinterpretation. It makes compassionate sense only if a production emphasizes the widening tragedy—these characters are broke, about to be evicted from their apartments, with no food to eat—alongside their increasingly absurd antics. There’s no such tragedy at PAC, unless you count the hodgepodge of dialects. The actors’ “Italian” accents ranged from Russian to Hispanic to Super Mario Brothers. JOHN MINERVINI. Portland Actors Conservatory, 1436 SW Montgomery St., 274-1717. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes March 2. $15-$25. All ages. Map

Who Stole My Dead Husband?

Lou Pallotta’s Italo-sploitation family dinner theater, starring Jim Caputo. Madison's East Wing, 1125 SE Madison St., 800-966-8865. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays. Open-ended run. $64-$69, dinner included. All ages. Map

CLASSICAL

The Choir Invisible

When we sing, it’s rarely off the cuff, or for very long at one time. Hymns in church, "Happy Birthday," favorite CDs. Ever wonder what would happen if you just, well, sang? That’s the plan, anyway—sing for four hours, and see what happens. Composer John Berendzen will introduce a loose “score” to serve as a starting point for this organic meditation on the voice, but there’s no telling where participants will end up. No experience or ability to read music is required—just listen and respond. Presented in connection with Performance Works NorthWest’s new Sunday multi-arts series, ALEMBIC. JOHN MINERVINI. Performance Works NW, 4625 SE 67th Ave., 222-2305. 1-5 pm Sunday, Feb. 24. Free. All ages. Map

Distinctive Accents

Huw Edwards, in his eighth season directing Columbia Symphony Orchestra, boldly conducts three pieces that have very little to do with one another: Vaughan Williams, “Rhosymedre”; Rodrigo, “Concierto de Aranjuez”; and Schubert, “Symphony No. 9 in C Major, D. 944.” PSU guitar professor David Franzen will guest solo on the Spanish piece. JOHN MINERVINI. First United Methodist Church, 1838 SW Jefferson St., 234-4077. 3 pm Friday, Feb. 22. $5-$25. All ages. Map

Eldred Marshall

Marshall is perhaps best known for being the first African-American pianist to perform, off-book in a concentrated series, all 32 of Beethoven’s piano sonatas. Let’s hope that his musicianship is as good as his memory. This concert, initially billed as The Best of Chopin, will now feature favorites from Chopin, Liszt, Schumann and Brahms, including "Fantasy" and "Mephisto Waltz." JOHN MINERVINI. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 909-725-4525. 8 pm Saturday, Feb. 23. $10. All ages. Map

HLO Baroque Trio

Recently, Jaap ter Linden has been conducting operas—specifically Purcelli’s King Arthur with the Stadische Buhne Munster and Gluck’s Iphigenie en Aulide with the Royal Conservatory of the Hague. So it’s a treat to get to hear this world-renowned Baroque cellist back behind the bow. He’ll be joined by fellow Dutchman Wilbert Hazelzet (baroque flute) and Jacques Ogg (harpsichord) for an evening of 17th- and 18th- century chamber music, the centerpiece of which will be Bach's "Suite No. 3 for Solo Cello in C Major." Other works by Couperin and Leclair. JOHN MINERVINI. Kaul Auditorium at Reed College, 3203 SE Woodstock Blvd., 777-7755. 7:30 pm Wednesday, Feb. 20. $19.50. All ages. Map

Night Visions

The First Presbyterian Church Chamber Choir, directed by Jon Stuber, will perform works that evoke the mystery and romance of the night. The program includes music by Josef Rheinberger, Camille Saint-Saëns, Max Reger and Johannes Brahms, as well as pieces by modern choral composers Eleanor Daley, Stephen Paulus and Houston Bright. Things will end on a light, er, note, with performances of “Blue Moon” and “Night and Day.” As an aside, one wonders why a concert about night music is being staged at 3 pm. JOHN MINERVINI. First Presbyterian Church, 1200 SW Alder St., 228-7331. 3 pm Sunday Feb. 24. $8-$10. All ages. Map

Roland, the Minstrel Pig

Oregon Chamber Players presents William Steig’s Roland, the Minstrel Pig, the story of a talented porker who dreams of fame and wealth, set to music by Matt Doran. Will Roland’s vanity cause him to become lunch for Sebastian the Fox? Come find out! The leading pig will be played by tenor David Meier, and KBPS’s John Pitman will narrate. At the reception, OCP will feature sing-alongs, a kazoo orchestra and the Instrument Petting Zoo. JOHN MINERVINI. All Saints' Episcopal Church, 4033 SE Woodstock Blvd., 224-8499. 7:30 pm Saturday, Feb. 23. $12-$15. All ages. Map

Two for Five

Few composers have provoked as much critical speculation as Amy Beach. Although Victorian societal mores prevented her from receiving much formal training, her virtuosic talent has earned her a place in the American symphonic canon. Sylvia Gray (piano), Adam LaMotte (violin), Paloma Griffin (violin), Viorel Bejenaru (viola) and Trevor Fitzpatrick (cello) will perform Beach’s “Quintet for Piano and Strings in F Minor,” as well as the Brahms piano quintet from which it takes its theme. JOHN MINERVINI. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 909-725-4525. 7:30 pm Friday, Feb. 22. $5-$15. All ages. Map

DANCE

Extreme Dance Company

What’s so extreme about Extreme? Your ears will tell you it’s the unlikely intersection of Ani DiFranco and Aerosmith in the company’s musical accompaniment. Listen, too, for the sound of singer-songwriters K’Lyn Bain and Josh Echo-Hawk performing live, and for the staccato rhythms of local tap company VI, who make a special guest appearance. Extreme is a 12-member pre-professional company whose teenage and twentysomething dancers perform contemporary, jazz and hip-hop pieces tonight (unlike a recital, however, the show takes place in a venue serving grown-up drinks). HEATHER WISNER. Crown Ballroom, 918 SW Yamhill St., 227-8440. 6:45 pm doors, 7:30 pm showtime Wednesday, Feb. 20. $20-$23. 21+. Map

KO&Co.

The shortest distance—and the least interesting journey—between two points is a straight line, which makes Katrina O’Brien’s work Convergence the dance equivalent of the scenic route. In this blend of choreographed and improvised modern movement, KO&Co. physically convey the many ways people intersect and interact as they travel from one place to another. Think of all the places you come to in the course of a week, and all the people you meet either by chance or design during that time, and you get the picture. HEATHER WISNER. Conduit Dance Ballroom, 918 SW Yamhill St., Suite 401., 221-5857. 8 pm Saturday, Feb. 23; 7 pm Sunday, Feb. 24. $10-$14. All ages. Map

Northwest Professional Dance Project Auditions

At the Northwest Professional Dance Project summer intensive, young pros and pre-professionals test their talent (and their stamina) by taking classes and performing work set on them by internationally known choreographers. At the final audition for the 2008 Project, former Oregon Ballet Theatre Artistic Director James Canfield teaches a ballet class, followed by choreography with NWPDP Artistic Director Sarah Slipper and Associate Director Steve Gonzales. Dancers should be 16-25 and armed with a resume, photo, $35 audition fee and a strong command of ballet and modern idioms. Preregistration is required on the NWPDP Web site, www.nwpdp.com/auditions.html. , 1300 NW Northrup St., third floor., 421-7434. 2:30 pm (arrive at least 30 minutes prior). Free. All ages. Map