STAGE

9 Parts of Desire

Louanne Moldovan directs Luisa Sermol in Heather Raffo’s extraordinary one-woman play about the lives of contemporary Iraqi women in a co-production by CoHo and Cygnet. Sermol ably embodies a dozen women, from teenagers to grandmothers, living across Iraq and watching from afar, who relate tales of abuse, torture, warfare, survival and, occasionally, love. Sure, a few of her many personas teeter on the edge of caricature, but, given the speed with which she flips between characters, it’s inevitable. The script is a harrowing affair (“They put her baby in a bag with starving cats. They recorded it, and her rape, and played it back to her husband.”) that veers occasionally into polemic—but how else are we to respond to the centuries of suffering visited upon the women of Babylon? The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 220-2646. 8 pm Thursdays-Fridays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes June 14. $20-$23. All ages. Map

The Bay at Nice

Readers Theatre Repertory stages David Hare's play about Russian museum life, with music by Tomas Svoboda. Blackfish Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., 234-2634. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, May 9-10. $8. Map

Bus Stop

Travelers seek refuge from the snow in a diner. Great lessons are learned. Hillsboro Artists' Regional Theatre, 185 SE Washington St., Hillsboro., 693-7815. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes May 11. $7-$14. Map

Einstein Is a Dummy

Awkward 12-year-old Albert Einstein struggles to keep up on his studies, woo the girl next door and solve the mysteries of time and space. Winningstad Theatre, Portland Center for Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway., 228-9571. 2 and 7 pm Saturdays, 2 and 5 pm Sundays. Closes May 18. $19-$24. Map

An Evening with Eastland Academy

Sketch comedy by Shelley McLendon and Frayn Masters. The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., myspace.com/eastlandacademy. 10:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays. Closes May 17. $8/$10. Map

For:Give

The latest project from the people behind last season’s laudable Leni and The Yellow Boat is a multidisciplinary piece, two years in the making, that evinces little in the way of discipline and nothing resembling insight. Drawing its inspiration from The Tempest, this seven-woman mess finds Prospero (or his analogue, a disturbed former executive named Priscilla) trapped not on a desert island, to which she lures her enemies to enact her revenge, but in the Mississippi Ballroom, to which she lures unsuspecting audiences for two hours of fractured, confusing and miserably boring dramatic torture. It’s not the cast’s fault that there’s so little to enjoy in this high-concept snafu. They’re fine actors, but all they have to work with are some nice lights, a bucket full of blunt declaratives and a lot of umbrellas. Coming from a purportedly professional organization, this is embarrassing. While I’ve seen worse shows this season—Roger and the Cave Monster comes to mind—none has been such a disappointment. Mississippi Rising Ballroom, 833 N Shaver St., 493-8070. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays. Closes May 17. $10-$15. Map

The Garden Party

In the Czech Republic, even a playwright can be president—writer and intellectual Václav Havel led the country from 1987 to 2003 despite a publicly proclaimed uninterest in politics. Ironically, his first play, presented by defunkt theatre, is the story of a distracted young man who insinuates himself into a soulless bureaucracy.  It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but the wash of meaningless institutional verbiage is pleasingly mesmerizing. Go for the historical interest, but stay for 90 minutes of Orwellian nonsense. BEN WATERHOUSE. The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 481-2960. 8 pm Thursdays-Sundays. Closes May 31. $10-$15, Thursdays are pay what you will. Map

The History Boys

Alan Bennett’s prep-school sorta-romance is likely to divide audiences. If close to three hours of hyperarticulate schoolboy banter, a trio of awkward infatuations and a garnish of educational theory sounds like a good time to you, you’ll love it. I did. Though he’s prone to over-writing, Bennett’s dramatic poetry is among the best of his generation, and in History Boys he has forged an unforgettable cast of characters: the hardass headmaster, the student-groping lit teacher, the cynically provocative historian and the class of eight unnaturally bright students who want nothing more than to make it into Oxford, Cambridge or one another’s trousers. Jon Kretzu’s production is solid throughout. While the teachers are all quite good, and Chris Harder gives his best performance to date in Portland as Irwin, the sardonic young history teacher, every scene is stolen by the boys. It’s a delight to see such an energetic bunch of young actors at work. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes June 8. $20-$47. All ages. Map

Kids in the Hall

Yeah, those Kids in the Hall. The Canadian comedians are back on tour, and they're in Portland for one night. I squish your head! Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway., 224-4400. 8 pm Sunday, May 11. $39.75. Map

The Labyrinth of Desire

A clever woman with not so much money must keep her handsome sweetheart from marrying a rich girl. But what separates Florela (Jamie M. Rea) from the horde of literary heroines whose plight she shares is her unorthodox response: She pretends to be a man and woos the rich girl herself, with great success. In the international debut of this gender-bending comedy from playwright Caridad Svich (based on another play by 16th-century Spaniard Lope de Vega), everyone’s in disguise and no one’s wooing for the right reasons. The guys (mostly seniors at PSU) are over the top, but Clara Weishan’s portrayal of Laura—the rich girl no one really cares about—is note-perfect: She’s spoiled, infatuated and mentally unstable in just the right proportions. Unfortunately, much of the show’s dialogue is rendered as stilted Wildean repartee, but that’s the only thing that’s holding this adaptation back. JOHN MINERVINI. El Centro Milagro, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 7:30 pm Thursdays, 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes May 31. $15-$20. All ages. Map

The Little Dog Laughed

A very funny comedy by Douglas Carter Beane (To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar) about Mitchell, a self-loathing gay movie star, the young rent-boy he falls for, the rent-boy’s girlfriend, and Diane, the obnoxious, sexless lesbian agent who has to make sure nobody falls out of the closet. It’s well-worn material—New Yorkers are bitchy, movie people are crass, being gay is tough, etc.—but Beane seasons the old gags with a filthy-minded wit that makes them feel fresh. The out-of-town cast is very good—particularly Antoinette LaVecchia, who plays Diane as a smart-ass Mephistopheles in a white pantsuit. High drama this is not, but there are worse ways to spend a spring evening. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays, noon Thursdays. Closes June 29. $21.50-$43.50. All ages. Map

The Long Christmas Ride Home

There’s very little Christmas spirit in Paula Vogel’s 2003 tragicomedy, which begins with an ill-fated family trip to Grandmother’s house and follows the lingering effects of one awful night through the children’s adult lives. Vertigo’s production, directed by Kristan Seemel, is steeped in Japanese theatrical tradition, from the pagoda-themed set to the kimono-ish costumes and Noh-influnced choreography. It’s lovely, and makes a striking contrast to the play’s decidedly Western themes of infidelity and domestic violence. BEN WATERHOUSE. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 306-0870. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays. Closes May 17. $15, Thursdays are pay what you will. All ages. Map

A Midsummer Night's Scream

New Century Players present a limited-engagement interactive murder mystery dinner show, set at the cast party for a high-concept production of A Midsummer Night's Dream. Milwaukie Center, 5440 SE Kellogg Creek Drive., 367-5620. 6:30 pm Saturday, May 3 and Friday, May 9. 11 am Sunday, May 11. $40. Map

The Mystery of Edwin Drood

Rupert Holmes' choose-your-own-adventure musical adaptation of Dickens' last, unfinished novel. Ron Daum directs. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego., 635-3901. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 and 7 pm Sundays. Closes June 8. $26-$28. All ages. Map

Neurotica Showcase

A trio of comediennes present "an entertaining and direct look at the human condition." Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., 289-246. 8:30pm Fridays May 2 and 10. $9. Map

Nobody Here But Us Chickens

A trio of one-acts unrelated but for a shared theme of disability. The first plays with our perceptions of psychosis, the second asks whether an obsession with physical fitness can itself be a disability, and the third offers a surprising and endearing twist on the classic British sex farce. Third Rail Rep’s production is very good, nailing the sight gags and one-liners and letting the author’s agenda sink in on its own. You could hardly ask for a better cast: John Steinkamp, Damon Kupper, Michael O’Connell, Maureen Porter, Valerie Stevens and Philip Cuomo are a veritable comedy all-star team. The company’s usual design team has been busy, too—the seemingly simple set hides some devilish tricks BEN WATERHOUSE. Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center, 5340 N Interstate Ave., 235-1101. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes May 24. $16-$25. Map

P.I.G. (Portland Improv Group)

Long-form, improvised musical comedy. The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 10:45 pm Saturdays. Closes May 31. $7 (cash only). All ages. Map

Pinnochio Exposed! The Blue Fairy Tells All!

Theatre Uber Alles deconstructs the Italian morality tale. There will be a cake walk. Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 285-6786. 7:30 pm Fridays-Sundays. Closes May 18. $5-$7. All ages. Map

Project X

Hand2Mouth Theatre previews a new show about "life extension, outer space and the human drive towards immortality." PCC Sylvania Little Theatre, 12000 SW 49th Ave., 977-4848. 1-3:30 pm Monday, May 12. Free. Map

Relationshit!

LastRites Productions presents five one-acts about relationships gone sour. Proceeds benefit the International Community Development Fund's efforts to send PSU students to Nicaragua. BEN WATERHOUSE. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., lastritesproductions.org. 9 pm Wednesday May 7, 10:30 pm Thursday-Friday May 8-9. $10. Map

Robin Hood

Brian Allard directs Blue Monkey Theater Company's sassy production of the classic Sherwood shenanigans. West End Theater, 1220 SW Taylor St., 593-2466. 7 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes June 8. $16-$20. All ages. Map

Sesame Street Live: When Elmo Grows Up

They'll just call him "Red." Except his wife. She'll call him "Elmie." BEN WATERHOUSE. Memorial Coliseum, 1401 N Wheeler Ave., 797-6919. 7 pm Friday,10:30 am, 2 and 5:30 pm Saturday, 1 and 4:30 pm Sunday, May 9-11. $12-$28. Map

She Stoops to Conquer

New Group Theatre Company is back with Oliver Goldsmith's 200-year-old farce, performed by five actors playing all 19 parts. Shoe Box Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 312-6789. 7 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes May 17. $10. Map

Sleeping Beauty

Northwest Children's Theater gives the sleepy gal the ol' song-and-dance treatment. NW Neighborhood Cultural Center, 1819 NW Everett St., 222-4480. 7 pm Fridays, 2 pm Saturdays, 2 and 6 pm Sundays. $10-$20. Map

Sometimes a Great Notion

[EXTENDED RUN] Aaron Posner's stage adaptation reduces Ken Kesey’s 1964 masterpiece to a 2 1/2-hour family drama about the messy relationship between half-brothers Hank and Leland Stamper, an odd couple tasked with fulfilling an impossible logging contract. It’s a good story, though it encompasses only about a third of the novel, and Posner’s use of a chorus of townspeople to simulate the novel’s narration actually works quite well. The design work is extraordinary: Tony Cisek’s set is both beautiful and eminently functional, and Casi Pacilio’s falling-tree sound effects shake the Armory’s foundations. The leads are excellent—Karl Miller (Leland) and Tobias Andersen (Henry) are especially good—but there are some weak spots. Local comedy geek Kevin-Michael Moore shouts his way through his lines, and Chris Murray expresses little beyond an adolescent sneer, and they all play up lines about the weather—Kesey’s chief antagonist—for inappropriate yuks. BEN WATERHOUSE. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays, 2 and 7:30 pm Sundays, noon Thursdays. Closes May 10. $16.50-$61.50. Map

A Streetcar Named Desire

There’s nothing like a little Tennessee Williams to ruin your weekend. Jon Kretzu sets the Pulitzer-winning coming-of-rape drama in Blanche’s moldy padded room, relating the story as a series of remembrances. A bearded doctor sits just offstage throughout the first act, occasionally nodding as Blanche (Andrea Frankle) relives her doomed visit to New Orleans. Kretzu’s vision doesn’t add much to the story, but it isn’t actively detrimental. Indeed, all that really changes is the set and Blanche’s exits. She doesn’t get any, and scene changes are covered up with moments of fantasy cliché: a disco ball, falling rose petals. Kretzu’s cast is mostly strong, though none of the men can hold on to a Southern accent. Mic Matarrese is huge and terrifying as Stanley, but his performance falters when he drops the beastliness. He comes on with such fury from the first scene that his tender moments aren’t quite believable. The real standout here isn’t Stanley, or even Blanche, but Stella. Val Landrum imbues the part with a feline languor and understated eroticism that is instantly appealing. Blanche may get all the abuse, but it’s poor, dumb, passionate Stella that we cry for. BEN WATERHOUSE. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes May 18. $20-$47. Map

Theatresports

The Brodys hop across the river for three nights of team improv. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 224-0688. 10:30 pm Saturdays, April 26-May 10. $6-$8. Map

Tom Grant and Susannah Mars

A new collaboration by the jazz pianist and local chanteuse. Wilf's Restaurant and Bar, Union Station, 800 NW 6th Ave., 223-0070. 7:30 pm Thursdays May 1 and 8. $10. Map

The Wild Party

As a show, The Wild Party is less than the sum of its parts. Its several memorable songs are lost amid a schizophrenic tapestry of musical styles, and it suffers from absolute deficits of plot and dialogue. It’s not much of a musical to begin with, and John Oules’ Live On Stage production can’t salvage it. In the style of Chicago, vaudeville performer Queenie throws a (wild) party with the aim of making her boyfriend jealous. She ends up getting him killed instead. Oops. Queenie (Erin Charles) is fine—she looks great, too—but the rest of the cast lags. Anne Hargreaves (Madeline True) could have had much more fun with “An Old-Fashioned Love Story,” hands-down the best song in the show. The choreography (Robert Guitron) isn’t any good, either: A solo performance by mute Jackie (Paul Irvin) at the end of Act II was faintly reminiscent of Corky’s dance solo in Waiting for Guffman. JOHN MINERVINI. World Trade Center, 121 SW Salmon St., 280-5483. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays, May 2-31. $27-$30. All ages. Map

CLASSICAL

Aida

Portland Opera mounts Verdi's enormous Egyptian tragedy on a 10-year-old set. Lisa Daltirus, who has received rave reviews across the country in innumerable productions of Tosca, sings the title role. BEN WATERHOUSE. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 241-1802. 7:30 pm Thursday and Saturday, May 15 and 17; 2 pm Sunday, May 11. $41.75-$147.75. Map

Darin Qualls and Cary Lewis

The award-winning violinist and pianist play music of Bach, Grieg, Szymanowski and Faure. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 800-838-3006. 8 pm Saturdays, May 10 and 17. $10-$25. Map

John Doan

The music ranges from Northwesterners like Hendrix, Fahey and Mason Williams to Fernando Sor, but the real interest lies in Doan’s beautiful axe. His modern 20-string harp guitar is a reconstruction of a 19th-century instrument that originated in the Northwest, and whose sub-bass and super-treble strings produce a beguiling ringing sound. Doan has been featured on PBS and performed with artists from Rickie Lee Jones to Larry Carlton to Burl Ives. Get a foretaste by watching his profile on OPB’s Oregon Art Beat May 8. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 364-4787. 8 pm Friday, May 9. $15-$20. Map

Marc-André Hamelin

One of the finest and more adventurous classical pianists of his generation, the Montreal native plays a wide-ranging solo program that includes a couple of his own pieces, two of Haydn’s underrated sonatas, a pair of Chopin perennials, Weissenberg’s “Sonata in a State of Jazz,” and more. BRETT CAMPBELL. Newmark Theatre, Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway., 228-1388. 4 pm Sunday, May 11 and 7:30 pm Monday, May 12. $24-$40. Map

Portland Baroque Orchestra

There’s no better introduction to Baroque—or, for that matter, little-c “classical” music—than J.S. Bach’s familiar-yet-fabulous Brandenburg concertos, but their incomparable inventiveness continues to delight even the most experienced listeners. If you’ve only heard them played on conventional instruments, PBO’s energetic performance on the instruments and in the tunings the composer intended will be a revelation. Violin virtuosa Monica Huggett will lead the ensemble in the first (for horns, oboes and strings), third (strings) and sixth (low strings) of the set, along with a boisterously rustic overture for horns, oboes and strings by the most famous composer of Bach’s time, his buddy G.P. Telemann. BRETT CAMPBELL. First Baptist Church, 909 SW 11th Ave., 222-6000. 7:30 pm Friday-Saturday, May 9 and 10 at First Baptist; 3 pm Sunday, May 11 at Kaul Auditorium, 3203 SE Woodstock St. $15-$39. Map

St. James Cantata Choir

Proving that classical music doesn’t have to be stuck in the past, the intrepid choir has, over the past three years, commissioned new motets for the Vespers — contemporary music employing the same texts that J.S. Bach used for the corresponding cantata of the day. The eighth in the new series, by Timothy Nickel, premieres Sunday, along with Bach’s Pentecost cantata, “O Eternal Fire, O Fount of Love,” with guest singers and organist accompanied by trumpets, strings, oboes and flutes. BRETT CAMPBELL. St. James Lutheran Church, 1315 SW Park Ave., 227-2439. 5 pm Sunday, May 11. Freewill offering. Map

Sunnyside Symphony Orchestra

With vocal assistance from Sunnyside Adventist Choir and the Temple Choir of the First Baptist Church of Portland, the orchestra plays Haydn’s magnificent oratorio, The Creation, which starts, appropriately, with a big bang. BRETT CAMPBELL. Sunnyside Adventist Church, 10501 SE Market St., 252-8080. 6 pm Sunday, May 18. Free. All ages. Map

Tapestry String Quartet

The foursome plays Shostakovich’s eleventh string quartet, Crusell’s clarinet quartet (with soloist Bill Leonard), and more, including a new piece by Peggy Swafford. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 222-2031. Noon Wednesday, May 7. Free. Map

DANCE

Do Jump!: Entusiasmo!

You’ll find dancers actually jumping for joy in the Do Jump! show Entusiasmo! although they’ll have a little help getting airborne from acrobatic devices including harnesses, ropes and a trapeze. Entusiasmo! is based on Alan Weisman’s book Gaviotas: A Village to Reinvent the World, which tells the true tale of a Colombian village that reinvented itself by regenerating a rainforest on once-barren territory and developing sustainable technology through trial, error and unflagging optimism. Do Jump!'s acrobatics and aerial dance are framed by a narrative in English and Spanish, traditional Colombian music by Los Llaneros and original live music by composer Joan Szymko. HEATHER WISNER. Newmark Theatre, Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway., 213-1232. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 3 pm Sundays May 17-31, plus 2 pm Saturday, May 31. $25-$35. All ages. Map

Faith Hunt Levine

Translations, a new work by modern choreographer Faith Hunt Levine, is sort of like the old game of Telephone, in which the original message changes shape and meaning from one messenger to the next. Levine’s dancers will take the same movement phrase and interpret it as they see fit, allowing for improvised performance and reaction. Levine’s travels abroad prompted her to think about how body language and gestures influence what’s being said—and heard. Music by Moby, Yael Naim and Yo-Yo Ma propels the piece, danced by a 13-member cast. HEATHER WISNER. Performance Works NW, 4625 SE 67th Ave., 801-853-3052. 8 pm Thursday-Saturday, May 15-17. $8-$15. Map

Movèo

Beaverton isn’t exactly the first place you’d look for krumping, but you will find it there when the new performance company Movèo (a product of MVP Dance Elite academy) makes its public debut. MVP’s faculty includes Damon and Demetrius Keller, former Jefferson Dancers and cofounders of the Junior Blazer Dancers; look for their imprint on “The Move: A Polychromatic International Dance Showcase,” which features hip-hop, tap, jazz and lyrical dance, plus guest performances from the breakdance crew Defcon 5 and Canadian companies The Source and Groove Nation. HEATHER WISNER. The Kingstad Center, 15450 SW Millikan Way, Beaverton., 641-5678. 7 pm Saturday, May 10. $10-$12. Map