BEST CONTRACTORS TO DISCUSS WORLD POLITICS WITH
BEST WOMAN-OWNED ORGANIC FARM
BEST USE OF A DISGRACED SPORTSCASTER
BEST EUPHEMISMS FOR "SMALL, MEDIUM OR LARGE"
BEST CAR DETAILER
BEST HONEST AUTO SHOP
BEST COMPUTER DETECTIVE
BEST USE OF A VACANT LOT
BEST ALTERNATIVE TO MCDONALD'S
BEST ALTERNATIVE TO YELLOW BIKES
BEST DOUBLE RECYCLING
BEST COMEBACK
BEST HAIRDRESSER
BEST ATM

Best Contractors to Discuss World Politics With
Yorck Franken removes his face mask and wipes the plaster from his mouth. The carpentry crew of Hammer and Hand Inc. (3317 SE 21st Ave., 232-2447) begins its morning break. Franken listens to the conversation for a minute, then joins in. "Corporate America is dominating an enormous portion of both popular culture and the government," he says. "And there's no one at the head of them in a position of real responsibility. It's just a machine hunting for the lowest bottom line." Hammer and Hand Inc. was founded four years ago by Sam Hagerman and Daniel Thomas, both Reed College graduates. Their version of corporate culture includes a steady diet of National Public Radio, local music and lots of chai. Both Hagerman and Thomas would like to change the way the trades are seen. "The public perception is that if you're a blue-collar worker in general, [it's] because you are stupid and shiftless," Hagerman says. "That is completely wrong. If you're a good, responsible carpenter, you're not bringing any less vigor or training to your job than a lawyer.... Don't get me going on Marx."

Best Woman-Owned Organic Farm
Some say that female rockers and boxers are the ultimate sign that girl power is finally subverting the dominant paradigm. Hey, tough chicks, try shoveling manure, driving a tractor and yanking weeds for 10 hours a day. It's a ballsy undertaking to start a farm in the 1990s, when suburban sprawl and corporate farms threaten many small operations. But Beth Gibans and Shari Satir, the proprietors of 5-year-old Sauvie Island Organics, have iron wills to match their muscled (and very tan) arms. They also have an acre of fans who pitch in when needed; Portland's do-it-yourself attitude and healthy lifestyle make local support for an upstart organic farm almost a given. The only certified organic farmers on Sauvie Island, Gibans and Satir serve four local restaurants, two farmers markets and a 57-member CSA (Community Supported Agriculture), where members pony up capital at the beginning of the season in exchange for five months of fresh produce. The farm itself is not open to the public, but you can sample its selection of chemical-free flowers, herbs and vegetables at the Portland Farmers Market (10 am-2 pm Wednesdays, 8 am-1 pm Saturdays at the North Park Blocks) or at Higgins, Wildwood, Paley's Place and Saucebox.

Best Use of a Disgraced Sportscaster
Maggie Pike, owner of Maggie's Buns, takes credit for the double entendre in the name of her downtown Forest Grove bakery. But she says it's one of her regular customers, Greg Buchanon, who inspired her to use Marv Albert to promote her trademark cinnamon rolls. Pike, who bakes about 200 of the rolls each day (along with an assortment of pastries and pastas), says soon the general public can share the bun pun. Buchanon's biting humor is so popular it's going to be put on bowling shirts.

Best Euphemisms for "Small, Medium or Large"
You're probably thinking Coffee People or Starbucks, where cute monikers encourage overconsumption; ordering a "grande" mocha is supposed to make you feel like a macho man instead of a fat slob. But would we promote, or even condone, such cloying manipulation? No way. We cast our vote for the straightforward snack board at the Clinton Street Theater (2522 SE Clinton St., 238-8899). Proprietor Adam Moore (an occasional WW contributor) takes the piss out of precious marketing ploys with his superlative soda sizes. The man puts the pop-culture reference in popcorn; you might be compelled to order the extra large bucket just so you can say, "I am vast, I contain multitudes." With classic films from Beyond the Valley of the Dolls to The Godfather showing for only $3.75, you might as well shell out for a $2.50 "destroyer of worlds" soda, too.

Best Car Detailer
A miracle isn't too strong a word to describe it: The magic that Tim Majka (pronounced McKay) can work on the dirtiest, dingiest car or truck will amaze you. "I like seeing the surprise on people's faces when they see their car look brand new," Majka says. He's been working on cars for 10 years, mostly in his spare time, and he has also worked as a pipe welder. It's hard to describe just how meticulously Majka will go over your vehicle; he scrubs places you probably didn't even know your car had. His fee, $150, may seem steep at first--until you discover he spends about 12 hours with each car. "I do it the way I'd like my car to be," he says. Call 255-4394 for more information.

Best Honest Auto Shop
Auto mechanics are often regarded as half a step above thieves: They screw you because they can and it's legal. The trusty staff at Affordable Tire and Brake Co. (711 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 235-1808) are more like Eagle Scouts than criminals, lending a free hand when it's needed. Owner Mike McMillen opened the shop 21?2 years ago and has been supplying superior customer service ever since. Reasoning that a flat tire is enough of an inconvenience without a bill attached, McMillen and his crew routinely fix flats and mount and rotate tires for free. McMillen correctly figures that extending these services gratis will keep customers and their friends coming back. The company's sales increased 40 percent in 1997, and there's been a 20 percent raise on that so far this year.

Best Computer Detective
Hired out by law firms and mega corporations, cyber gumshoe Ron Peters is like a character from the opening pages of a William Gibson novel. He's the Portland operative for Computer Forensics Inc., a Seattle company that specializes in following e-mail trails, reconstructing "shredded" electronic documents and tracking digital footprints to help clients in everything from wrongful termination suits to fraud and blackmail cases. Peters has helped his 4-year-old company--which has been featured in ComputerWorld and InfoWorld as the nation's première digital detective company--get the goods on a cast of shady double crossers. By tracing one man's online stock activity for a divorce settlement, Computer Forensics was able to show that the sneaky ex-husband lied about his savings and was hiding his investments from his wife.

Best Use of a Vacant Lot
Slow down on Southeast 39th Avenue as you approach the intersection of Hawthorne Boulevard or you'll miss one of the most interesting examples of community activism in Portland. This piece of land, donated by Washington Mutual to Janus Youth Programs, has been converted from its miserable state as a vacant lot into a youth-led oasis of fruits, vegetables and community spirit. The Student Alliance of Garden Entrepreneurs is a group of youth volunteers sponsored by Janus Youth Programs who care for the garden and sell their harvested wares to EAT PYE, a Janus pizza company that encourages business entrepreneurship among young people.

Best Alternative to McDonald's
The goal of Portland's nonprofit Youth Empowerment Skills Program is to teach business skills to teen-agers. Recently the program has gone a step further and opened a business of its own. The Rise & Shine Deli (619 SW 11th Ave.) serves good, inexpensive deli food from 7 am to 4 pm on weekdays. The whole establishment is youth-operated, and these kids know what they're doing; the veggie sandwich ($2.75) is loaded with cheddar, avocado, tomatoes and sprouts. The typical deli menu also includes bagels, soups, salads and even Starbucks espresso drinks.

Best Alternative to Yellow Bikes
If cycling a one-speed just won't get you there, don't worry; Portland is the first city in the country to try another innovation by those nutty Euro-socialists--car sharing. CarSharing, a new Portland company, bought two Dodge Neons and a pick-up truck, and made them available to the owner of the new Buckman Heights apartment buildings (430 NE 16th Ave., 232-4040). Tenants of new 144-unit complex can call and reserve a car when they need to go to Costco, Mount Hood or Aunt Matilda's house. They pay for it by the hour and mile; all gas, insurance and repairs are included in the rates. (Warning: a hefty security deposit is also required.) "We're only 10 blocks from the MAX line, but you can't ride light rail everywhere," says Buckman Heights developer Ed McNamara. "You still do need a car to go some places in this society. It's the way to go for someone who drives less than 5,000 miles a year." The apartments open Aug. 1. Studios start at $500 a month. CarSharing is also available to non-Buckman residents. Call 872-9882 for details.

Best Double Recycling
Wander through any of Portland's gentrifying neighborhoods and it's easy to believe that 28 percent of our waste comes from construction materials. The stuff has to go somewhere, and until now, it's mostly been going to the dump. But a Portland recycling company has finally caught up to Eugene's bizarre and wonderful Bring Recycling. The newly opened Rebuilding Center (2015 NW 23rd Ave., 221-3193) accepts used construction materials--doors, window frames, latex paint, tiles, concrete bricks and, yes, kitchen sinks--and resells them to the public. What's even more impressive than the environmental angle is that the center is a nonprofit agency that funnels the money back into the community. It also provides free materials to groups that specialize in low-income housing, such as Habitat for Humanity.

Best Comeback
Last year, the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry could have won Best Flop if we gave such awards. After the flood, escalating debt and months of lackluster exhibits, the future looked bleak for the city's science museum. But then, Pat LaCrosse came on board as president. The city, regional and state governments helped out with funds to tide the museum over, and OMSI landed the American première of the Missing Links--Alive! exhibit as well as the Everest IMAX movie. Finally, two weeks ago, the Swigert trust gave the museum its largest gift: $3.3 million.

Best Hairdresser
Diane Carnevale is riding the "she told two friends and she told two friends and so on and so on and so on" train. And no wonder. Carnevale, who wields her shears at the aptly named At the Salon (2108 NW Glisan St., 295-1242), has won fans far and wide with her laid-back personal style, eerily in-depth knowledge of hair types and beyond-the-call-of-duty investment in patron happiness. Carnevale is a Levi's-and-a-smile kind of gal who loves what she's been doing for the past eight years, and it shows. She has a subtle scissor style that allows patrons to get a whole new look without losing a lot of length. Carnevale is also a master of shaping short hair to any face. Her $25-per-haircut price is well within the reach of most parlorgoers; chances are good that the cute-cutted girl you see selling flowers on the street or stamping hands at your favorite club has had a touch of Diane. Her only flaw? She's so popular that sometimes it's hard to get an appointment.

Best ATM
Sandwiched between a Key Bank, US Bank, Bank of America and the downtown bus mall is a very welcome sign to folks with accounts elsewhere: "Credit Union ATM; no extra charges." The green and white CU ATM (between Southwest Washington and Stark streets on 5th Avenue) looks like a European subway vestibule and accepts any kind of card without tacking on that annoying message: "This transaction will cost you $1.50 not including your bank's charges. Do you wish to proceed?"