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 BEST
PLACE TO PUT THE PEDAL TO THE METAL
No flywheel, no brakes, no fear. Welcome to the
adrenaline-pumped Alpenrose Velodrome (6149 SW Shattuck
Road, 661-5874, www.obra.org/track)
home of Portland's bicycle track-racing community. One of
only 20 velodromes in the country, the 268.4-meter track
(built by dairy men in pre-metric 1967) features some of
the cycling world's steepest banks: The curves are banked
at a gravity-defying 42 degrees. Between April and September,
the track hosts racing sessions every Thursday night and
beginners' sessions on Wednesdays. "It's fast," says racer
Norrene Valente. "It's war on bicycles."
BEST
JUKEBOX
We've all been there: You enter a bar for the first time,
groove on the new vibe and think to yourself, "Yeah, this
joint is pretty sweet. I could imagine diving into highballs
here on a regular basis." Then, almost as an afterthought,
you flip through the jukebox. That's when your insides scream
in horror, your eyes scorched by aural banalities such as
Travis Tritt, Natalie Merchant and--my god, no!--Jimmy Buffett.
The juke at the Rialto (529 SW 4th
Ave., 228-7605) makes no such missteps. Portland's primary
pool hall understands its crowd and appeases it with kingly
selections for the romantic drunks (Mingus, Miles and 'Trane),
rockabilly greasers (Rev. Horton Heat, Flapjacks, Stray
Cats) and righteous coolies (Sebadoh, Sonic Youth and Sleater-Kinney).
There's also a smattering of quality country, punk, soul
and ska. In fact, you might as well skip the pricey pool
tables and save your money for the ruling tunes instead.
Meritorious runners-up include the Vern (a.k.a. Hanigan's
Tavern, 2622 SE Belmont St., 233-7851) and the Lutz (4639
SE Woodstock Blvd., 774-0353).
BEST
POOL TABLE
Surprisingly, the best place for a royal game
of nine-ball isn't at a chi-chi hot spot or hustlers' hangout,
but in Joe's Cellar (1332 NW 21st Ave., 223-8825),
the amiable blue-collar bar on the fringe of yuppie Northwest.
Even if you play like a lamb, the Cellar's table with lion-mask
corners makes you feel like king of billiard jungle. And,
unlike places where pool is the primary lure, at Joe's your
chance of being the big cat is fairly high (provided you're
not, of course).
 BEST
MUSIC CLASS FOR BABIES
Experts say that kids become smarter and better
students if they learn music at an early age. But how soon
should the tots be taught? The Community Music Center (3350
SE Francis St., 823-3177) offers classes for kids as young
as six months old. Shera Sinell, a board certified registered
music therapist teaches Music for Creepers and Toddlers,
for kids ages 6 months to 23 months. The class is designed
to develop children's emotional response to music. Sinell
introduces songs, fingerplay, dancing and listening games
to babies and their parents or caregivers. The 45-minute
class meets once a week for 12 weeks per term during the
school year; the fee is $45 for Portland residents. CMC,
part of Portland Parks & Recreation's City Arts program,
offers introductory music classes to kids of all ages as
well as affordable, high-quality lessons and ensemble opportunities
for dedicated music students. Added incentive: Parents of
CMC students receive a 20 percent discount on adult classes
such as group lessons in voice; fiddling; piano; recorder
and Renaissance winds; guitar; violin; and cello. Call CMC
to be placed on a mailing list for a catalog of fall classes.
BEST
BLACKTOP
There are plenty of courts in Portland for a
game of playground basketball, but no blacktop boasts a
better caliber of dribble drives, no-look passes and thundering
dunks than Irving Park (Northeast 7th Avenue and
Fremont Street). Over the years this neighborhood roundball
mecca has nurtured the skills of such playground legends
as Richard Hollis and NBA veterans Terrell Brandon and Damon
Stoudamire. College coaches from around the state even send
their players here in the summer to compete against the
best Portland has to offer. Of course, not every contest
requires that you bring a Jordan-esque A-game to the court.
But clearly, Irving Park is where those who got game go.
If you want to test your skills or just sit back to watch
the city's best hoops, this is the place.
BEST
SUMMER STRESS-MANAGEMENT PLAN
BY A BLAZER
Rasheed Wallace is spending his summer vacation
in good company and good spirits. The Trail Blazers' forward
is hosting one night of the Russell Simmons Def Comedy
Jam Live Tour as part of his "Trail Blazing for Children"
fund-raising weekend in Philadelphia July 23 and 24. A hat
trick of gala events, including a Friday-night cocktail
party, a Saturday rap concert and a Sunday black-tie dinner
and auction, benefits the Rasheed A. Wallace Foundation.
The organization helps underprivileged Philadelphia residents.
Among the attendees at the Def Comedy Jam will be comedians
A.J. Johnson, Chocolate, Honest John and DJ Kid Capri. The
concert, put on by Wallace's record label, Urban Life Music,
will host musicians Missy Elliott, Ginuwine and the Dogg
Pound. Considering that the talented yet temperamental forward
is still working on his stress-management skills, perhaps
a few laughs are just what the doctor ordered.
BEST
SIGN AT A BLAZERS GAME
Despite the inherent sit-on-their-hands lameness
of Blazer fans, they did distinguish themselves during the
playoffs with their creativity. The ersatz Brian Grant dreadlock
caps were a hoot; as were the Band-Aids sported by about
10,000 fans during the final game against the evil elbow-wielding
Utah Jazz. But what really stood out were some of the signs
that fans hoisted at games. (Although please, people, Brian
Grant's nickname is "Rasta," not "Rosta," Monsta.) Our favorites?
Second runner-up: "Houston We Have a Problem" held high
during a Portland blowout of the Rockets in early March.
First runner-up: A "Jazz Lose" spoof of a Jazz fan's faux
license plate that read "Won One," complete with the tag
line "My Other Wife Is a Blonde." And the No. 1 sign bared
at a Blazers game? "Karl Milosevic."
BEST
PLACE TO WATCH GREYHOUNDS RUN WITHOUT HAVING TO PLACE A
BET
Watching a greyhound gracefully run at full speed--up
to 40 miles per hour--is simply wondrous, but most of the
time people only get to see these magnificent dogs fly at
the track. Once retired from racing, the hounds still love
to run and compete against each other, but since the local
park's evening doggie get-together consists of a hodgepodge
of breeds that pose no challenge to the speedy greyhound,
life can be dull for the otherwise lazy dogs. So what's
a skinny pooch to do? Join the weekly greyhound play group.
On Sunday mornings from about 9 to 11, dozens of greyhounds
and their human families get together for romping and informal
racing in the fenced field behind the Columbia Center
Multnomah ESD Elementary and Middle School (take the
Marine Drive exit off I-5, turn right, travel two miles
and turn left into the park immediately after the yellow
school buses). Don't forget your muzzle!
BEST
REASON TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL
It's a deal that can't be beat--if you don't
mind waiting. During the school year, the Portland Parks
and Recreation Department (823-7529) rents public school
gyms to volleyball and basketball enthusiasts at extremely
nominal rates. A $5.75 application fee plus $4.75 for each
hour is all it takes to secure gym space for an hour one
night a week for up to eight weeks (Sept. 8-Nov. 5) or 15
weeks (Nov. 8-March 17). Of course, the courts are in high
demand, and dangling on hold from the Parks and Rec. registration
line is enough to tax a saint's patience, but your perseverance
will pay off come January. When the nights are long, cold
and rainy, you and your friends will be grateful to have
a place to play.
BEST
BIGGER, LONGER, UNCUT
CARD COLLECTION
A lot of people collect trading cards, but Jeff
Sosne, one of the city's leading child psychologists, has
raised card collecting to a higher level. Rather than accumulating
thousands of the final product, Sosne collects entire sheets
before they are cut into individual cards. Part of the attraction,
he says, is the thrill of the chase; unlike the U.S. Postal
Service does with sheets of stamps, manufacturers won't
sell sheets of cards. Sosne buys at auction, from recyclers
and on the Internet. The walls of the rambling Multnomah
Village complex where he and his partners see clients are
lined with framed sheets of vintage Blazers cards, even
Batman and Star Wars cards. A basketball nut, his collection
includes sheets of Wheaties boxes with Michael Jordan on
the front. Still, he estimates his collection is the most
extensive in the country and among the most valuable. His
most prized sheet is the Topps 1969 NBA basketball series,
so cherished he says, "it's the only one even Bill Gates
couldn't afford to buy from me."
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Willamette Week | originally
published July 21, 1999
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