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BEST BLOCK TO CRUNCH AND MUNCH
It's wise to focus on drinking water and not eating
carbs before visiting the Yoga College of India (4831 NE Fremont
St., 284-0555), but after an hour-and-a-half session of hot
yoga, you'll be ravenous. The beautiful studio, newly opened
July 12, offers demanding Bikram yoga classes three times
daily. The space is another satellite in the ever-expanding
yoga empire, giving eastsiders easier access to the hatha
practice (Portland's original YCI is located at 5816 SW Hood
St.). Taught in a room heated to over 100 degrees, Bikram
yoga allows you to work deeply into muscles and organs while
detoxifying bodily systems. It leaves you feeling psychologically
renewed but physically drained. Luckily, the YCI is located
on what is fast becoming Northeast's Nob Hill. On Fremont
Street between 48th and 50th avenues, yogis can refuel
with huge organic sandwiches and salads at the Leaf &
Bean or omelets from Suzanne's. After evening classes, find
French cuisine at Trio and salmon Caesar salads, burgers and
other tavern fare at the Alameda Brewpub.
BEST
PLACE TO HANG OUT WITH CREEPS
So you're browsing for an out-of-print how-to
book on tam-'o-shanters, figuring if you hit the craft section
often enough, that should it ever show up, you'll find it
first. But after a few patrols you can't help but notice
that this particular cranny of Powell's on Hawthorne
(3747 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 238-1668) always seems to be populated
by a furtive, shady bunch who don't give a damn about felting
or Fair Isle sweaters. Just what is going on here? Is it
the nearby bathroom? The film noir books just around the
corner? Take a peek at the aisle locator signs; books about
macramé and Porthault linen share space with the
"art" photography books. All the sideways-glancing, nervous
people are ogling books by Mapplethorpe and anybody else
who likes to photograph nekked people. Note to Michael Powell:
Can we get some shrink-wrap over here?
BEST
ANTI-"MAUL" SOLUTION
Your garage or cat just got tagged? The Graffiti
Removal Task Force offers free graffiti-removal kits
in nine of the city's 27 fire stations. "This program is
a real community model. People work together to better the
city. I think this is how the community needs to work,"
says Rachel Jackie of the Portland Fire Bureau's community
emergency services division. The kits, which have been circulating
since March 1995, come complete with buckets, solvents,
paints and masks. Graffiti-removal kits can be checked out
on loan from fire stations 3, 8, 13, 14, 18 and 23; to find
the kit closest to you, call the Portland Fire Bureau at
823-3700.
BEST
DOOR-TO-DOOR SCAM
Southeast Portland residents have reported a bold advancement
of the door-to-door con: A slightly befuddled man knocks
on the door, claims to be a neighbor and, in crisp, precise
diction, describes a horrific scenario involving an incontinent
mother and a dearth of adult diapers. Preying on neighborly
kindness, the man asks to borrow money for the necessary
items with a promise of quick repayment as soon as Mother's
Medicare check arrives. The scam is clenched when the man
invites the neighbor to witness Mother's mess. The beauty
of this operation is threefold: 1) the claim is too awful
not to be true; 2) it preys on everyone's guilty feelings
about their own mother; and 3) if this story is true and
you don't offer to help, what kind of callous being are
you?
BEST
EXAMPLE OF PORTLANDERS LETTING PORTLANDERS BE PORTLANDERS
Where do you go when your hobby, which revolves
around bars, drinking and hanging out, becomes your downfall?
On sunny weekend afternoons and lazy Sunday nights, the
self-proclaimed "Dry and Sober" branch of the "Alky Angels"
chooses Starbucks. These Harley hulks roll up on their
shining souped-up chrome steers to the outlet on Northwest
23rd Avenue and Hoyt Street where they order double lattes,
stake their claim at the outside tables and proceed to babe-watch,
strum guitars and compare engine size for hours on end.
They add character to the bland green-and-white façade
of the chain, and though they may revert to an occasional
leer, they are generally a welcome addition to the hood.
However, for surrounding residents, business owners and
visitors to this increasingly busy thoroughfare, the noise
these Harleys make when they start their engines (as many
as 30-40 bikes on a hoppin' afternoon) is enough to set
window panes shaking, babies crying, dogs yelping and tourists
scurrying. The fact that nobody complains about the racket
is pure testament to Portlanders' capacity for letting people
just do their thing.
BEST
PLACE TO TAG LEGALLY
Some 25 years ago, one brave female soul dared
to write on one of the classiest bathroom walls in Portland--in
Genoa Restaurant (2832 SE Belmont St., 238-1464).
Joan Husman, who has been a chef at the restaurant since
1977, remembers that instead of painting over this original
graffiti, the owners of the Genoa painted around
it and used a small gold frame to feature the spot. Today,
the frame remains, as does 25 years of graffiti. "It's a
very sweet tradition," says Husman. "It's sort of like a
guest book. People can explain the way they experienced
their dinner, and it's very personal because it's in the
ladies' room." The square is covered in lipstick kisses,
birth announcements, declarations of love and some strange
dinner descriptions: "Fricassee of moose that has been marinated
in catnip; parboiled and garnished with butterflies."
BEST
EPITOME OF PORTLAND
Overheard page at the West Burnside Street Powell's
on June 29: "Any Powell's employee who can assist a customer
with Bibles, please report to the Rose Room.... Any Powell's
employee who knows anything about Bibles, please report..."
Repeated five times.
BEST
PLACE TO LIVE IF YOU DON'T COOK
Calling all toast-burners and soup-scorchers--pack
up your stuff and move to the most happening culinary corner
in town. That's right, if you set up house near the intersection
of Southeast Milwaukie Avenue and Bybee Boulevard, you'll
never have to cook again. Situated near this succulent crossroads
are many of Portland's droolingest restaurants. Hit Kay's
Bar and Grill (6903 SE Milwaukie Ave., 232-4447) for a great
burger. Check out either Bella Coola (6910 SE Milwaukie
Ave., 233-1547) or Fiddleheads (6716 SE Milwaukie Ave.,
233-1547) for North American indigenous cuisine. Stop by
Fishtales (1621 SE Bybee Blvd., 239-5796 ) for fresh seafood.
Swing by Saburo's Sushi House (1667 SE Bybee Blvd., 236-4237)
for huge sushi or Stickers Asian Cafe (6808 SE Milwaukie
Ave., 239-8739) for some dumplings. Finally, treat yourself
to the finest in Northwest cuisine at Caprial's Bistro (7015
SE Milwaukie Ave., 236-6457). Then walk home to a kitchen
full of clean dishes.
BEST
LOUIS XIV BATHROOMS
The lounge-like bathrooms at the risen-from-the-ashes
Empire Room (4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 231-9225) are
bigger and better-looking than most studio apartments. Veiled
in muted reds, greens and mustards and accented by potpourri,
a vintage vanity and lush drapes, it beckons the femmes
to visit the toilet again and again. The bathroom for hommes
is equally attractive, appointed in deep forest green and
black. Distraught lovers can make whispered phone calls
from within the cedar walls of the cabinet téléphonique,
conveniently located outside the WCs. Be careful not to
get lost: To reach the actual bathrooms, customers must
pad down the slender, red-carpeted hallway and make several
turns.
BEST
MAKE-A-WISH SPINOFF
Jennifer Bay, activities director of Marquis
at Vermont Hills, a nursing facility where most of the residents
are wheelchair-bound, runs a program to provide clients
with dreams come true like these: a hot-air balloon
trip, a camel trek, a radio-station cameo and, of course,
a jaunt on a Harley Davidson. "They think it's fantastic,"
says Bay. "The people who have done it want to do it again.
My mom thought of the program, and I went thumbing through
the yellow pages and called people up to ask them if they
wanted to volunteer their services." All services are donated,
so Bay simply has to match dream-makers with dreamers. Every
month Bay randomly picks a lucky name. Last October, Lois
Lewellen dared to take a helicopter ride with Newberg Precision
Helicopters Inc. "I loved it," she says, after admitting
she was nervous at first. "I never knew the city was so
big." People with services to volunteer can reach Bay at
246-8811.
BEST
MAX STOP FOR INTELLIGENTSIA
Thanks to the westside MAX public-art program,
each of the 20 new light-rail stops offer riders more than
just shelter. But the Hillsboro Central Transit Center has
something you'll find at no other light-rail station west
of the Mississippi: a commuter library. Since Sept.
12, the Hillsboro Public Library has been operating a tiny
branch at the 3rd Street Station, offering 5,000 paperback
bestsellers, audio books and current issues of magazines,
including Sports Illustrated, Cosmopolitan,
Men's Health and Newsweek. The real draw,
however, is the video shelf. Recently, the little biblio-outpost
featured about 70 fairly new releases--from Amistad
and The Horse Whisperer to Titanic and The
X-Files--all of which can be borrowed for three days
by any card-carrying library patron in the metro area. Hillsboro
Library director Debbie Brodie says the branch averages
about 100 checkouts a day.
BEST
SALON DECOR
Nestled in the midst of the blossoming artistic
district on Northeast Alberta Street, a new salon is returning
to some old ideas. Medusa Salon (2217 NE Alberta
St., 280-8992) is named to express the philosophies of founder/owner
Randall Feinberg: "Keep it natural, and don't be too vain."
The salon, designed by Feinberg, offers a soothing and comfortable
experience. The decor is inspired by Feinberg's favorite
childhood stories and illustrations, especially those by
Maurice Sendak and Dr. Seuss. "There's a bitter-sweetness
to them," Feinberg confesses. "They're nice and warm and
friendly with a little hauntedness, a little edge." Medusa
Salon's starry ceiling and antique waterfall vanities embody
the individuality of the place, each item freestanding but
aesthetically compatible. This focus on individuality transfers
over into Feinberg's and fellow stylist Amanda Williams'
treatment of their clients.
BEST
PROTEST
Pedestrians often let their gaze linger on Norman
and Betsy Riviere's stately house, but now they stop to
study a sign on the lawn. A bright yellow plaque positioned
near the street reads: "Coming Soon!!! 7-Eleven to Serve
New Condos." The Rivieres have lived at 2514 NW Westover
Road since 1981; in recent years, their stunning view of
the city has become a bit marred by scores of new developments.
To start with, there's the boxy and sterile Westover three
doors down. There's a set of condos across the street, and
construction of another condominium complex nearby is imminent.
The sign is a jab at the role local developers and city
officials play in what the Rivieres see as the neighborhood's
diminishing livability.
BEST
EXAMPLE OF URBAN BLIGHT
Aficionados of post-war scenes of Dresden and
Sarajevo would surely revel in the wrecked building at the
corner of Northwest Couch Street and 3rd Avenue in what
was once derisively called the "European" part of town.
The Portland Seamen's Bethel, built in 1881, was
never one of the cast-iron masterpieces of Old Town, yet
its present distressed state casts a blight across the entire
district. Cracked windows hang from rotting casements or
have been replaced with cheap plywood, while the upper three
floors and scraps of cornice are burnt black from soot and
neglect. The owner's hands are tied by well-meaning rules
that guard against the destruction of historic buildings.
It would take millions of dollars to save the Bethel, which
is quite impractical since the building has literally no
foundation beneath it. Surely the best course of action
would be to demolish the building, salvaging all the cast-iron
pilasters. Within the Oregon Historical Society's collection
sits warehouses full of preserved cast-iron work from the
wholesale demolition of Portland's past. Given the construction
boom taking place within the Old Town area, why aren't architects
and city planners utilizing this store of elegant artifacts?
The banal confections rising around the Bethel could indeed
use a dose of its wounded charm.
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Willamette Week | originally
published July 21, 1999
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