Qwest Communication's
takeover of US West was finally completed July 5, creating
a corporate behemoth serving 29 million customers in 14
countries.
A recent report
from the Federal Communications Commission ranked US West
last among all the baby Bells in several measures of service
quality.
IThe seconds tick away. The earth spins around
on its axis. Empires fall and crumble into dust. Spiders
roam across your lifeless carapace, gleefully burying
your head beneath a mat of cobwebs. And you're still
on hold with Qwest, a.k.a. US West, a.k.a. the phone company.
Despair not, weary residential telephone customer--your
Public Utilities Commission has not forsaken you. After
months of legal wrangling, the Oregon PUC has finally
succeeded in getting Qwest to reveal detailed information
about dead lines, calls that don't go through, and the
length of time customers are put on hold before they speak
to a live body.
Qwest has long provided statewide averages, but regulators
argued that customers had a right to know about the quality
of service at individual wire centers--data Qwest claimed
was secret. This week, for the first time ever, the PUC
put that data on line (www.puc.state.or.us).
The negotiations were difficult, according to PUC chairman
Ron Eachus, who characterized the phone company's attitude
as "obstinate" and "arrogant."
The data show glaring disparities among the wire centers.
Corvallis, Grants Pass and Klamath Falls, for example,
have not met the PUC standards for blocked calls (busy
signals) in a single month this year.
In the Portland area, the worst offender is the Burlington
center, which recorded an eye-popping 40.42 trouble reports
per thousand lines in April, more than 20 times the allowable
maximum.
Eachus hopes that making the data public will increase
pressure on Qwest to clean up its act. "They are a monopoly
that figured out how to manipulate the system to make
a ton of money without providing good service," he told
WW.
Qwest spokesman Michael Dunne denies any stalling on
the company's part, but concedes that it has room for
improvement. "Making service better is our number-one
priority," says Dunne, adding that the new company is
looking forward to a "new climate of cooperation" with
state utilities commissions.
Speaking of climates, however, you may still have to
wait until the next Ice Age to get your DSL line (see
sidebar). The state PUC has no power to regulate services
such as DSL, which remains under the sway of the Federal
Comm-unications Commission.
DS
HELL
Like many computer-dependent urban dwellers, Internet
graphic artist Andy Montgomery wanted faster Internet
access at home. After two failed attempts, Andy finally
had an appointment to get a dedicated subscriber line
last month and arranged to take off work to meet the technician.
But before heading home, he called Art, his "personal
technical advocate" at US West, just to double-check.
The following is his account--only slightly embellished,
he says--of how it went, after Art assured him that the
job order was scheduled for that day.
Andy: You're sure? 'Cause I'm at work, and I'll need
to head home.
Art: Oh yes. I just need to call and find out the status...
So you don't know if it's with a tech yet or not?
No, I'm sure it is. I just need to call and find out.
So you don't actually know?
I know that the tech should get it today. That's guaranteed.
What's guaranteed? You can't guarantee a 'should.'
That's like saying,
'definitely maybe.' Is the tech going to be there
or not?
He is scheduled to receive the order today, yes.
That doesn't answer my question. I need to know if
I need to take
off of work or not...
Oh, you're not at the residence?
No. I'm at work.
Then no one is at the house?
Oh, no...our cats are home. Make sure the tech doesn't
touch Buzz's left
ear because he's getting over an infection... No,
there's no one at the
house--that's why I'm calling!
Oh, that would be bad. If there's no one home when the
tech gets there,
your order gets put in the back of the line again.
No--really? Gosh, that would suck. Guess I should
call someone who knows
if the damned tech will be at my friggin' house
today!
OK, I have an idea. Why don't I call the tech and see
if he's scheduled
to be at your residence today.
Brilliant. Thank St. Christopher I called you.
OK, I'll track him down and find out the status of your
order. Would it be better to call you back at [Art
reads Andy's home number].
No. That's the number at my house.
Oh. No one's there to answer the phone then?
The cat's aren't really into phones. Answering dead
squirrels? Totally different thing. Laundry-pile riding?
Way their gig. Phones? No. Looking back on
our conversation, I'd say it's safe to assume that
there's no one at my house.
So is there a number where I can reach you?
Yes. [Andy gives Art his office number.]
And what number is that then, just for my records? Your
cell number?
No, it's my work number. I'm at work!!!
Listen very closely: aaaat wooorrrk.
Well, it's a good thing you called. If there's no one
home when the tech gets there, you get passed, and your
order gets put in the back of the line again.
Oh my God!!! Help me! Do something!!!
I'll call you right back with the status of your order,
Anthony.
It's Andrew.
No, this is Art.
