Drink
Energy Beer!
Attack of the Big Wits! Another Lucky Portland Lady! The Beer Swami Tells All!

by ABRAM GOLDMAN-ARMSTRONG
243-2122

Let me adjust the towel on my head and gaze into my crystal pint glass to see the foam of beer to come. Ah. Just as I thought: When the Real Millennium™ draws near, the beer will flow, and the beer will be good. Also, in no particular order:

The personal will become political.

With Dubya at the head of the federal government, dam-breaching for salmon has been relegated to a Cascadian pipe dream. Come Earth Day, the tree huggers will get their revenge when Detonator Dopplebock is released. The brewers at Fish have created a batch "dedicated to the removal of dams that kill fish." While it may not singlehandedly breach the dams, one thing's for certain: It'll blow Texas' Shiner Bock right out of the water.

You better watch out, 'cause...

Portland Brewing Company is set to release Black Watch Cream Porter in the next month. Fermented with lager yeast, this rich, coal-black beer is a style all its own. A roasty, oaty aroma introduces a creamy porter with nice dryness from the oats and a big chocolate flavor.

The Wits are coming!

Several brands of witbier, a Belgian wheat beer that
is the distant cousin of hefeweizen, will be imported to Oregon in the next few months. These pale-straw-colored wheat beers have a refreshing citrus note from bitter orange peel, and they're lightly hopped and spiced with coriander for a nice clean flavor. Wiekse Witte, from the Netherlands, and Hoegaarden, the classic example from Belgium, should be available in Oregon soon. For a homegrown example, try the Alameda Brew Pub's Le Cheval Blanc.

We'll bag another Guinness pub.

If you're a woman in the Portland area, you may very well win a pub in Ireland from Guinness' Paddy's Day writing contest. Two of the six winners since the start of the contest have been women from the Portland metro area; I'm no bookmaker, but the odds seem good for another winner. Keep those pens scratchin', ladies.

California: Dream On.

Those wacky Californians don't know where to stop. They get to steal our water in the summer, and what do they do with it? Apparently, they make "E Beer," with ginseng and other natural stimulants added. I just read of this phenomenon, which is not surprising considering the amount of Red Bull consumed in cocktails out there, but my pint glass tells me this stuff will drop like a concrete parachute in the Northwest.